Log In Sign Up

Bed-sharing and sex


Forum: Attachment Parenting

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Attachment Parenting LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
May 6th, 2009, 12:56 PM
Zoostergirl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 7,840
Sorry if this is TMI. Okay, we've been bedsharing with our DD since she was born over 3 months ago. It is really putting a damper on our sex life. We've managed to DTD all of three times, twice were in locations other than our bed. But it sort of takes too much planning and timing for that (we have two older kids too).

So, do you think it is okay to have sex when the baby is in bed with you (sleeping)?
__________________





















Reply With Quote
  #2  
May 6th, 2009, 01:01 PM
KatiesGirls
Guest
Posts: n/a
We don't.

We just have had to be more creative and opportunistic. We still have her bassinet in our room, and we will put her in that Sometimes if she falls asleep downstairs and her sister is already asleep too, we will lay her down and run up while we have the chance to have the room to ourselves
Reply With Quote
  #3  
May 6th, 2009, 01:11 PM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 28,941
Send a message via AIM to BoobyDutyAgainJen
We have done it. It isn't exactly the best for mood but if they are sleeping and there is no threat to them waking up I don't see much harm.

We do try to get more creative and now that we live with his mom we tend to try to take the few minutes her nana has Leila and sneak away.
__________________

Thanks *Kiliki* for the precious siggy!



Reply With Quote
  #4  
May 6th, 2009, 02:40 PM
oriel13's Avatar Tishauna
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 6,250
I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I can't though, I'm not able to stop thinking about waking him up enough to enjoy anything. His pack and play is next to our bed, most nights he starts out in there anyway before getting in bed with us. So we take advantage of that first hour or two when the mood strikes.
__________________



Reply With Quote
  #5  
May 6th, 2009, 03:54 PM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 15,851
We have done it with him in the bed sleeping. We once put him in his bassinet just so we could DTD and he ended up screaming at the worst time. Sex still isn't as comfortable as it was for me, so relaxing is important and having him anywhere but in bed is stressful for me.
__________________
Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (22) Amanda (19) Matthew ( 4) and Daniel (3).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (23) and Krista (20)
step-grandma to: Wesley (3), Rosemarie (7 months)



On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon. He was our 7th loss
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. She was our 8th loss Her pictures can be viewed at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahdarrohn
There is no known explanation for my losses.

Reply With Quote
  #6  
May 6th, 2009, 06:28 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 904
The baby swing.And the couch....my 2 best friends during the many months A was in our bed.

Avery and I bedshare now and DH has the Momma Dadda bed so when Momma wants TDTD I just go to sleep in there and DH knows when he comes in at night what is expected of him (LOL).
Reply With Quote
  #7  
May 6th, 2009, 07:13 PM
blondie-lox's Avatar Do NOT feed the Troll
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: ON, Canada
Posts: 16,621
I second a swing! They are great for giving you some time with your DH!
__________________

Huge thanks to *Kiliki* for the FANTABULOUS new siggy!!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
May 6th, 2009, 08:25 PM
(.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.)
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoostergirl View Post
Sorry if this is TMI. Okay, we've been bedsharing with our DD since she was born over 3 months ago. It is really putting a damper on our sex life. We've managed to DTD all of three times, twice were in locations other than our bed. But it sort of takes too much planning and timing for that (we have two older kids too).

So, do you think it is okay to have sex when the baby is in bed with you (sleeping)?
Do what you feel comfortable with hon.. Can I use this thread to brag I so DTD in the kitchen last night?
Reply With Quote
  #9  
May 6th, 2009, 09:25 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 26,363
We haven't but for me it would just kind of kill the mood to have her right there, lol She also wakes up when we get into bed most nights, so I can't imagine we could get away with it without waking.

Don't feel bad, Anna's a month older and we've DTD only twice since she's been born, both times in the shower.
__________________
Andrea, mom to 3 beautiful girls - Abigail (8) Annabelle (5) and Alexis (3)

Expecting baby #4 - It's a BOY!



Reply With Quote
  #10  
May 6th, 2009, 10:29 PM
Miracle's Avatar ♥ Melissa ♥
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 39,274
We have-- I don't think there has been a time where she wasn't in her co-sleeper or on the bed! Lol- is that horrible?!
__________________






Reply With Quote
  #11  
May 6th, 2009, 10:59 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 19,074
We haven't. We have while she's been in the room though, just not in the bed. My parents live with us, so we can't exactly go wild in the rest of the house either. It gets interesting trying to get together to DTD sometimes!
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #12  
May 7th, 2009, 12:19 AM
KatiesGirls
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by (.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.) View Post
Do what you feel comfortable with hon.. Can I use this thread to brag I so DTD in the kitchen last night?
Brown chicken brown cow!!!!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
May 7th, 2009, 05:15 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
I actually think 3 times in basically 6 weeks (because the y recommend waiting 6 weeks anyway) is actually ahead of the game that early on compared to MOST couples PP - even those that don't bed share - so don't feel too bad about that. Of course there are some that are having more sex, but at that point we hadn't even had sex yet & we weren't even bed sharing at that point - LOL. I did have extensive tearing though & lots of pain (figured out much later that I had in fact broke my tailbone - so that is probably a lot of it)...but anyway. I think you find your way. Hang in there & do what works for you. We havent' DTD with him in bed, but neither of us have felt we could truly relax, although we both have said we don't see anything wrong with it - I just think it isn't for us.

