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Hello all I am a new mommy to a 7 week old baby boy. He was born on April 22nd 2010. I learned about AP during my pregnancy and realized that it matched my individual parenting style very closely, as far as lots of holding, cuddling, no CIO. I had a beautiful birth experience, it was a vaginal birth. I did have some stadol which I hated and then an EPI. When he was born when I finally got my hands on him he was crying and we looked in each others eyes and I said "hi baby" And he quit crying. He actually didn't cry much at all in the hospital. The nurses kept commenting on how mellow he was. He was totally alert and looking all over. I have never seen such an alert newborn!
I attempted breastfeeding. Zachary had a natural latch and urge to suckle from the start. But unfortunately the nurse said "time to feed the baby" handed him to me and went to leave the room! I had read a lot and seen some vids but was really hard! I asked the nurse for help and she half way helped and then left. The next day I only had one short visit from the lactation consultant. When I got home I was so exhausted from not sleeping in the hospital I was getting pretty high anxiety, and every time the baby cried I was so anxious to help him that I was having panic attacks. I kept trying to breastfeed him and he kept acting not satisfied and by then my nipples were very sore. I called my lactation consultant and it was friday, she couldn't make it til Tuesday to help! So there I was with a very upset baby, my milk had not come in and he was hungry and I was stressed and sleep deprived. After trying to BF for over an hour he still was crying every time I took him off he'd cry. After a couple hours I was desperate and tried a binkie, he sucked on it with fury and cried. After another hour I gave in and gave him a bottle. The poor little guy was so hungry once he ate he slept for 5 hours! I felt horrible. My milk came in the next day and I was engorged and my breast hurt so bad that I didn't want to try to nurse. So I tried to pump to keep my milk supply up to hopefully feed him and ended up getting mastitis! It was such a horrible pain that I just decided to formula feed and Zachary is doing great on formula!
During my pregnancy I was intent on a circumcision. My SO is not circumsized but I convinced him that we would have Zachary circ. Well once the lil guy was born, I couldn't handle the thought of someone cutting off a piece of his body. We decided to let the lil guy go all natural.
We are doing disposable diapers out of convenience but I am interested in learning more about cloth diapering and if it would be right for me. I am a stay at home mom.
Here is my biggest concern. I always respond to Zachary as soon as possible. I know him very well. When he begins to fuss he starts to breath hard and make "eh" sounds... those are generally answered quickly, but if I'm unable to it turns into squawking... which eventually turns into full fledged crying. I hate to let him get to the full fledged crying. Sometimes it's impossible though as I'm doing my best to get a bottle made, or a clean onesie.
Zachary has had increasing bouts of fussyness. He is a baby who wants constant movement. Swaddling him is a godsend. He also wants to be rocked and bounced a lot and patted. He seems to really need this. He also really needs me to help him get to sleep especially during the day. He is not napping as well during the day but generally sleeps really well at night. Sometimes at least 5 hours.
My question is... should I worry about "damaging" him if he cries for more than a few minutes? The other day he began to cry in the car and dumb me, I had forgotten the diaper bag. But there was no consoling him. We stopped and I held him and he stopped crying but then as soon as I put him back in the car seat he screamed the whole way home. I sat by him and patted his leg, this helped soothe him a lot.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, especially when cleaning the house, thats when he seems to be most fussy. Today put him in this baby bjorn carrier and this seemed to help a lot. Sometimes I REALLY need to step out and get away from the crying for a few minutes... does this make me a bad mom? I feel like I'm letting him down when I take a step away for a minute. But I can collect myself and come back ready to handle him better. Any advice?
Welcome to the board and congratulations!!
You will not damage your baby by stepping away if you need to,my first baby cried for hours and hours ,i held her or wore her all the time but she had pretty bad colic,i stepped away once,left her with the golden retreiver!
music and dancing is great!
Dr.Sears has an excellent site,askdr.sears.com that has his book, your fussy and high needs baby,pretty much completelt on line, it gives hundreds of ideas.
i would recommend #1 letting your house go a little and #2 a moby wrap, they are very close and strong hold for a baby that likes swaddling so well.I"m sure you'll get alotr more ideas.but it sounds like you already have kickbutt instincts with your little guy!!
Congrats on your LO! I know that the first few months are really tough. I had a fussy baby who wanted to be constantly rocked, walking with and she felt best when she was in motion. She continues to be a very active child - she's our energizer bunny LOL!
I definitely second wearing the baby as much as possible and don't worry about cleaning right now. Try to nap when the baby naps. It can definitely be overwhelming, but just take one day at a time and try to plan little things for you guys to do during the day like go to the mall, take a walk outside etc. just so you can stay sane:-)
Feel free to ask any other questions! I've been there, so I know how it feels.
Baby Caleb - born on Sept. 15, 11.31 pm, 8 lb. 15 oz.
Thanks for the tips everyone. We just moved into a new house so everything has been so scattered and hard to find so I've been a little extra stressed. At first my SO expected me to clean and take care of things even days after Zachary was born! He eventually let up quite a bit. But for awhile he still had the opinion that I had all day to get things done. Well that was until he got to watch Zachary while I went to some appointments and to the store and such. He changed his tune very quickly! He realized how hard it is so he's a lot more understanding now.
I thought I'd have all the time in the world to get things done around the house as a SAHM after Devan was born, but I was totally wrong!! I don't think the guys realize this until they're in our shoes! I'm lucky if I can get the dishes done! I even shower at night now after Devan is asleep because I don't have time during the day.
Leave your LO with your SO for an evening and he'll see just how difficult it is to get anything done As for the crying, I ditto the baby wearing. I carried Devan everywhere I went & I still wear him all the time. As for crying in the car, you can always start singing a song at the top of your lungs to your LO while driving. I do that when Devan cries in his carseat (which is very rare) & he calms down right away.
He just started to like his swing which is a blessing! He hated it the first few weeks so I just got it out again. I put him in it just now when he was calm and alert and now he is sleeping like an angel.
I think I'm totally going to invest in a Moby wrap. I keep reading about them and it sounds more secure than the baby bjorn carrier I have, and looks more comfortable too. I'm hoping I can get one soon.
I'm mostly a lurker here, but I bought a K'tan after I tried both that and a Moby wrap. I like the idea of both, but the K'tan is easier to put on and has a lot less fabric- shorter learning curve. But for the K'tan there are different sizes, and I made sure I went somewhere that I could try it on with the baby before I bought it.
I prefer the Hotsling. LOVE it LOL I started using it when DD#2 was 2 weeks old and she can still use it. The moby was a PITA to use, I had it with DD#1, but I know some people really like it. I got the Hotsling and a Mai Tei this time and I love them both.
I don't have much time right now...but I noticed you are in Oklahoma...I am also in Oklahoma...Moore to be exact. If you are near me at all...I could meet you somewhere and you could try out a few of my carriers...or I can point you in the right direction for some classes that are held in the area.
I prefered the K'tan to the moby because it was less fabric and no wrapping. I have never tried the Moby though so I cant really say much more than that. I did try the bjorn and the hotsling and neither were for me. I have a bad back, I am having surgery in Feb/March, and the K'tan was the only one that didn't make it worse for me.