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Not even a PR and I think I'm done...


Forum: Attachment Parenting

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  #1  
April 8th, 2009, 05:14 PM
~Jackie
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There have already been two CIO threads. I'm over it.
  #2  
April 8th, 2009, 05:44 PM
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WHAT!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah pr's are difficult IMO.
  #3  
April 8th, 2009, 06:30 PM
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  #4  
April 8th, 2009, 07:24 PM
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How sad, your little ones are so little still!
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  #5  
April 8th, 2009, 08:31 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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This is part of the reason I never could join a DDC. CIO is really sad to me & I can't stand to hear about LO's crying & not being comforted. My LO cried a LOT - but only IF I didnt' do the things he needed in order to be content. If I was willing to wear him, hold him, bounce him, keep him swaddled, etc...he really was pretty okay. He just needed a LOT of help transitioning into the outside world for those first few months. I seriously would be much happier for someone to hand me their fussy baby & let me soothe them than to listen (or read) about them letting them CIO. My Ds is easy going now....I didn't make him high needs, he just was that way. Today - not so much & I also didn't have to make him "suck it up" for him to learn that he doesn't need me every second to be happy - it just happened in time & development.

I think if moms could get past some of our cultural norms (like swings) and realize that baby wearing & cosleeping aren't "bad habits" to form, they would make things a whole lot easier on themselves.
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Last edited by beck12; April 8th, 2009 at 08:36 PM.
  #6  
April 8th, 2009, 09:44 PM
blondie-lox's Avatar Do NOT feed the Troll
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That's sad you can't enjoy your DDC.
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  #7  
April 8th, 2009, 09:59 PM
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  #8  
April 9th, 2009, 12:27 AM
KatiesGirls
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Im sorry
  #9  
April 9th, 2009, 07:10 AM
Beaker's Avatar My boys are adorable
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We had a couple as well. Things were heated for a couple of months after the babies were born. I think hormones were partly to blame. I just ignore those threads.
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  #10  
April 9th, 2009, 07:28 AM
Gina1978's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thats the ONLY thing I really dont like about PRs.Whilst all the girls are pregnant,its great! But once babies start to arrive and the weeks pass,you suddenly have to see posts that make you cringe...and the worst part is,you find yourself feeling angry at girls that you got on great with just weeks before.It happens in ALL playrooms.

Iv read a few of those CIO posts in my own playroom and as of now,I steer clear of any thread that I think Im not going to like or agree with,because it upsets me and I end up getting worked up about something someone else did thousands and thousands of miles from me.

I am SO against CIO that reading about it actually makes me angry and puts me in a bad mood,which doesnt go away even after I step away from the computer.
I hate seeing others cheering it on and giving advice about how to "ignore" the baby..that the mom should "hang in there" or "stick to her guns".
I dont understand it.I hear my baby cry and my heart races..its impossible for me to relax or do anything unless she stops.I thought all moms had that emotional/physical reaction to their babies cries,which is why I honestly dont get how any woman can just let her baby scream and walk away.I just couldent do it,Id have a meltdown!
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  #11  
April 9th, 2009, 07:37 AM
Mountain~Mama's Avatar ThePastHasNoPowerOverMe
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I'm sorry that it's started already in your PR. It's just so sad that people feel that cio is the answer.

Becky - I agree with everything you said and you said it so well.
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  #12  
April 9th, 2009, 08:10 AM
Michigan Momma's Avatar Just Chillin'
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I've noticed that about pr's to, I just have to pass the threads by and ignore them, I think if I didn't I would probably have something pretty nasty to say about CIO and I don't think people would like me to much afterwards.
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  #13  
April 9th, 2009, 08:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gina1978 View Post
I dont understand it.I hear my baby cry and my heart races..its impossible for me to relax or do anything unless she stops.I thought all moms had that emotional/physical reaction to their babies cries,which is why I honestly dont get how any woman can just let her baby scream and walk away.I just couldent do it,Id have a meltdown!
OMG, me too! I was starting to feel like a freak - most women I know are NOT like that and keep telling me that something is wrong with me for feeling that way.
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  #14  
April 9th, 2009, 09:26 AM
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I'm so sorry

I always stand up for babies with mama's like that. I don't care if it makes me out to be a belief pusher... Especially for babies that little

I just feel so sad right now, those babies are under 1 month old!!!!! They just came out of a belly and now they are being left to CIO??? They must be so scared

I'd say something
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  #15  
April 9th, 2009, 09:32 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
I think if moms could get past some of our cultural norms (like swings) and realize that baby wearing & cosleeping aren't "bad habits" to form, they would make things a whole lot easier on themselves.
I disagree. I think you can be AP and use swings and things like that. It doesn't have to be all babywearing and co-sleeping all the time. I held ds all the time when he was a baby. There were times when nothing would settle him down. I put him in his swing and he was so happy. A new swing was one of the first things I purchased when I got pregnant this time. Even though we do babywear and co-sleep, I remember how much I needed some moments of no baby hanging off of me and how well it worked for our baby. If you don't like swings, fine, don't use them, but understand that for some they are valuable and it doesn't make anyone less AP for using them and babywearing and co-sleeping don't always make things easier.
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  #16  
April 9th, 2009, 09:38 AM
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I think what she meant was that holding your baby and co sleeping aren't bad habits like so many moms think they are, so they avoid those 2 things. If they would just pick up their baby when baby cried, or cosleep those nights when baby has trouble falling asleep - their lives would be so much easier...rather than fighting nature.

