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How do you view ECing? I have ran into a few different view points about it and I find it very interesting.
I ask because I am currently ECing and have gotten kind of attacked for doing so. Its something that I learned about through all of my travels around the world. I do it only do it part time-he always wear diapers but we use the potty after all naps/during a diaper change and whenever else I notice his cues. We started by doing naked time every day...to let his skin breath and learn his cues for having to go the bathroom. After a couple weeks it was very obvious to me when he needed to go...just as obvious as him being hungry and rooting....so I held him in a supportive way over the toilet and he went! And since then I rarely have any poopy diapers and there are times we are so in tune that he doesn't have wet diapers for hours. I guess *I* view this as following my child's natural led...I'm not forcing him to go (he is over the toilet 1-2 min tops after a cue, we don't do a time schedule type thing)....I see his cues and I take him then. Just like I do for feeding...I see his cues then I feed him. After I was attacked I felt horrible and I tried to stop ECing....but then I would see his cues that he needed to go and it killed me to ignore it because he knew, I knew whats up and he would just end up crying...which made me feel worse and then he pooped his diaper and started screaming...then I felt like the worst parent on the planet because I felt like I was telling him "i don't care you have to go, you just sit there and go in your pants". So I have come to the personal decision that we will continue doing it, and nothing anyone could say would stop me because its just right for us
Now with all that said and the fact that I'm comfortable with what we are doing for us....I now want to try to understand the other view of it ( I wasn't strong enough to ask before without getting upset or hurt).
So how do you view ECing in general?
The two main things I hear about it is...
1. Its newborn potty training and you shouldn't force this on a newborn who can't understand it.
2. Its you listening/learning your childs born with natural cues and meeting that need.
I don't want this to be a debate at all, so please don't reply to someone else's post if you disagree with them. I do want to understand though and I thought this group of like minded (in the AP sense) would be the place to ask. I know that we are all bonded by the basics but there is enough variety in the group were I'm sure not everyone is pro-ec or anti-ec.
I think it's awesome if you can do it. With being gone pretty much Ft since 6 wks I didn't feel it was a practical thing for us to even consider...but I think I would be open to trying it if I felt I had the flexibility to do so. What the heck do you have to loose - it works or it doesn't...and if you find it's too much trouble, you can ALWAYS diaper.
Plus with a child that seems to have almost a toilet phobia at 2.5 yrs old - I think it would have made THIS time a WHOLE lot easier on me...LOL
__________________ B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
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I think that what a lot of people get confused with is the EC is in no way potty training. Some people really think that doing anything potty related with a child before they are old enough to basically say "hi mom, take me to the loo now" is horrible. I happen to disagree.
I think that it is just natural to give your child the opportunity to listen to their bodies cues. In a way I think it is horrible that they get taught to ignore them and that they learn to just wet whenever and wherever and to tolerate wet diapers.
I wanted to EC but found myself too overwhelmed to really focus on it. As a compensation I started putting DD on the potty from 6 months. I'm pretty sure a lot of people think that is insane lol. I've never pressured her to do anything, I simply view this as an opportunity to eliminate in a more convenient fashion. After almost a year of this she is still nowhere near potty learning and doesnt ask to go potty. I have watched her and sometimes there are cues, other times I see her sitting and playing and then notice that she is wet (she get to wear undies when she goes on the potty, if she has an accident it is back to diapers mostly because I dont feel brave enough to mop up many accidents a day).
Hvor er toalettet? Skal vi danse? Gratulerer med fødselsdagen Luftputefartøyet mitt er fullt av ål Ett språk er aldri nok
We are doing part time EC with JoJo and slowly doing it with lil Jimmy. I think it is great and it is just another way you can listen to your childs cues and signals. I don't think it is for everyone....but for those that chose to do it is great. I have not had great success with it but I am not focusing on that....just doing what I can do!
I thinks its definitely admirable and wish I had the focus to be able to do it. To me, I don't see it as potty training at all; its simply using something other than a diaper for baby to eliminate into. I find that those who are so quick to criticize are just stroking their own egos or masking their insecurities.
Why not? I don't find it weird, i just find you amazing for being able to do it. Heck i am scared sh$tless of the time that we will decide to potty train. I feel i am gonna FAIL miserably and she is gonna be a scared child wetting her bedding all the time If i could do it i would have done it earlier too. hehehehe.........sometimes i leave her without a diaper before night-bath in order for her to walk around free of diapers and feel her thighs and legs and how they work better, and she ALWAYS pees on the floor......LOLOLOLOLOL.......!!!!!!! Thank God we haven't placed the carpets yet (later we will) and she pees on wooden floor so i simply wash it with a warm cloth and no harm done, but i can NEVER manage to understand when she is about to go.... Although by now you would have thought that i would have learned that she likes to pee without her diaper on.....oh well..... So i say if it works for you and a 2 month old go for it, and when you're there tell us some clues also because as i said before i see potty training as my 'mommy' nemesis......LOL
" \m/ Now I’m riding through the air
going to where no one dares
on the way I’ll cross the line forevermore \m/ "
We EC off and on (similar approach to the way you started). I think there are a lot of benefits to it, and admire those who are committed enough to make it work all the time!
