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I feel like a horrible momma....HELP!


Forum: Attachment Parenting

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  #1  
July 28th, 2009, 08:45 PM
Michigan Momma's Avatar Just Chillin'
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So I co-sleep, I love co-sleeping but after today I'm kind of scared. See, Jacob has started getting very mobile and while he cannot crawl yet he can get over my legs and all over the bed. Well he fell out this morning. It seemed to have just scared him but it really scared the [insert curse word here] out of me. Has anyone else ever had this happen? I had a friend tell me to get a crib like a normal mom and I about cried. Others have said a co-sleeper. I don't have the money for it and yet again I've been told to use a rail on the side of my bed, probably don't have the money for this either and I've never seen them in my area. I have no income. I'm lucky to have what I do. I feel like a crappy mom all over. There are no jobs to be found here and half the things I would love to have I live without. UGH. Please tell me that someone else has had this happen or something....
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  #2  
July 28th, 2009, 08:50 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Tons of moms have this happen!

The cheap solution is to take your mattress off of the frame and put it on the floor - this way if your LO gets out, it's not that far a fall.

Now I will tell you my story... it's bad momma in 8 different ways. My dad was over helping fix my new shower and I had to help him with something so I sat Grant down on the bed watching the tv in the next room. He normally zones into tv (see, how bad can you get? But I needed him distracted for a few min while I dealt with tools and construction stuff!) so I left him there and he went looking for me and crawled right off the side of the bed. I heard a huge THUD and I knew immediately what it was. I think I got there before he started crying I ran so fast!

Well DH made me feel a bit better by telling me that most parents figure out that they need to move their kids to a big kid bed when their child figures out how to climb out of their crib... and yes, they DO figure out how to climb out of their crib! Just because you have a crib it doesn't mean that your child will never take a fall! And the top of a crib is higher up than even a mattress on the frame!

So put your mattress on the floor, pad the floor around it as best as possible and most importantly FORGIVE YOURSELF!
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  #3  
July 28th, 2009, 08:59 PM
(.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.)
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We put our mattress on the floor and raised it back only when she was ready.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lisa74 View Post
Tons of moms have this happen!

The cheap solution is to take your mattress off of the frame and put it on the floor - this way if your LO gets out, it's not that far a fall.

Now I will tell you my story... it's bad momma in 8 different ways. My dad was over helping fix my new shower and I had to help him with something so I sat Grant down on the bed watching the tv in the next room. He normally zones into tv (see, how bad can you get? But I needed him distracted for a few min while I dealt with tools and construction stuff!) so I left him there and he went looking for me and crawled right off the side of the bed. I heard a huge THUD and I knew immediately what it was. I think I got there before he started crying I ran so fast!

Well DH made me feel a bit better by telling me that most parents figure out that they need to move their kids to a big kid bed when their child figures out how to climb out of their crib... and yes, they DO figure out how to climb out of their crib! Just because you have a crib it doesn't mean that your child will never take a fall! And the top of a crib is higher up than even a mattress on the frame!

So put your mattress on the floor, pad the floor around it as best as possible and most importantly FORGIVE YOURSELF!
Great post and awesome support girl!
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  #4  
July 28th, 2009, 10:18 PM
Michigan Momma's Avatar Just Chillin'
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Lisa,

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and for the advice, I really appreciate it.
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  #5  
July 29th, 2009, 09:03 AM
broxi3781's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I had a second mattress on the floor so my older son could come in and sleep too if he wanted to for awhile. My bed is pretty low anyway so Ian falling from bed to another mattress was no big deal. I now have a dresser that blocks part of the bed and a bean bag shoved up the side so if Ian were to fall it would just be to the bean bag, but a word of caution with any big soft types of padding - Do Not use if you have a young baby and are not 100% certain you would wake if baby fell onto it in the night due to suffocation dangers.
But as mentioned in the other post, every child falls from bed, or climbs over the rails and falls from a cot at some point. Dont feel too bad about it.
I wouldnt feel bad about not having a job either. I am certain your children are alot happier at this age having all your time and attention then alot of material things. Children dont know thay are poor when young, and as a single mother to find work that covers childcare expenses and still leaves you signifigantly better off is not always easy. Dont beat yourself up about it.
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  #6  
July 29th, 2009, 09:17 AM
Michigan Momma's Avatar Just Chillin'
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Thanks,

You guys have really helped me out a lot and I appreciate it!
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  #7  
July 29th, 2009, 12:34 PM
cln1812's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well, I've had this happen too, maybe a couple times as Tessa got more mobile. DH refused to lower the mattress to the floor, but in her sleep, Tessa doesn't move that much and the times she's fallen off the bed have been when I've been awake, folding laundry on the bed or something and she was playing around and I couldn't get to her fast enough before she fell (my bad mommy moments!). She was never hurt, but I always felt so guilty, especially since I felt like if I had been just a bit faster, I would have caught her before she fell.
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  #8  
July 29th, 2009, 05:20 PM
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I caught my DD by the leg as she was falling off the bed in the middle of the night , she was @ 7 months. THey do get really mobile and yeah, you just have to get creative. The mattress on the floor was great for us we used it until she was over 2, shes in a double bed now that she will hopefully graduate in (lol).

But seriously the money thing..We too are living poorish so we can raise our own kids, but we really barely feel it as we long ago adopted Dave Ramseys finacial advise. You just have to budget like no ones bussiness,don'y use credit cards, and save to buy quality that lasts over the cheap fix. i hope this "advice" isn't offensive sorry it has just changed our lives so I like to share.

There will be time as your kids get older that you can go find a job,until then you are doing the best job there is, the investment will last for generations!
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  #9  
July 29th, 2009, 07:45 PM
ItalySarah's Avatar Proud Attached Mommy
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Location: North Carolina
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I put my bed in the corner of the room and curl around Bella. She is still swaddled so that probably helps out cause it takes her a min to get out of it and get mobile.

i think putting the mattress on the floor is a great idea
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  #10  
July 31st, 2009, 12:46 AM
KatiesGirls
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Great advice all around!

Also, I was going to say that if you're having a hard time right now with money (and who of us isn't these days??) you could also consider asking around at your church for anyone that might know of how you can get your hands on a crib so you can sidecar it.

Don't beat yourself up! I know you will anyway... but just know that we all have our moments where it seems we are crying harder than the child is! I did it when Kaylee was 4 months old and left the room with her in the boppy on the couch next to DH and she leaned forward and right out onto the floor! It scared her so bad! I felt like the worst mom ever
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