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hitting- help!


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  #1  
July 18th, 2011, 08:25 AM
Kathode's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Where is all this aggression coming from? DS is 13 months old and has started smacking people in the face for apparently no reason. He's even started doing this thing where he leans over and does his "kissy" face (asking for a kiss) and when you lean in, you don't get a kiss but a nice smack in the face! For no reason apparently. And he does it to everyone, including strangers. I have to warn people now not to get too close because he will hit them. I don't understand it. We're not aggressive people, and It would make sense if he were doing it out of frustration or something, but he seems to be doing it just because. I say "be gentle" and move his hand down, or remove him from the situation, but I don't know what else to do. Any ideas?
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  #2  
July 18th, 2011, 08:52 AM
Jule'sMomInOR's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have no advice but I wanted to say I'm going through the same thing. It's not just hitting but also pinching and scratching. Last week, I was assaulted with a bottle of Infant Advil! I'll be waiting to see what advice you get. "No, be gentle" is starting to sound like a broken record and it's obviously not effective.
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  #3  
July 18th, 2011, 04:29 PM
Kathode's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so giggling right now Mariah...once again.... nice to know you're there!
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  #4  
July 18th, 2011, 06:28 PM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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my friend tells her daughter "no, hands are not for hitting they are for clapping" or blowing kisses, or waving hello and it really seemed to have worked for her.
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  #5  
July 18th, 2011, 10:40 PM
Kathode's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I just googled "13 month old hitting" and got about a zillion hits! Seems this is just kinda normal at this age. Of all the tactics I've read to deal with it, one I like is to turn the hit into a high-five. Seems like it will satisfy the little one but be more appropriate than hitting in the face. I'm gonna try it. Stay tuned...
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  #6  
July 18th, 2011, 11:26 PM
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Right there with you. The only thing more fun that whacking me in the head is stretching my nipple out to 8" plus. Fun times!
I have to admit that I got so frustrated (and hurt) when we were trying to go to sleep last night and he kept pulling my nipple that I cried the way he does when he's hurt. It was horrible, he cried his head off for a good 10 minutes and I felt like a s#*$, but...the meanness stopped. Tonight he smacked my forehead so hard while we were in the pool. It was like he was trying to "heal" me. Since he did it when he was completely happy, rested, and relaxed I have to imagine that he just thinks it's fun.

I too shall be staying tuned for your report.
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  #7  
July 20th, 2011, 01:57 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Both of mine went through hitting at that point as well. We used gentle touches and that seemed to work well.
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  #8  
July 24th, 2011, 07:26 PM
Purrrrrrr's Avatar Semi-crunchy Mommy
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My best friend is a preschool teacher and told me about that stage when I got pregnant. She just grabs their hands and squeezes gently, gets down on their level, and says, "No, that hurts." She says sometimes it takes a few times of doing that to get the kid to stop, but apparently it's a totally normal thing for kids that age.

I like what the PP said about turning it into a high-five. Then they get that smacking sound they were wanting.

My friend also said beware of the butt-smacking stage too that sometimes follows the hitting-stage.
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  #9  
July 24th, 2011, 08:10 PM
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I am seriously struggling with this now. I had to take a time out for myself tonight. I can tell that it's when he's tired, but he seems to be going through a rough patch with falling asleep too, so...
Anyway, I read my Dr. Sears Baby book tonight on this and he just reenforced turning to positive behaviours "give daddy a hug" "give me a high five". This was after the part where he said to say, no, hurts mommy. I can tell you for sure that that is not helping here.

After I took my time out (I think it's my first since he was brand new) I felt a little calmer about it all and was able to handle it all much more gently.

I am seriously having a hard time maintaining my composure about this and would love continued advice on this one.
Thanks.
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  #10  
July 24th, 2011, 08:44 PM
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At this stage, it is very normal. They're understanding that they have ways to express themselves, but they don't have words just yet. Also, it's something "new" that they're exploring, not fully understanding the "hurt" that it causes. With my kiddos.. mainly just Kailey, not so much Nola at all. But with Kailey I would get my "sad" face on and say, "No no, be soooooooft" and then I would sign soft and grab her hands and rub them softly on my face and smile real big and give kisses and say, "Thank you!! Mommy loves you!!".
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  #11  
July 24th, 2011, 08:50 PM
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^ Thank you That's what I've been trying, and it works...for a minute. I think maybe I'm emotional from another source that I haven't recognized yet and my coping mechanisms are down. I'll keep trying.
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  #12  
July 24th, 2011, 09:34 PM
KiwiMommy's Avatar Ashlynn's Mama
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With Ashlynn I do "We don't hit" and move her hand gently and try to distract her with a game or something. If she INSISTS on hitting again (she does sometimes) I will say "That hurts, Ashlynn. We don't hit" and get up and move. Usually she will get mad that I moved and will be too focused on walking over to me again and forget about hitting. She doesn't hit nearly as much as she used to.
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  #13  
July 31st, 2011, 09:02 PM
Kathode's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ugh, so frustrated with this. The high five thing isn't working. He'll smack my hand, then as soon as my hand is down, he goes for my face again. I do the "no, that hurts Mommy" (or Papa or Mia) and I will also put him down when he hits me when he is in my arms. That just leads to a temper tantrum. We've been saying 'gentle' for months now. I KNOW he understands, he's just doing it anyway.
Right now I think only time will sort this one out for us.
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