Honestly...I've never heard of someone thinking it was wrong, and can't quite understand why anyone would think it to be! ...I mean, I know they think I'm weird, but that's nothing out of the ordinary!
I'm also very pro-EC and feel it's very AP. Now reading you feel about it Ange, you totally have the AP mindset.
I regret not reading more into prior to having dd. When she was born I had a lot of demons to deal with so it really went to the bottom of the list of things to do. As soon as she was out of the bumbo, I was putting her on her potty.. sorry I can't say more ~ Samantha is awake!
I didn't read all of the above posts, because it is late and I have to work in the morning (yes, on a sunday! bleh!) but I definitely wanted to comment on this. Sorry if I am repeating anything or negating anything, I am writing this truly having only read the original post.
After attempting to have a blog that was 90% based on our EC with Jonah, I have met a lot of criticism through email, PMs (both on the blogging site that I am on and JM) and on facebook even! The typical critical point is that I am trying to put pressure on him to learn something he is not ready to learn. Basically, the person writing this comment sees EC exactly as potty training, and that I am placing the same expectations on my son that I would on a three year old. They believe that an infant cannot control eliminating, and to expect him to do so is detrimental to his self esteem. On the contrary, I believe that potty training itself is detrimental to a child's self esteem, and EC gives me a tool to eliminate that. There is no training at all, there is only communicating, and nurturing rather than extinguishing, the awareness of his eliminations.
Another point I come across a lot is "if your child has to rely on you to take him to the potty, than he is not trained, the parent is training." Once again, I have to say, there is no training involved. There is my son, telling me he has to go, me recognizing it (in the same way that, as you said, I recognize hunger, or his need to burp, or his need for sleep) and me responding to it. I can not explain to someone who doesnt EC the amount of communication that goes on between me and Jonah when it comes to pottying. He communicates to me his need, I communicate to him that I understand. It's amazing, and I haven't met this level of connection anywhere else in my parenting. Not even BFing. Maybe because I'm a bad parent, I don't know LOL but honestly, my relationship would NOT be the same with Jonah if it weren't for EC. He is so independent in everything else he does, but we come as a team when it comes to EC. Of course now he is starting to climb on his potty himself, which thrills me, but the communication is still there.
I have written several blog posts just about the resistance and criticism that I get from everyone from family members to complete strangers. Those only tend to flare up more criticism from people who didn't actually listen to what I was saying, and have very narrow vision. I just block them out now, and simply say "they wouldn't understand" and go on with my life. It took a while for me to do that though; I took all the hate-messages very personally for a while, and in fact don't blog much about my EC anymore because of it. Which is sad because I had a lot of readers who said they couldn't get the info elsewhere, so I should probably start again and focus on the positive.
Even though I'm not coming from the other side of the debate, I hope I've helped a little. I too have been trying to understand why anyone would argue with me about finding a way to keep Jonah's bottom away from his waste. You are a good Mama for doing this with your little boy, don't let them stop you. If family members chide me for taking Jonah to the toilet right away, I usually tell them "I'll have to deal with the poop at some point, I might as well do it now before it sticks to his butt!" and they usually shut up, because it is a good point LOL
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I think EC is great for you. I did not do it b/c I had never heard of it but I would never criticize another mom for it. The little bit of knowledge I do have is enough for me to know that EC is about following baby's cues and not training. Good luck with it and forget everyone who is being negative to you!
I think it's sad you are getting attacked for it I've never tried EC. I don't think I could if I wanted to lol. With 1 bathroom for a household with 8 people I'm lucky to have 2 minutes to go pee myself lol. I do think it's great for those who can do it. It's just not for me though.
Mom of 3 girls and 6 boys
& never forgetting our angel Tristan ~ lost 2/6/03 @ 20 weeks
I personally would not do it because well... I don't want to! lol BUT I see nothing wrong with you doing it and even find it very interesting. I don't think you are forcing him to potty train. Liek you said you are following his cues!! Its not like he is screaming while you hold him over the toilet! For heavens sake people are so weird! lol Just keep taking your little man potty and when he is potty trained at 16 months, you can laugh at everyone else!