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Is CIO ever okay?


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  #1  
May 1st, 2009, 02:11 PM
KatiesGirls
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Is CIO ever okay? Is there an age you feel is more appropriate?

Last edited by KatiesGirls; May 1st, 2009 at 02:37 PM.
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  #2  
May 1st, 2009, 02:15 PM
mamatomaica's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think it is. Even when Maica throws a royal tantrum i'm with her, and when she comes through the other side i can hug her. I would never leave her to cry until she fell asleep, i'm am always with her, so she always goes to sleep calmly in the end with the boob or being held.
Shes too precious to just be left to deal with emotions shes not understanding. I want her to know that i will always be there nomatter what..and it starts when shes small.
xx
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  #3  
May 1st, 2009, 02:47 PM
KatiesGirls
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Wrong thread! Oops

*edit
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  #4  
May 1st, 2009, 02:49 PM
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I think that CIO is okay if you think that you might hurt/shake your baby. My DS was super-needy, colicky baby and he really pushed me to my limits. I HATE that he had to cry in his crib for 5 minutes the odd time, but I really felt like if I didn't get out of the room and recollect myself, I would have done something insanely stupid.

There is a lot of pressure to not let your baby CIO but I have been to the bottom and back and I can tell you, good parents have fleeting thoughts of TOSSING their kid!
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  #5  
May 1st, 2009, 02:55 PM
mamatomaica's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think taking time out to regather yourself is different from CIO, where you intentionaly leave them to cry. Sometimes babies are hard work and you get to the end of you tether, but giving yourslf five minutes because you're afraid you'll lose it is okay.
xx
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  #6  
May 1st, 2009, 04:10 PM
Gina1978's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think its OK in certain circumstances once the child is about 2+ years old.My kids went through the terrible twos lol,and sometimes they´d cry because they wanted something they honestly couldent have (an expensive toy,not to go to bed,refusing to eat a certain something etc).
Once they hit that age and they could actually say "Im crying because I want...",then sometimes,Id have to let them cry.They´d never do it for long.
They´d always got a hug and an explination,and I never let them just sit there alone.

As for CIO at bedtime,Id NEVER do that no matter how old.
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  #7  
May 1st, 2009, 06:29 PM
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I don't think it's appropriate ever, unless you are going to harm your child. In which case it's best if you step out, regroup, and step back in.
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  #8  
May 1st, 2009, 06:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amelie View Post
I think taking time out to regather yourself is different from CIO, where you intentionaly leave them to cry. Sometimes babies are hard work and you get to the end of you tether, but giving yourslf five minutes because you're afraid you'll lose it is okay.
xx
I totally agree, I found myself in this situation due to having virtually no outside help or support. Now that we're on the other side I can see that it wasn't really CIO.
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  #9  
May 1st, 2009, 06:51 PM
ItalySarah's Avatar Proud Attached Mommy
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i think after a certain age letting them cry b/c of behavior is ok. I know that with my children when they get mad at me and throw a fit b/c they are not getting their way, i tell them they can cry away from me. Most of the time they are only doing it for attention and stop immediately.
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  #10  
May 2nd, 2009, 03:34 AM
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CIO alone or with someone? I could never leave mine to CIO alone ( other then my many trips to the loo). Billy was thought to have had colick and at times I walked the floor for hours with him crying or whimpering, I did everything I could, but I couldnt stop him crying, all I could do was comfort him. We found out later he was very ill and suffering at these times, I thank God at least I never left him to suffer alone.
Also when he got older, we had some a few nights where he wanted to get up and play in the middle of the night. I would walk him, nurse him, rub his back etc... but I would not get up and play, so sometimes he ahd to cry for a bit, but never alone.
I do agree if a mother feels she might harm the child its best to leave them somewhere safe and regroup, and to think about seeking help.
But I also wonder what mothers with multiples do, what if 3 are crying their eyes at once?
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  #11  
May 3rd, 2009, 07:43 AM
Alissa&Isabelle'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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No, since I've read research that it stress them out and is bad for their brains. They're learning trust vs. mistrust. It would bother me to leave baby to cry. I have friends though that CIO however....
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  #12  
May 3rd, 2009, 09:18 AM
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I think its okay for my 5 yr old to cry while she's on time out. She will misbehave and then we put her on time out, she HATES time out, and she screams her head off, but she is crying to get our attention and get out of her punishment, and that would teach her that she can do what she wants without consequences. I think its okay to let her cry because she knows what's going on. I will explain to her, she is having a 5 minute time out, why she is on time out, and I still love her and when she is done we will talk about what happened. I'm usually in the same room or the next room over when she is on time out. Now if she is crying for any other reason I am right there with her, no matter what. My son Lincoln, never cries alone or CIO, and he won't.
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  #13  
May 3rd, 2009, 12:16 PM
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I think its different with older children too. If a child is hurt or needs comfort is one thing, if they are just crying because they cant have something or do something and they are old enough to understand speech I think its ok to let them cry, but a babys wants are basically needs and they dont understand so I could never leave one to cry to alone.
That said sometimes the little one does have to wait a moment for the older child too, its a tough balancing act, but I think you have to go to who needs you most at that moment.
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  #14  
May 4th, 2009, 12:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie-lox View Post
I think its okay for my 5 yr old to cry while she's on time out. She will misbehave and then we put her on time out, she HATES time out, and she screams her head off, but she is crying to get our attention and get out of her punishment, and that would teach her that she can do what she wants without consequences. I think its okay to let her cry because she knows what's going on. I will explain to her, she is having a 5 minute time out, why she is on time out, and I still love her and when she is done we will talk about what happened. I'm usually in the same room or the next room over when she is on time out. Now if she is crying for any other reason I am right there with her, no matter what. My son Lincoln, never cries alone or CIO, and he won't.
My almost 4yo DD is the same way.

I also agree that stepping away from a crying baby for a "mom break" is not CIO. Parenting is tough and sometime you need to regroup so you can be a better parent. If you are angry and tense your baby will just pick up on that.
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