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  #1  
July 22nd, 2009, 10:30 AM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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While at the hospital, we had a lot of issues with certain nurses and my parenting. First, I am strongly opposed to CIO, especially since Joey's LCH is in his lungs and who knows what damage has been done to his lungs. So I never left the room if Joey was awake unless he had a volunteer with him or family, but I did leave for fresh air, the first day I had to leave to eat, and when the kids were there I had to leave for short times to get them some air and exercise. It was a fine balancing act.

So, Joey was on Contact Isolation because of a positive MRSA test 3 months ago (he's been negative since). The nurses wanted me to wear the isolation gloves, mask, and gown. Problem was that Joey became inconsolable the moment I put those on. I think it put me in the same category as the staff and volunteers. So I refused to, and had to agree not to use any of the hospital facilities (cafeteria, parent shower, resource room, etc...). I do understand they have to protect everyone, but I had to do what was best for Joey. I'm thinking next time if he is ever on isolation again, I could bring a long gown that he is familiar with and offer to wear that in place of their isolation gowns while in the room and take it off when leaving. Does this sound like a good compromise?

Then of course because I wasn't allowed to use the cafeteria, the first day I had to walk across the street to get food. I waited until Joey was asleep to leave. I told his nurse, they promised to keep a close eye on him. Apparently 5 minutes after I left he woke up, and according to another parent a nurse walked up, closed his door, and walked away. This parent tells me he screamed for 25 minutes. This was the day he had 1 on 1 nursing, so there is NO excuse. Nurse told me "crying can be good for him." I wanted to beat her, instead I never left that long again, and never at all when she was his nurse. Any suggestions on how to explain to the nurses if this comes up again that they cannot just close the door and let him scream (and he wasn't on any monitors at that time either so they had no way of knowing if something was wrong). Any articles you would suggest that would show that CIO is not healthy for him?

Finally, When Joey doesn't feel well he co-sleeps at home. So of course, he co-sleeps at the hospital when he wants to. I got a lot of lectures from staff for this. Its never been an issue with previous hospitalizations, so I don't get why it was this time. I've always told them that they can do what needs to be done (vitals, etc...) and I am more than willing to get up and help with this so that he can stay comfortable. But other than 1 nurse who was great, all the other nurses tried to make me leave him in the crib to sleep, which he wasn't sleeping much in the crib. Any ideas on how to express our belief in co-sleeping while still making sure they can do their jobs?
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  #2  
July 22nd, 2009, 10:48 AM
keekopeeko's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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i dont have many suggestions.. just wanted to say that it totally sucks that on top of everything you have to deal with hospital staff that arent respecting the way you parent!

im more the sort of person that would just want to tell them to stuff it.. haha.. But really he needs sleep and if hes not sleeping in the crib i would think they would understand you dont care how it happens, you just want him to be able to sleep.

i hope things get better and the nurses respond well to whatever CIO articles and co-sleeping stuff you present to them

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  #3  
July 23rd, 2009, 07:11 AM
broxi3781's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I dont know what to tell you either. I got so much grief from nurses over no cio, co sleeping, breastfeeding on demand, etc and that was for only 36 hours after a c section before I left!
I know you wont want to antagonise them because you are stuck there much longer, and as far as CIO, I dont think many will see comforting a child as part of their job, they just see to medical and physical care, and many I think have to cut themselves off emotionally from their patients. For truly caring nurses, pediatric wards take a very heavy toll.
As far as co sleeping, i would listen to their lectures and ignore their advice. If they insist I would ask for it in writing, explaining that you believe they are causing unnessesary stress to be added to the child, which may worsen his condition, and of course should anything go wrong you would be forced to file a claim to protect future patients, but you are willing to sign a release of liability for any dangers, real or imaginary caused by co sleeping. If they feel stress has no relationship to disease, you want that in writinga s well.
I really think co sleeping is so much more important in your circumstances as I'm sure the comfort and reassurance of you being right next to him must really help.
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  #4  
July 23rd, 2009, 09:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by broxi3781 View Post
I know you wont want to antagonise them because you are stuck there much longer, and as far as CIO, I dont think many will see comforting a child as part of their job, they just see to medical and physical care, and many I think have to cut themselves off emotionally from their patients. For truly caring nurses, pediatric wards take a very heavy toll.
As far as co sleeping, i would listen to their lectures and ignore their advice. If they insist I would ask for it in writing, explaining that you believe they are causing unnessesary stress to be added to the child, which may worsen his condition, and of course should anything go wrong you would be forced to file a claim to protect future patients, but you are willing to sign a release of liability for any dangers, real or imaginary caused by co sleeping. If they feel stress has no relationship to disease, you want that in writinga s well.
I really think co sleeping is so much more important in your circumstances as I'm sure the comfort and reassurance of you being right next to him must really help.
I COMPLETELY agree with this. I think she hit the nail on the head.