Good luck!


P.Sp WTG Michelle!

I actually think 3 times in basically 6 weeks (because the y recommend waiting 6 weeks anyway) is actually ahead of the game that early on compared to MOST couples PP - even those that don't bed share - so don't feel too bad about that. Of course there are some that are having more sex, but at that point we hadn't even had sex yet & we weren't even bed sharing at that point - LOL. I did have extensive tearing though & lots of pain (figured out much later that I had in fact broke my tailbone - so that is probably a lot of it)...but anyway. I think you find your way. Hang in there & do what works for you. We havent' DTD with him in bed, but neither of us have felt we could truly relax, although we both have said we don't see anything wrong with it - I just think it isn't for us.

Good luck!


P.Sp WTG Michelle!
__________________
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




Reply With Quote
  #14  
May 7th, 2009, 08:47 AM
MilkyJo's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: UK, Berkshire
Posts: 203
I don't think there is anything wrong with it so long as you're comfortable with the idea.

And like others said already, don't feel bad about the slow sex life (not that I consider it slow). Ben is 8 months and we haven't DTD once yet, it's still too physically painful for me Suppose I should go to the doctor really, just hate the thought of it.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #15  
May 7th, 2009, 09:03 AM
*Jack'sMommy*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 3,095
LOL I have been wondering how co-sleeping parents manage sex! Chris got back from Iraq two weeks ago and we have yet to do it. Not by his choice of course, I'm just too nervous with Jack right there because I know he will wake up! He does start his night in his PnP next to the bed before we go to bed. I'm just scared to have sex because I'm afraid it's going to hurt becaues it's been SO long.

Okay, I officially win the worst wife ever award. I'm lucky my husband loves me!!!
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #16  
May 7th, 2009, 09:14 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Iowa
Posts: 5,286
We do it with him in bed with us...all the time. As long as he's asleep it doesn't really bother me. He sleeps on my side of the bed and DBF just kind of spoons me. It works! And it has to...lol. We're living with my parents for the time being so we can't get too crazy. I think that if co-sleeping interfered with our sex life too much DBF would be pushing for me to get him to sleep in his crib.
__________________



[IMG]h ttp://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc187/kellybabe05/natural2.gif[/IMG]
Reply With Quote
  #17  
May 11th, 2009, 06:58 AM
mamatomaica's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: west sussex, england
Posts: 5,686
Send a message via MSN to mamatomaica
we shuffle maica over into the sidecar. so i guess we do it all the time with her there next to us! as long as shes sleeping its fine. shes woken up once and it killed the mood completely!! but otherwise its been fine!
__________________



Beautiful Siggy by Claire!
Reply With Quote
  #18  
May 11th, 2009, 09:01 AM
M&RsMom's Avatar Mama to silly boys
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Concord, NH
Posts: 14,002
Send a message via AIM to M&RsMom
We've done it with him the bed when he was younger, now he is in a sidecar toddler bed so I don't worry about it....he can't sleep through anything.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #19  
May 11th, 2009, 10:04 AM
Resi's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 14,588
Quote:
Originally Posted by *Jack'sMommy* View Post
LOL I have been wondering how co-sleeping parents manage sex! Chris got back from Iraq two weeks ago and we have yet to do it. Not by his choice of course, I'm just too nervous with Jack right there because I know he will wake up! He does start his night in his PnP next to the bed before we go to bed. I'm just scared to have sex because I'm afraid it's going to hurt becaues it's been SO long.

Okay, I officially win the worst wife ever award. I'm lucky my husband loves me!!!
It did hurt for me the first few times. We have sex on the sofa. It's easier that way. I would not be able to do it with Oliver next to me. I would be too worried about him waking up or something.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #20  
May 12th, 2009, 07:05 AM
~Nik*Re~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 4,954
We've tried putting her in the crib, which is sidecarred, but neither one of us could enjoy it b/c we were too afraid of waking her up.
We still have her swing in our room so we put her in there when I get her to fall asleep.
With the other kids we just let them fall asleep in the living room and we run upstairs. DH is only home on weekends so we don't have to worry about it much.
We have taken it to the shower a few times during the day. Marienah like to sit in her high chair in the bathroom and play with her toys.
__________________
Thank you Jaidynsmum!

Check out my FB page for cute Boutique Stuff for Boys and Girls

Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:58 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0