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"You HAVE to be consistent"


Forum: Attachment Parenting

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  #1  
May 11th, 2009, 12:05 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 904
So what do you think? I'm talking about in terms of discipline.
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  #2  
May 11th, 2009, 12:56 PM
Zoostergirl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 7,840
At a certain age, yes. I have to remind my 18 month old everytime not to touch the baby's face, for example. But my 3 year old is capable of understanding why sometimes rules adjust to different circumstances.
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  #3  
May 11th, 2009, 02:11 PM
KatiesGirls
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I agree only to an extent. If Julie is doing something that is dangerous, like throwing things towards her sister, or standing on a table we are consistent on teaching what is right and wrong. Everything else is a case by case basis. Sometimes she won't get what she wants when she is whining, but sometimes she will. It depends on everything else going on in her day and keeping in mind that her emotions can get the best of her just as easily as my own can. Most of the time she whines is when she is tired so we don't make it an act of congress to have a snack when we know she is already not feeling 100%
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  #4  
May 11th, 2009, 02:14 PM
blondie-lox's Avatar Do NOT feed the Troll
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Location: ON, Canada
Posts: 16,621
I agree for "MY" 5 yr old. It's the only way with her. I think it all depends on the child.
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  #5  
May 11th, 2009, 04:05 PM
ItalySarah's Avatar Proud Attached Mommy
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Location: North Carolina
Posts: 11,465
for me it really helps us in my home
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  #6  
May 11th, 2009, 08:05 PM
KimberlyD0
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I agree compleatly. Especially when they start to test the limits. You have to have firm, but fair expectations for them, and you have to follow though each time with however you decide to correct a behaviour. Inconsistency leads to confusion for children, especially young children. As they grow they do learn that things change, and some situations are not the same, but that takes time.
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  #7  
May 12th, 2009, 05:46 AM
~Nik*Re~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 4,954
I am the most inconsistent person in the world.
I'm always telling them one thing (ie. they're not going to be able to do this or that if they keep getting in trouble) but then I feel bad if one or two of them don't get to participate and I usually end up letting it slide.
I do feel strongly that if I'm more consistent with their punishments I wouldn't have such a hard time dealing with my oldest (almost 10) and my 7 year old is start to push limits too.
It's just SO hard and it breaks my heart when they're crying and feeling left out.
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  #8  
May 13th, 2009, 06:34 AM
10x_A_Mommy's Avatar formerly mom_of_8
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 7,711
I think that yes you do have to be consistent in the method you find that works for you and your child.
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  #9  
May 13th, 2009, 08:23 AM
broxi3781's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: belfast, northern ireland
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I am very constitent ---- sometimes
Some things I class as very important or dangerous I am completely consistent on. Others I take on a case by case basis and rules can usually be broken with a valid reason.
I generally will not cook after about 9 pm, so if a child wants a snack, it has to be something like yogurt, fruit, toast or cereal. If we've been out and not come home until late though, or a child has been ill and not eating for a few days, its worth breaking the rule. Thats my attitude for everything not dangerous or cruel , it just depends on the circumstances.
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  #10  
May 15th, 2009, 06:44 AM
Mountain~Mama's Avatar ThePastHasNoPowerOverMe
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Location: Maine
Posts: 24,476
I think it's important and it's something I am working on.
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  #11  
May 15th, 2009, 07:27 AM
~*Kixs*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Texas
Posts: 12,854
I think it is very important! But it is sooooo hard. My almost 4yo is in the whinning stage and I am doing my best to teach her that stomping her feet and whinning will not get her what she wants. But for the love of Mike when I have a crying baby, headache, dinner to cook, and a whinning pre-schooler sometimes I just give in to get some peace! And man o man does it come back to bite me in the butt. Being a parent is hard
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  #12  
May 17th, 2009, 09:05 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Minnesota
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I think being consistent is important.
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