[alwayssmile]

Interesting thread to bump up!

Ummm....I hated our birth with a passion. I didn't see DS for over 2 hours after he was born. He did take to BFing immediately once we were together, but I did not feel any sort of instant bond. I was in pain and very upset about having a c/s. It took weeks for us to bond and for me to feel like I was his mom and not just some random person put in charge of him. APing definitely helped me so much though. He was always on me or sleeping next to me and the bond that grew has been the best ever.

[Fluga]

How nice to pop by here and see my old thread bumped up.

I have had another baby since writing the first post. This time I got the immediate skin to skin. I was expecting the instant love but it didnt materialize for me. I suppose I'm just one of those who it takes a while. Since I had such a hard time with the first birth I had all kinds of ideas, of staring into my (non medicated) baby's eyes, to see if she'd breast crawl etc. What I got was a little baby who screamed her head off until I took her and plopped her to the boob. She stayed stuck to my boob for the next 48hours .

[ashj_1218]

I was wondering how I missed such a huge thread just in a couple days...but I now see it was an oldie (but seemingly a goodie).

I had almost the "opposite" of the typical experience. I had a completely natural, basically non-interventist birth with Liam. He was skin-to-skin immediately and no one really messed with him. BUT, he had to go to NICU about 15 after he was born because he was having a lot of trouble breathing. So, I did not really get a lot of time to bond with him before he left. Sure, we were high on hormones for the time I had him and he was right there with me (although we did not have time to latch him to nurse). But I never really felt anything in particular when he was born. I was happy he was here and excited like you could not believe (it was the closest thing I can imagine to smoking crack...how hopped up I was on adrenaline for days). But I never really felt anything like an intense love or connection until he was solidly a few months old. I cared for him and knew I should be feeling more. But it was a long-time coming. Although once it came, it was like a Mac truck.

With Kieran, my birth was way more interventist...although still mostly natural (pitocin was involved with lots of monitoring). But the second that kid popped out it was like an immediate flood of emotions and I literally did not let go of him for three hours. No one took him, we nursed, we chatted, it was like I had known him my whole life and just had never met him before. It was more of what I had expected out of my first birth and didn't get. I think it might have had something to do with knowing more of what to expect and being calmer the second time around. And him being healthier (not needing any special care). But I definately preferred the second birth-bonding experience to the first, which considering how "out of control" (aka: off the birth plan) I felt in my labor was a surprising thing

[Anna2ds]

I don't think you necessarily have to bond at birth to have a good relationship. I was in ICU after my youngest child was born. I couldn't see her at all for like a day and a half. Once I was able to see her I felt so relieved and held her constantly. I did attachment parenting with all of my children as newborns and that seemed to help with bonding.