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Making their own decisions???


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  #1  
August 18th, 2009, 06:10 AM
~Nik*Re~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I was just thinking what you all think about children and decision making. When they are old enough to make their own decisions about wearing make up, or hair dying, or anything else along those lines??
My oldest is 10 years old (very mature for her age...VERY and it's kind of scary) wanting to wear make up and dye her hair. I've already made my decision and I'll post it after I hear some other comments.
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  #2  
August 18th, 2009, 07:51 AM
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I have an one year old but...

If by the time she is 10 she is very mature as you describe your girl and wanting to experiment I might be inclined to let her but only under certain circumstances. Say she can wear one or two items of makeup when going out with the family on a Saturday (but not necessarily every Saturday). As for dying the hair, depending on the colour I think it might be OK.
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  #3  
August 18th, 2009, 08:08 AM
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By the time I was 10 I was wanting things like hair dye or a perm...my mom made me wait until I was in 7th grade (so what is that 12?)....She was afraid it'd ruin my "baby" hair.

*personally* I wouldn't in my home. Not that I want to trump her decisions she's wanting to make...but I think 10 is a little young for that. I want them to enjoy being a kid...10 is still a small child IMO..that and I'm trying to teach my children to be happy with their appearances and not get caught up in what the world is doing...if that makes sense. I'll allow them to color their hair once I think they are old enough, which will probably be 13 or so....

As far as makeup...I let them play with it now...they are not to leave the house in it...obviously a 6 year old's idea of make up is not suitable for public anyway lol....I do let her wear lip gloss..and she feels "big" in that....

I dont know...again...I think this is each parents thing....as for ME....if Emma would ask at 10....I'd say no....but that is just me.
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Martha
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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  #4  
August 18th, 2009, 12:04 PM
ItalySarah's Avatar Proud Attached Mommy
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Location: North Carolina
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My oldest will be 10 at the end of the year and even though she is very mature, make up is a no right now. I might be more lenient on her hair but definatly not on make up.

She is only going into 4th grade. I think once she gets into high school I will consider make up or if she ends up with bad acne.
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  #5  
August 18th, 2009, 06:33 PM
KatiesGirls
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10 is much too young imo for makeup outside the house. I think that I would be more lenient on the hair because it doesn't really make them look older if it's just lighter or darker.
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  #6  
August 18th, 2009, 09:19 PM
~Nik*Re~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well, I don't want everyone to think I'm a bad mom now but I did let her do her hair. She's had it dyed before but nothing this major. She was born a pretty little blonde and it is now black. In 2007, she had the underneath of her hair done black. It wasn't too noticable, but now it's her whole head.
I came to the conclusion that I am not going to fight with her over it. She knows what it can do to her hair. I've told her all of that. It's just hair and it will grow out. As long as she's doing well in school, and doesn't have an attitude, I didn't see the big deal. DH on the other hand might have something to say about it when he gets home.
As far as the make up. I let her wear it around the house. She came home from school today and told me that a girl in her class (5th grade) has her nose peirced!!! She asked me if she could get hers done. My response to her..."SURE, WHEN YOU'RE 18." What's going on with kids these days? I remember playing with dolls at her age, not make up and hair dye.
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  #7  
August 19th, 2009, 04:45 AM
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I have NO experience with older children if you don't count my step-daughter who is 9 and is making some efforts for rebellion because what you mentioned IMHO is not being mature it is trying to rebel and is quite normal for a pre-adolescent Oh well, so i would simply tell her that make up will destroy AND dry her face ( i still wear make up ONLY on special occasions and i am 35) and that dying her hair also does the same thing and that i am not going to fight for her about it but that it is simply NOT allowed as long as she is depending on me for her existence, meaning house/food and money. When she is over 18 she can do whatever she wants to either her face OR hair, but not before that and simply that's that. I do the same with step daughter. Most of the times the fact that i am straightforward and simply there is NO choice there she accepts it. Oh yes i know when she gets to be 18 she is going to really do anything she wants, but it's ok for me then.
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  #8  
August 19th, 2009, 05:35 AM
Xx5Xy1+'s Avatar What's your superpower?
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When my 14yo was 10 she wanted to dye her hair and wear make-up, so we compromised.... I would let her wear slightly tinted lip glosses and neutral (flesh tone) eye-shadows and that was all. She was able to feel like she was wearing grown up make-up without looking like she was *wearing* make-up.

