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For me it's not imposing my will on my child for stupid reasons.
For example, if I want my oldest daughter to wear the purple dress rather than the green one she wants to wear, just because the green one is handwash only.
Or making my child respond to a stranger's greeting when she doesn't want to, just because I want people to think she's friendly or whatever.
On safety issues I have no problem telling my child what to do. Running out on the road is forbidden at our house.
What's hard is the grey areas: Is balancing on the arm of the couch a safety issue? Is eating nothing but candy or watching TV all day a health issue? I really have to ask, why I am putting my will on her - is it a valid reason or a stupid one.
I think when parents try to control their children too much it squashes who they are.
Belief in baby's criesandbreastfeeding, that is one right? Lol. Cant really make up my mind between those two. It makes sense to me that when a baby is crying that it is their way of communicating. They arent just crying to annoy people around them. As for breastfeeding, no amount of studies is going to change my mind, I will not believe that anything is better for a baby than what has been tailormade for them for thousands of years.
Hvor er toalettet? Skal vi danse? Gratulerer med fødselsdagen Luftputefartøyet mitt er fullt av ål Ett språk er aldri nok
Not CIO is a biggie for me. Breastfeeding is something I'm passionate about as well. Mainly it's following THEIR cues for what they are ready for and not trying to mold them into what I think they should be doing.
~Beth~ Wife to my Airman Chris, and mommy to: Anthony Nathaniel (8/31/04), Anastasia Fae (8/01/06), Baby C (lost on 10/12/07), David Cillian (7/31/08), Charles George (4/29/10), and Alan Christopher (2/22/12)
I couldnt pick one. I love cosleeping and will definately miss it when they are too big.
I feel strongly about all the other basics too, but I think what matters most to me is the attachment itself. I want my children to always feel loved and respected, and to be able have a secure base in our love and support. I dont know if I can quite find the right words for it, even love just doesnt seem to cover it.
Definitely breastfeeding and CIO. Breastfeeding is just amazing and natural and SO wonderful for mom and baby, I just can't see why anyone would not be at least willing to try. As for CIO, it just feels SO unnatural I just can't imagine doing it. I don't look down upon those who do, but I think about the fact that I wouldn't leave anyone else crying and walk away (my husband, mom, sister, friend, etc.) so why would I leave my baby crying and walk away? I just can't do it.
I really feel very strongly about being gentle with your child... I HATE it when i am at the playground and i hear parents yelling at their kids for whatever reason... I very strongly believe that explaining the reason behind what you do or dont want your child to do is key.. there have been countless times when layla has started to throw a fit for something and ive been able to just say "layla, calm down, and let me explain".. then after she calms down i can tell her why and she GENERALLY responds very well and is ok with whatever it was.. there have been times that she still wants whatever it is.. but thats when i just try to explain it again.. and then just stick to my guns..
NOW i have two GIRLS.. and i think that is HUGE.. i have friends who have boys and they try to do the SAME thing and it doesnt work at all.. But i still think that if i had boys i would make a huge effort to find a gentle way of working with my child.. it might be different from what works with layla, but its better than screaming at them for something that a simple explanation would work for..
~Em, Married to Matt since 7/3/04. Mommy to Layla 3/29/06, Eva 10/18/08, Zeke 2/4/11, and Jonah 7/28/13