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Just some parenting Q's for ya :)


Forum: Attachment Parenting

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  #1  
July 31st, 2009, 12:51 AM
KatiesGirls
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When do you use redirection? What kinds of situations do you use it for?

When do you know that redirction is no longer working in yoru childs best interests anymore?

Is there an age you feel where boundaries should be specified and followed? if so, what is it?

What part of discipline do you struggle with most?

Describe your home as how it is for your kids. Is it their 'safe place' where they can freely express, even if that means unwanted behavior, or is your home a bit more structured and built on rules and respect?
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  #2  
July 31st, 2009, 07:36 AM
broxi3781's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: belfast, northern ireland
Posts: 1,563
answers, sometimes, it varies, it varies and it depends - LOL
It all just totally depends on the circumstances. Redirection doesnt work to well with Ian, if he wants something, he intends to get it, you can take outdoors for hours, bring him in and have him go for the same thing. We rearrange the house to suit his needs. Its harder out, especially grandmas where everything is a no touch and in easy reach. We can only stay as long as we have snacks to feed him, then he wants to touch things, I wont spank or punish so i lift him, he cries to get down, we go home
We do rediret things like throwing cars by showing him to drive them, grabbing hair, showing him easy touches etc...
Its hard for me to say a set age for specific boundaries. I would say mostly after they can speak well enough to understand directions, but when a child clearly knows they are hurting someone or something, i think that needs to be inforced right away, as do very dangerous things like which can not be made secure, like trying to jump head first down staircases.
Enforcing any rules is difficult for me, I just want to make them happy, and I am a bit anti authority anyway, so I only do what i have to to keep them safe and to follow a minimum of social nicieties, like not playing in the front garden in the nude.
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  #3  
July 31st, 2009, 07:42 AM
broxi3781's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: belfast, northern ireland
Posts: 1,563
PS when do they outgrow redirection? Never. I still use it with DH all the time, LOL
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  #4  
August 2nd, 2009, 08:16 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Quote:
Originally Posted by broxi3781 View Post
answers, sometimes, it varies, it varies and it depends - LOL
It all just totally depends on the circumstances. Redirection doesnt work to well with Ian, if he wants something, he intends to get it, you can take outdoors for hours, bring him in and have him go for the same thing. We rearrange the house to suit his needs. Its harder out, especially grandmas where everything is a no touch and in easy reach. We can only stay as long as we have snacks to feed him, then he wants to touch things, I wont spank or punish so i lift him, he cries to get down, we go home
We do rediret things like throwing cars by showing him to drive them, grabbing hair, showing him easy touches etc...
Its hard for me to say a set age for specific boundaries. I would say mostly after they can speak well enough to understand directions, but when a child clearly knows they are hurting someone or something, i think that needs to be inforced right away, as do very dangerous things like which can not be made secure, like trying to jump head first down staircases.
Enforcing any rules is difficult for me, I just want to make them happy, and I am a bit anti authority anyway, so I only do what i have to to keep them safe and to follow a minimum of social nicieties, like not playing in the front garden in the nude.
I agree with pretty much everything you said...redirection works at minimal with Jonah...like it might work to pet the cat instead of poke his eye...but never for something he wants to get at that he isn't allowed....like the VCR. I try to make it as fail proof as possible & I try to only correct those issues that must be addressed...destructive things, dangerous things, hurtful/harmful things, etc. I really try to pick my battles.
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  #5  
August 2nd, 2009, 09:50 AM
ItalySarah's Avatar Proud Attached Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 11,465
When do you use redirection? What kinds of situations do you use it for?I use redirection whenever I start thinking the kids might be needing it. If I start to hear the kids fighting over one toy. They are all older so they dont need it as much anymore.

When do you know that redirection is no longer working in yoru childs best interests anymore? When they stop needing me to help them so much. As they have gotten older, they have learned to solve issues on their own without me as much. They understand now when I tell them why they can not do something.

Is there an age you feel where boundaries should be specified and followed? if so, what is it? I think that depends on the child. My oldest was way more mature at 3 years old than my middle dd or ds. I just go with the flow of the child

What part of discipline do you struggle with most?being consistent.

Describe your home as how it is for your kids. Is it their 'safe place' where they can freely express, even if that means unwanted behavior, or is your home a bit more structured and built on rules and respect?I go out of my way to make it easier for the kids. There are toys everywhere and its all about them. However, they also know that there are rules and they will respect our things and me.
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  #6  
August 3rd, 2009, 04:45 PM
Tofu Bacon
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When do you use redirection? What kinds of situations do you use it for? With dd, I use it mainly to keep her out of mischief or to substitute with something she can't have/do. With ds, our redirection days are loooooong since over.

When do you know that redirection is no longer working in yoru childs best interests anymore? Its no longer working when it no longer works, lol. With ds redirection was always pretty pointless (kids with autism will perseverate indefinitely, and no amount of redirection can change that), so with him it has always been best to simply keep "off limits" things completely out of sight.

Is there an age you feel where boundaries should be specified and followed? Any age; boundaries are simply part of life.

What part of discipline do you struggle with most? Patience.

Describe your home as how it is for your kids. Is it their 'safe place' where they can freely express, even if that means unwanted behavior, or is your home a bit more structured and built on rules and respect? I like to think we have a healthy balance of both; our home is family-centered, not necessarily child-centered. We all have needs and feelings and we all deserve respect. The kids have their space to freely explore and play, but we have taught them to keep their things picked up so we're not tripping over them. Once we move they will have a playroom and a yard, but for now... this is how we need to co-exist in a small apartment, lol.

Last edited by Tofu Bacon; August 3rd, 2009 at 04:57 PM.
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