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My dad was a single father and raised me from day one by himself. My dad also was raising my brother who is 4 years older then me. I was a very sick baby and he was told not to get to attached to me because I wouldn't make it more then likely. When the let him take me home for many weeks he feed me with a straw a little bit at a time round the clock.
My dad I think did the best he could.... He had to work alot but we were always with my grandparents and not strangers. My dad started a business right after I was born because he knew as a machinist in the oil field industry he would need a stable job...me and my brother both work for him now as adults so it supports the whole family. If he had to work on Saturday's we would go with him once I was old enough.
We did get spanked...but I only remember 2 times and it was major things...once me and my brother lied to my grandparents about breaking a screen on a window...we told them a squrill did it...lol the other time I don't remember what it was for.
Other then that I remeber my dad being a very gentle loving father who really tried to make sure we were okay. He taught us that money doesn't make you happy...family does. That you can make a little go along way. My dad cloth diapered me to save money just like I am doing for my kids.
His parenting has influenced me in the way I parent/will parent a lot actually. I know never to give up on your kids...they may suprise you. I know not to listen to doctors just because they are "doctors". I know that I am my kids only voice and I know them better then anyone else in this world right now. I will raise my kids to know that money doesn't make you happy...that things don't make you happy. And also that you shouldn't try to be your kids friend when they are young....that that will come when they are older.
My dad support me in that he knows I will do the right thing...also he knows that listening to your kids is the way to go.
My dad is my best friend. I call him for advice on everything. I love him and will never forget how he didn't give up on me when all the doctors thought it was hopeless and my own mother gave up.
I just have to say I loved reading your post Nichole. Your father sounds like a wonderful man.
I honestly don't remember much about my childhood. I remember my mom leaving us (my dad, brothers, and I) to run off with some boyfriend to Texas. I didn't talk to her for many many years. I was also raised by my dad and my grandmas. They were more "traditional" in their way of parenting. We did get spanked too but I can only remember getting it once. I think I am the way I am with my kids because of what my mom did to us. It was hard and even though we've made a mends, I guess it still is. I don't EVER want my kids to feel the way my brothers and I felt.
I enjoyed your post too Nichole. Made me think of my grandfather a bit. I've mentioned before, while I am all for AP, its where the heart is that matters most. My grandparents wouldnt have been able to tick off all the AP boxes, it wasnt the way things were done then, but I still admire them and strive to be like them in many ways. Likewise being able to tick every box, doesnt make you a great parent if its not done out of love. The crucial underlying factor is love, or the attachment between paretn and child, not how you go about it.
I'm not sure my Mother used a style. She BF until I was 6 months. I slept in my crib but I don't think she ever used CIO with me. I would not say she was AP. However, she supports my parenting style for the most part. She does make way too many comments about Oliver sleeping in bed with me. She always says that he should be in his own bed. I also get the feeling that she doesn't think BF is good past a certain age. I think once Oliver is over 1 year old she may start making comments about that too. I have told her I plan to go longer than a year.
I wanted to add that my brother and I did get spanked. That is something I do not plan to do. I don't think it's right to hit out of anger.
Last edited by Resi; April 30th, 2009 at 07:54 AM.
I also enjoyed reading your post Nicole. What a wonderful man your dad must be.
My parents were young and not ready to grow up. Don't get me wrong they did a great job for what they knew about being a parent. I think back now about my childhood and I think that they loved us, but we were more of an obligation to them then anything. Both of my parents had a short fuse and it didn't take much to tick them off. I'm not close to my parents. In fact they have never met Emma, which I am sad about. What do you do. It has influenced the way that I have chosen to raise my LO. I don't want her to feel the way I felt as a child.
As a truck driver, my dad was seldom around, which was probably good because he had an anger problem (though he was never abusive). My mom did AP without good boundaries. She talks about it a lot and really encourages us to AP her grankids but WITH boundaries.
She BF each of us (I'm the oldest of 6) until she got pg with the next. My brother, the youngest, was still bfing at 3. She slept with each of us until the next was born. My bro slept with her and dad til he was 11.
My mom 'gets' kids. She feels like she has never met a child that wasn't 'hers'. Not sure if that makes sense.
I really love my parents and have a great relationship with both of them. They are both very willing to talk about how they screwed up raising us, in hopes that we can do better.
My parents were very TP with me. I was FF and in a crib around 6 weeks. They used the CIO and stuff a binky in her mouth method with me. I also never knew what the heck was going on when I was growing up because they never explained anything to me. Ugh.
Sadly I am not close to my mom at all I shared a room with my older sister and I bonded more to her because she was the one my parents made lay with me and soothe me when I couldn't sleep or was sick.