Just wanted to add ...

1st, for shutting his door and just letting him cry, I would have been ticked and talked to her superior. If you asked her to do something specifically and she didnt want to then she should have said so. Period. She has no right to disregard your instructions about your child because she doesnt agree with them.

2nd, as for the co-sleeping, if they continued to bug you about it, unless they can show you something that says you cant, I would tell them you are his parent, its your decision not theirs and you would appreciate not hearing about it anymore. If that doesnt work, I would again go to superiors. I know that seems like tattling on the nurses alot, but really if you arent affecting how they do their job, then its none of their business. Do they take your advice on how to parent, no and its not right that you should have to continuously listen to theirs just because they happen to be able to see into your private life because of your situation.

How would they like it if you came to their house and started giving them advice on how to raise their kids? Well its the same thing, just because you are at their job doesnt mean they have the right to tell you how to raise your son. You have enough to deal with, dont stress yourself out over some people that are being paid to take care of your son. They do what you say, not you do what they say (unless its medically necesary of course). It is not their job to parent him or tell you how to parent him, just to provide him with medical care. Unwanted opinions are not necessary or needed.
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  #5  
July 23rd, 2009, 09:21 AM
HurricaneLady's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so so sorry that you had this added stress, I would personally go the adminstration and his Dr and explain to them that their nurses have no right to dictate your parenting choices. What I cannot seem to understand at all is why they are not more empathetic about it - even if a parent did believe in CIO and was totally against Co-Sleeping when your child is in the hospital THOSE are the times to throw those beliefs out the window, ya know? I can't imagine very many parents trying to sleep train while their child is hospitalized - thats a time where you hold them all night if they need it.
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  #6  
July 23rd, 2009, 01:03 PM
forest's Avatar Cara, Mom to two girls
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I am so sorry they are hassling you like that. I can't believe that nurse let him scream for 25 minutes, that makes me so sad. In my experience with hospitals you have to be extremely aggressive to get what you want and the patient needs. I wouldn't be afraid to talk to the supervisor, especially with they crying incident. When DH's Dad was in the hospital for an extended period of time we actually got them to change nurses one day and he never had her again. (he was in an extreme amount of pain and had requested pain meds, she took her time getting them and didn't until DH went and found her chatting at the nurses station.) Maybe request the one nurse you liked for whenever she is on shift??

It sounds like you are being a very good Mama Bear! Keep it up and take care of yourself too.
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  #7  
July 23rd, 2009, 04:03 PM
docsmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well, it looks like except for fever trips, we are not going back to the hospital... they no longer allow anyone BUT parents inside the hospital so the doctor has agreed to outpatient treatment!!!
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  #8  
July 23rd, 2009, 04:08 PM
forest's Avatar Cara, Mom to two girls
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That is wonderful news! I'm sure he will be much more comfortable at home.
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  #9  
July 23rd, 2009, 07:06 PM
ItalySarah's Avatar Proud Attached Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneLady View Post
I am so so sorry that you had this added stress, I would personally go the adminstration and his Dr and explain to them that their nurses have no right to dictate your parenting choices. What I cannot seem to understand at all is why they are not more empathetic about it - even if a parent did believe in CIO and was totally against Co-Sleeping when your child is in the hospital THOSE are the times to throw those beliefs out the window, ya know? I can't imagine very many parents trying to sleep train while their child is hospitalized - thats a time where you hold them all night if they need it.
I agree with this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by docsmomma View Post
Well, it looks like except for fever trips, we are not going back to the hospital... they no longer allow anyone BUT parents inside the hospital so the doctor has agreed to outpatient treatment!!!
That is great news!!!
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