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Discipline Methods.


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  #1  
July 23rd, 2011, 11:30 PM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
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So I practice gentle/positive discipline in my house, one thing I don't agree with is spanking. My grandmother, who is my go to lady if I have something on, is a spanker. Ive caught her on a few occasions saying things like "I'm going to smack you if you don't do -insert here-". I try and try to talk with her about why I don't want her to do it, but she gets on her high horse, saying that not spanking is the reason this generation are full of disrespectful brats etc etc. She seems to get all defesnsive like I'm attacking her, even though I'm not mad and speaking calmly. I tryyyy to talk with her about how I'm not saying don't discipline and try to teach her other ways to go about it, but she just doesn't get it. Anyone else deal with this? As far as I know she doesn't smack them, just threatens and yells Shes an awesome lady, loves my kids to bits don't get me wrong... my son especially is at that testing boundaries age, being that he is two and he can be a booger at times.
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  #2  
July 24th, 2011, 09:59 AM
momma2011's Avatar Shannon
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We aren't there yet, because Lucy is only six months old. It's going to be a fight when the time comes though, because I find threatening to spank to be nearly as bad as spanking. It's also incredibly ineffective discipline if all you're doing is threatening it. My parents and grandmother are going to be the biggest offenders, so I've decided to head it off at the pass by not having either of them babysit during those difficult years. If I'm always there to discipline her then there should be no reason for them to jump in with threats of spanking. If they say it in person I will turn it into a joke, "oh listen to that silly grandpa talking about spanking you, he's so funny. now let's put the remote control back and find you something appropriate to play with." I figure if I do that a few times I will make my point that what he's saying isn't appropriate, I will take the sting out of it for her, and he'll actually see what I do with her when she's testing boundaries.

My parents adore her but I'd rather pay someone to actually follow my wishes when she's at her most trying, than to worry about the strain on all of our relationships if they threaten her or goodness forbid actually swat her.

Whoops forgot to mention, that I deal with the comments about not spanking= raising brats, by mentioning all the brats we know and pointing out that they were clearly spanked. I also mention that all five of us were spanked and generally parented the same way and yet we all turned out completely different, some good, some bad, some really bad. I think the key to raising good kids is consistency and love, and I repeat that constantly.
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  #3  
July 24th, 2011, 06:21 PM
Purrrrrrr's Avatar Semi-crunchy Mommy
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I'm not at that point yet with Gabriel, but I agree with PP... most of the kids who are brats, I've seen their parents spank them. You don't have to actually swat your kids to make them respect you. And just threatening them isn't going to make them stop doing X if you don't follow through, and since you don't want that, I'd just remove your baby from Granny's sight when things start to get to the point of annoying her.

I can count on one hand the number of times I was spanked (one or two swats on the tush) as a kid, but that's not what I remember... I remember the build up to it (btw, I deserved each and every one of those). My mom was a master in the art of build-up, whether it be for something like that or for going on a trip somewhere.
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  #4  
July 24th, 2011, 07:14 PM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
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I completely agree that its just as bad and even worse, I'm big on positive distractions and reinforcement. I dont like to focus on anything negative but rather praise when they are doing good. She is just really old school, its only that odd hour here and there when I have an appointment or something that she has them. Or at least one of them, not too often. There aren't any paid services like that around my town only full daycare. Thanks ladies
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