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Question for those of you with kids in childcare.


Forum: Attachment Parenting

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  #1  
July 23rd, 2009, 10:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Tacoma, WA
Posts: 1,029
We recently got a new child into my classroom at work. My class consists of children ages 12 - 36 months, so I have quite the range. This little girl, I'll call her Lily, is about 13 months old. She's been home with her mom since she was born, and mom has decided to go back to school. Lily has been with us for almost three weeks and she still spends most of her time screaming and crying. She is not happy playing on her own, she is not happy unless she is being held or on someone's lap. We've been spending a lot of time outside lately due to the nice weather, and it gets hard when someone is stick with her on bench all the time. Two days ago, in desperation, I pulled my Mei Tai out of my car (I always keep it in there) and put her in it on my back. WOW! It was like she was a new child. Her whole body relaxed, and she started smiling at people. For three days now I've been wearing her on my back during our playtime outside. It's made SUCH a difference.
But...I haven't had a chance to talk to her mom about it, and I'm a little nervous. My question is, would you be upset if you knew one of your children's teachers was wearing your child at school?
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  #2  
July 23rd, 2009, 11:12 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,003
Given how easily she relaxed into it, it's VERY likely that she is used to being worn. I know when I first started wearing Grant at around 3 months, it took him a little bit to get used to it. Even now he doesn't like being worn on my back much (he's okay for a bit but if someone comes too close to him he freaks) because I just never did it when he was smaller. I've switched to a hip carry because he is heavy but wish I could wear him on my back.

Anyway as a mom I'd be THRILLED that someone at daycare took the time to figure out something that worked to meet my child's needs. Especially since you are back carrying - it's less intimate than front if that makes sense. But it's probably a good idea to make sure she is OK with it.
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  #3  
July 24th, 2009, 01:11 AM
MilkyJo's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: UK, Berkshire
Posts: 203
Ben isn't in nursery anymore, but he did go for a couple of trial days when I was still planning on returning to work.

Personally, I would be delighted if I knew the staff cared about his happiness enough that they were going to the trouble of wearing him all day. In fact, tell me where I can find a daycare like yours in UK and I might even re-consider my decision to quit work

The nurseries local to me are awful. I often see their staff loitering outside the shops smoking (in their uniforms, you'd at least think they'd change so that their clothes didn't soak up all the stink and fumes). Most of them barely look older than school leavers.

Sorry, last paragraph was a rant lol. Ignore!
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  #4  
July 24th, 2009, 07:13 AM
ItalySarah's Avatar Proud Attached Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 11,465
I am not sure how I would feel honestly. I do not want anyone else to wear Bella. I worry that another person would not be as careful as I am and would drop her.

You also may want to check to make sure its not against any regulations. i know when I worked in child care we were not allowed to wear children at all.

I do think its great that you are doing everything you can think of to help this baby girl out.
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  #5  
July 24th, 2009, 07:14 AM
HurricaneLady's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,257
I would personally be excited that you cared so much, but that is also bc I wear Parker KWIM? If she doesn't use a carrier herself she may not understand it, or feel uncomfortable...... I would approach it saying that, "Lilly has been having a hard time adjusting and I wanted to try my MEI Tie (and explain you carry her on your back - like a piggy back ride) to see if it made her feel more comfortable on the playground and inteacting with the other children and it worked, you think it is bc she is used to the one on one care she got from you at home and thought it may make it an easier transition for her - if you are ok with it. "
If you know what I mean - I would just explain you are doing it so she can feel more secure in her new environment and that eventually she'll probably be wanting to play on the playground too, but for now she is getting a birds eye view of all the fun instead of being left out.
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  #6  
July 24th, 2009, 09:41 AM
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Location: Finland
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I dont have a child in daycare but my thought is that I would like someone to care for my child so that she wasnt screaming and unhappy all day long. I mean it is stressing her out big time if she is just screaming and unhappy and stress is not good for little brains and bodies.
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  #7  
July 24th, 2009, 12:21 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HurricaneLady View Post
I would personally be excited that you cared so much, but that is also bc I wear Parker KWIM? If she doesn't use a carrier herself she may not understand it, or feel uncomfortable...... I would approach it saying that, "Lilly has been having a hard time adjusting and I wanted to try my MEI Tie (and explain you carry her on your back - like a piggy back ride) to see if it made her feel more comfortable on the playground and inteacting with the other children and it worked, you think it is bc she is used to the one on one care she got from you at home and thought it may make it an easier transition for her - if you are ok with it. "
If you know what I mean - I would just explain you are doing it so she can feel more secure in her new environment and that eventually she'll probably be wanting to play on the playground too, but for now she is getting a birds eye view of all the fun instead of being left out.
Ditto....


I would not have a problem with it if it was my child. I would be thrilled that someone was taking the time to make sure my child is happy.
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