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Co-sleeping question


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  #1  
September 25th, 2009, 06:57 AM
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I co-sleep with my daughter and lately we've been having a rough time of it. It used to be we could bring her to bed with us and she would nurse right to sleep, but this week things have changed. She'll nurse, then sit up in bed and start talking, giggling, and crawling around. It's beyond adorable, but it doesn't help with me getting enough sleep for work the next day. So the past 2 nights, we've moved her to our bed earlier and she's slept just fine with the earlier bed time (she usually falls asleep in the swing, then when we're ready for bed, we bring her to bed with us. So she's not really SLEEPING earlier, just moving to our bed earlier). The problem is that she's been really restless at night, tossing and turning, and then waking up at 4:45-5AM! I get up at 5:15 anyway to get to work, but when I'm also waking up every hour to hour and a half because she's restless and whiney, that last 20-30 minutes of sleep is important to me. She is still tired, since she'll go right back to sleep if I put her in the swing. She just decides she wants to play with us when she's in bed.

She's 10 months old and my daycare provider thinks this is a developmental phase because she's getting ready to walk. My question is...for those of you who co-sleep/have co-slept...is this really a phase? Or is this a sign that she's not comfortable co-sleeping anymore and needs her own space? Or is this just something she's always going to do now? If it's a phase, I can stick it out. If she's not comfortable sharing our bed, I can lower the pad on the Arm's Reach Co-sleeper we have attached to our bed and let her sleep there, still next to me but with her own space. But if she's just going to decide she always wants to get up in the middle of the night/early morning to play...I need to move her out of our room and into her crib. She naps in her crib just fine, so I know I could probably get her used to the crib or the co-sleeper with little effort. I just like having her with us when we are home because my DH and I both work and we want to get as much time with her as possible. That's why we have her in the swing...because she "goes to bed" at 7, but we don't go to bed til 10-11. With her in the swing, she's still in the same room as us and we can still see her.
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  #2  
September 25th, 2009, 10:28 AM
Ellemphriem's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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At 9 months of age she showed me that she wanted her own space when she was waking every time i tossed and turned when i was sleeping in a mattress in the same room as her. I decided to give her her own space. She sleeps like a log..... For us it was not just a phase. It was her telling me to keep it down in there......kwim?
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  #3  
September 25th, 2009, 01:40 PM
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Thanks for sharing your experience. I don't toss and turn in bed, but she has been. I'm just thinking maybe she wants her own space? But she loves to cuddle with me as she falls asleep...so I didn't want to go through the effort of trying to get her sleeping on her own for no reason, you know? Right now it's super easy to get her to sleep because we co-sleep. It's the staying asleep part that we're having a hard time with.
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  #4  
September 25th, 2009, 02:15 PM
Ellemphriem's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ok i understand it, have you considered trying to put her to bed alone in her crib in her own space to see how she'll react to it first? I mean i was deadly scared she would freak out, but first time i tried it she went in and settled the moment i put her in after her bedtime routine, not a single tear. She slept 10 minutes later. She still does the same 1 1/2 months later. Maybe your girl will settle nicely and tearlessly. IF she presents a lot of crying and refusing then i would stop it again and try the co-sleeping until she is totally ready. I don't know if making her sleep with you and THEN transitioning her to the crib is a good idea. Most babies freak out when they wake up in a different place from where they had slept kwim? I'd keep trying her crib till she showed she was ready. She maybe ready now, u won't know till you've tried it
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  #5  
September 25th, 2009, 03:22 PM
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^ I agree. I also want to add that with my DD, when she wakes up in the middle of the night she wants to giggle and play when she can't fall back to sleep immediately. (We co-sleep.) This was particularly bad when she was around 10 months until 1.5 years, because when she woke in our bed she wanted to play but did not yet have enough self discipline to try to sleep. Now that DD is 2, she will *try* to go back to sleep for a long time before she starts talking and playing. So, for your DD, it could be that she is ready for her own space, or it could be that she is simply happy to see you and can't get herself back to sleep.

Also, some kids are not great sleepers. When my DD was around your child's age, if she woke in the night and was awake more than 5 minutes, she would stay awake for about 3.5 hours. (Three nights a week for the whole summer!) Now, when she's getting a tooth in or has had a particularly eventful day, she will wake at night and stay awake for up to 5 hours! She does NOT want to go to her own bed or have her own space, she's just awake. So sometimes the poor sleeping and waking at night is just a child's personality or due to a factor other than needing her own space. The hard part is figuring out which one it is.
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  #6  
September 25th, 2009, 04:59 PM
ItalySarah's Avatar Proud Attached Mommy
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Maybe try putting her in her crib from 7 til you guys go to bed and see what happens. Bella starts out in her crib cause that is what works best for her and then by 3am she is usually in bed with us. She started doing the crawling around thing and I figured the crib was safer for her cause i was afraid she was going to fall out of the bed.

Good luck.
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  #7  
September 26th, 2009, 06:44 AM
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Our guy acts like we just banished him to Siberia if we put him in his crib, even just to play during the day (and always has). We do, however, have a few nights here and there where he is AWAKE in the middle of the night and won't calm back down. It never lasted long though.
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  #8  
September 26th, 2009, 09:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommaNator View Post
^ I agree. I also want to add that with my DD, when she wakes up in the middle of the night she wants to giggle and play when she can't fall back to sleep immediately. (We co-sleep.) This was particularly bad when she was around 10 months until 1.5 years, because when she woke in our bed she wanted to play but did not yet have enough self discipline to try to sleep. Now that DD is 2, she will *try* to go back to sleep for a long time before she starts talking and playing. So, for your DD, it could be that she is ready for her own space, or it could be that she is simply happy to see you and can't get herself back to sleep.
This is NOT promising! LOL! We went to bed last night just fine. We did the transfer from swing to bed, then 4 hours later (at 3AM) she was up and giggling. I left her alone for a little bit, then she went over to the side of the bed and started playing with the co-sleeper, so I put her in it. No dice. Instant tears. Brought her back into bed and she played some more. Kept trying to lay her down and she wasn't having any of it. I was so tired by this point that I went to put her in her crib because I couldn't stay awake to make sure she didn't crawl right off the bed. Screaming. For half an hour before I couldn't take it anymore and went to get her. After that, she nursed to sleep just fine and slept for another 4 hours before getting up for the day.

We have tried the crib at 7PM before. She wouldn't sleep in it. I don't understand the difference, since she will nap in her crib just fine during the day. That's why we're still using the swing...I know she likes to be around us, so when she hears us moving around and doing stuff, she sleeps pretty well. Her pack n play is more of a play area, so I can't see transitioning that to a sleep area too.

It's not such an issue today, since it's the weekend. But in the middle of the week, I don't know what to do! I work from 6AM-3PM, so losing even an hour of sleep sucks really bad, even if it's for a cute baby.
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  #9  
September 30th, 2009, 01:26 PM
ItalySarah's Avatar Proud Attached Mommy
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I don't really know what else to try. When Bella gets up to play in the middle of the night, I usually just get up with her. Can you bring the pack and play in your room and let her play in it while you are napping til she is ready to go back to sleep?
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