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  #1  
September 13th, 2009, 08:37 PM
Lanismommy's Avatar Veteran
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Hi! My name is Megan! I have never posted on this board before but I don't know where else to turn. I am not technically a parent yet, I am due with my first on March 17, 2010 and I feel like my husband and I are going to be very AP. We want to co-sleep, brest feed as long as possible, baby wear, not let the baby CIO, etc. and I know we are going to have big problems with my mother, and maybe even my father, whom we live with right now. I don't know if we will have problems with my dad cause he and I don't really talk about it much but chances are if we are having an issue with my mom he's gonna side with her. My mom on the other hand I know we are going to have a problem with and up until today I just shrugged it off, because its our decision how we parent or kids, but she said something today that really upset me. She told me that we need to learn how to treat our dogs (We have two and she was upset that they were outside while it was raining but it was only sprinkleing and had it been lightning or even thundering as one of them is very scared of loud noises, I would have let them in) and if we don't she is going to end up "taking" the baby. I don't know what to think of it. She has already made comments about not letting the baby sleep with us, not breast feeding "to long," and not picking up the baby every time he/she cries. I am to the point after what she said today that I want to talk my husband into moving atleast 2 hrs away just so she won't be there all the time. I love my mom but no one is going to tell me based on me leaving my dogs outside that they are going to take my unborn baby away. Am I in the wrong here? Am I over reacting? I really don't know what to do. I would appreciate any advice you ladies have to give.
Thanks in advance.
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  #2  
September 14th, 2009, 12:35 AM
Ellemphriem's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I really don't think she would do such a thing and i think it is probably crazy preggo hormones at work here (meant jokingly of course), but u know your mom best i just assume based in what you say, but since assumption is the mother of all F&ps (words of wisdom) i think it is you who only knows if she means it. And if she is such a pain in the bottom and does not cooperate then i'd say get away from there. BTW i am a huge NOT LIVING WITH PARENTS ON EITHER SIDE fan.......i see it as too much trouble to added to an already troubled area which is marriage AND children. We don't need more burden do we? I refuse point blank to go live with DH's parents not because they are not good, but because they WON'T be AS good when we go live with them and NO don't flame me we don't live with my parents either, they are long dead both..and their parents......

Get out of there.......but realistically no one would take your baby away from you.....
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  #3  
September 14th, 2009, 04:52 AM
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There is a sticky here called handling critism, maybe there is something there that can help you.

Does your mother know and realize that this is your child? She has already had her chance and now it is your turn. This may be harsh but if anyone was taking my baby because I'm breastfeeding/holding/comforting too much in their opinion I would call the cops on them. You are the mother and her taking your child without your agreeing on it is kidnapping.

It isnt easy to hear such things when you are pregnant and trying to get used to the idea that you'll be having a baby soon. Could it be possible that this is your mother's way of freaking out? Maybe she thinks that you are still her little girl and that you cant possibly be responsible enough to take care of a little baby. How you treat your dogs has no bearing on what kind of parent you'll be. Your dogs may be your babies but they still dont have the needs that a human baby does (or have you been breastfeeding them recently? ).
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  #4  
September 14th, 2009, 05:36 AM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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if it were me, I'd move, but that is how i roll I would just keep a lot of what you do to yourself. We did not tell MIL that we were cosleeping until she came to visit and saw the snugglenest in the bed.I would definitely NOT live with his parents if you could manage. Just do what feels best for you and your family. Do you have dr Sears' baby book? that was our bible before and right after the baby was born. If you get that one, it pretty much covers most of his attachment parenting book in it.
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  #5  
September 14th, 2009, 04:54 PM
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I second the don't live with either parent. It is difficult enough to navigate the emotions and sruggles of early parenting without the added oppposition you are surely going to face.It sounds like your relationship with your parents is already a bit diffficult. There are tons of options for help with living costs in most states, many housing programs have long waiting lists, if finances are the issue (which I apoligize before hand for assuming), getting yourselves onto a list now would be a really really good idea.

The fact that your Mother feels that she can not "let" you sleep with your baby and has the right to "take" your child is IMO the deal breaker, this does not sound like a very good place to bring up your baby your way.

I'm really sorry thhat you are having these troubles this should be a time of happiness and delight. By moving out you can establish NOW that this is YOUR baby and YOUR life.
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  #6  
September 14th, 2009, 05:51 PM
Lanismommy's Avatar Veteran
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Thanks for all the advice! I feel like I should say however that we live with my dad, who never really says anything lol and my mom lives else where.
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  #7  
September 15th, 2009, 04:37 AM
HurricaneLady's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would seriously flip a lid, like not even kidding! I dont care how serious or joking someone is when they make comments about what I do with my child.
I am the parent and I have decided to make choices for my child and our family that are based on MY beliefs and research----period.....if you dont like it....dont be around my children.
Wow I am seriously thinking about how much I would tell my mother off if she ever dreamt of thinking of making those comments to me.
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