As far as the hair dye, we let her do high-lights and streaks at 12, though she had been asking to dye her hair since she was in kindergarted lol She's 14 now and still does high lights and wants to add color (normally pink or blue or purple lol) but she's staring high school so I don't have as much problem with it lol
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  #9  
August 19th, 2009, 01:03 PM
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nikki i dont think allowing your (YOUR) child to dye her hair would make anyone think you are a bad mom. all of us mother/parent differently....if you thought it was ok...then that is what matters...I hope your husband agrees though LOL!!!!
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Martha
Momma to Emma, Elzie, Gretchen, Olive, and Rogan

We aren't to give a baby milk, berries, or peanut butter. We are to introduce new foods one at a time. But it's OK to inject several viruses, bacteria, aluminum, formaldehyde, phenoxyethanol, animal serum, mercury, squalene and more into an 8 week old? I don't think so.
In order to be healthy it is an unfortunate fact that people must be allowed the opportunity to be ill. I trust my body and those of my children to work correctly against the relatively benign diseases they vax for, and do not trust the ingredients in the vaccinations.
Our choice to not vax isn't based in ignorance, poverty, conspiracy theory and rumor. It's research, common sense, fact and evidence based..something the medical community has largely forgot about.
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  #10  
August 20th, 2009, 02:39 PM
mamatomaica's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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each to their own
I think i'd might compromise if she *really* wanted to do something with her hair with henna or a new cut... i didn't dye my hair or really wear makeup until about 14. i don't wear makeup at all now except eye makeup on very special occasions!
So i guess i'd be the same... a little eyeliner once she hits her teens i might allow!
xx
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  #11  
August 27th, 2009, 02:13 PM
babypea09's Avatar Veteran
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Mind you my daughter is only 6 weeks old but I think I'd let her dye her hair when she reaches middle school and wear make-up on a regular basis when she reaches high school.
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  #12  
August 27th, 2009, 02:44 PM
~Jackie
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I wore makeup when I was in middle school. My mother never taught me how to wear makeup so looking back on it I probably looked ridiculous!

I will consider make up when the girls are in middle school - light make up like lip gloss and mascara. I won't allow hair dye until high school.

Can we see pics? I like looking at before and after pics, I'm a nerd... LOL!
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  #13  
August 27th, 2009, 02:55 PM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
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I think I'd allow makeup for sleepovers or maybe special occasions. However for school days or everyday use not until high school. I will not allow her to dye her hair until college. I wanted to dye my red hair black at one point and my mom said no. I am GLAD she refused to let me even though at that time I thought I would die lol. Here I am at 28 and I can proudly say that I have never had any chemicals beyond shampoo, conditioner and some gel ever applied to it!

I have seen YOUNG girls walking around with piercings and I seriously don't understand that. There once was a one year old girl in my class at the daycare I used to work at with her ears pierced twice. Why!?!?! So dumb.

I think some things should be reserved for the rebellion period. Like if you give in to everything when they are young then what are they going to move on to that is "safe" to rebel into if they don't have hair dye and makeup lol.
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  #14  
August 27th, 2009, 03:05 PM
Spyctre's Avatar Arwen
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I would let her dye her hair if it wasn't permanent. As for make-up, depends. I've worn make-up since I was little because I had very light eyebrows and eyelashes. It looked like I had a hairless face.

If I had a 10 year old, I wouldn't mind her wearing tinted lip gloss or some fun colored eye shadow. Stuff that looks "young." I'd probably say no to mascara or real lipstick. If my daughter was going through puberty and had some acne problems, I might go ahead and let her wear foundation.
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