BTW - I said something in that CIO thread in the DDC. I don't know if it was the right one, I am guessing it is, but I just had to say something. Hope it doesn't come back to bite me.
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  #17  
April 9th, 2009, 09:47 AM
KatiesGirls
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gina1978 View Post
Thats the ONLY thing I really dont like about PRs.Whilst all the girls are pregnant,its great! But once babies start to arrive and the weeks pass,you suddenly have to see posts that make you cringe...and the worst part is,you find yourself feeling angry at girls that you got on great with just weeks before.It happens in ALL playrooms.

Iv read a few of those CIO posts in my own playroom and as of now,I steer clear of any thread that I think Im not going to like or agree with,because it upsets me and I end up getting worked up about something someone else did thousands and thousands of miles from me.

I am SO against CIO that reading about it actually makes me angry and puts me in a bad mood,which doesnt go away even after I step away from the computer.
I hate seeing others cheering it on and giving advice about how to "ignore" the baby..that the mom should "hang in there" or "stick to her guns".

I dont understand it.I hear my baby cry and my heart races..its impossible for me to relax or do anything unless she stops.I thought all moms had that emotional/physical reaction to their babies cries,which is why I honestly dont get how any woman can just let her baby scream and walk away.I just couldent do it,Id have a meltdown!
I could have written the bolded part myself. I never knew that cio was even an option for moms anymore and it was a sad day when my PR started talking about cio and how wonderful it is to get your baby to sleep a few months back. I had no idea what I was getting into.

I think that it's a hard lesson to learn that the world has lots of well intended bad advice to offer a new mom. I think that is the only reason that traditional parenting is popular, because new moms go against their instincts to mother, but they have results they like better so they just carry along the notion that it's the right thing to do to the next mom. It's sad.

I don't know how I ended up AP I just always assumed everyone was.
  #18  
April 9th, 2009, 05:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My~Loves View Post
There have already been two CIO threads. I'm over it.
Hi, Im from your DDC, and Im an avid lurker here. I love so much so many of the attachment parenting principles, but there is also a lot I can not agree with. Still, Im not going to stop things (like not continue to visit this particular board) because one or two things turn me off. That's corny. I dont know, I think I just feel sad that you find it too difficult to continue to 'hang out' with us, because of other people's parenting styles. We're all different, in more ways than one, and that's what makes the community of mothers so amazing, that we can all learn from each other, and lean on each other when things get rough. I guess thats why I feel a bit bothered to see such a close nit community like this particular group of women pointing fingers at certain moms because of how they're choosing to cope. A lot of these moms are first time moms, just 'learning the ropes'. Instead of attacking, we should aim to support, and not kick while she's down.

To add, if you guys read the post, its not about a mom who just wants to let her baby CIO for the hell of it, or to train her baby. The mom is just overwhelmed and tired. Her baby seems to be very fussy and needy, and mom just wanted to know if she could put the baby down for a bit while she cried. Read the post yourselves. It wasnt a 'horrible CIO post'.

Back to 'My Loves', I dont know, I think as a DDC we have a really good thing going. We're all pretty supportive of each other, or at least it seems, we're active and interactive, share stories and ideas openly. I dont see much wrong. Hey, but it was fun having you around. Sorry to see you go. You were a cool member

So yeah, hi, Im a lurker, out of lurkdom. Im Nori

Last edited by Melianna; April 10th, 2009 at 05:53 AM.
  #19  
April 9th, 2009, 05:42 PM
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I see what you mean Melianna but to some of us CIO just really hits our nerves. especially with babies as young as babies in your DDC. Even most traditional parenting friends/people I know don't make their 4 week old CIO. Sorry, but that is sad.
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  #20  
April 9th, 2009, 05:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by baby-B's♥mama View Post
I see what you mean Melianna but to some of us CIO just really hits our nerves. especially with babies as young as babies in your DDC. Even most traditional parenting friends/people I know don't make their 4 week old CIO. Sorry, but that is sad.
Of course its sad to see a young newborn cry, but on the other hand, lets be up front. There are a lot of women who dont have great patience, and some realize it, once they have children. With that said. I think a baby put down to cry, while mom walks away for a bit, is better than having a overly stressed out mom, holding a crying/screaming baby. What can happen? The baby can be shaken, the baby can be thrown, hit against the wall. Its the brutal truth. Stuff like that happens. I rather encourage a young, frustrated mom to put her baby down, than ask that she 'just hold the baby' through the screaming. That method is just not for everyone, like CIO is not for everyone. And that's where I think the support needs to come in.
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