[angelsailor288]

Nicholas has been co-sleeping, against my boyfriends wishes, and its starting to cause a big problem in our relationship. I'm not sure what to do about it... I LOVE co-sleeping, but I dont want to break up over it either. Its also just easier for me to roll over and nurse him rather than get up, nurse him, and put him back in his co-sleeper. He panicks if he is put in his crib One time I put him in the crib with his mobile and all was good in the world so I went to take a shower. When I came out, I just hear him screaming and gagging himself.. the mobile batteries had died. Ever since he is terrified of the crib. I've been trying to have him play in it but to no avail. So we got a co-sleeper from my friend. Only problem is I fall back asleep before I put him back in it

In reality we'd like for him to sleep in his crib. I've tried heating the bed up for him, putting my shirt in with him, etc. He either freaks out as soon as I lay him down (he wakes up immediately) or wakes him within 20-30 mins nonstop all night. In my bed he will sleep 4-5 hours at a time. I dont know what to do

Any gentle ideas to get him to sleep in his crib?

[Jule'sMomInOR]

Side-car the crib?

[mgm78]

yep, i was going to suggest side carring the crib.

why does the boyfriend not like it? your baby is so little, why rush things? enjoy the little baby phase. once DD was in the 8-12 month age, cosleeping was so much fun when she would wake up with all smiles, crawl over to us and hug us. it was some of our best moments.

[angelsailor288]

I agree.. I love it. I love waking up to him smiling and everything.
Hes never wanted the baby in the bed from day one. Even after 7 months he still thinks we are going to smother him. Says he needs his own bed, etc. We dont see eye to eye on a lot of things lol

I would side car the crib but its the type of crib with a changing table attached so I dont think that would work.

I attempted getting him to sleep last night while cuddling without boob, it didnt go so well lol.

[hollywoodma]

I would tell him that if he doesnt want your son to cosleep then HE needs to help you put him back to sleep at night when he wakes up. Make him get up to pick him up every time he wakes up, needs a diaper change. I think he will soon see that it's way easier to just co-sleep. Good luck!

[ashj_1218]

It is really hard when you and BF/DH don't agree. We had a spat about it last night because Kieran was having a really hard night and I started with him in bed with me (usually he starts the night in his crib, then comes to bed with me after the first waking). He was gripping at me about how it was going to "become a pattern."

I did basically what the previous poster said...told him I was cool with the baby starting the night in his crib, but he was gonna be the one to go get him/calm him/get him back to sleep until 1am, at which point he usually comes into our room. His tune changed quick when he realized I had already put him down in his crib twice and he slept 20 minutes each time. The realization that he would have to get up about every 30 minutes was pretty sobering.

Is there a reason why your BF doens't want Nicholas in your bed? Besides the "smothering" aspect (which seems moot at this point since he is well beyond being immobile and incapable of moving his head away from something). I think that most of the time if a BF/DH gives a reason that seems flimsy, he is actually thinking of something else that is bothering him about it and just won't come out and say it bugs him because you are spending so much time with the baby/impeding your sex life/hogging the bed/etc. If you could figure out the real reason behind him not wanting him to cosleep, maybe you could work on making it work out better.

For my DH it is the noises. During the first half of the night, DH is a super-light sleeper and wakes constantly. And Kieran makes little noises in his sleep. So he wakes up a lot when the baby is in the room with us. Thankfully, in the second half of the night, DH sleeps heavier and doesn't wake when Kieran is in the room with us. So that is how we broke the night into two parts.

It does sound like you have talked to him about this before, since you mention a lot of your parenting styles don't mesh. I hope you get it figured out so you can both be happy!

[*Jennifer*]

I am very lucky that DH and I are on the same page with Billy sleeping in our bed when he doesn't want to be in his crib. This is how I transitioned Billy from our bed to going to sleep in his crib:

I started out by sleeping on a mattress on the floor with him for a few weeks. Then he went into his crib and I stayed on the mattress next to his crib. Soon after, he would go to sleep in his crib without me in the room. He just needed to be comfortable being in his crib. By having me near him, he got more and more comfy.

I hope you and your BF can agree on something that works for you.

[angelsailor288]

Thanks for the tips.

I admit I just dont have the patience to crib train. The constant waking up and putting him back when I am tired just doesnt go well. Its easier for me to just bring him to my bed and we both get a few hours straight of sleep.

My boyfriend wakes up easily and I think the baby making noises disturbs him. Every 3 hours or so Nicholas wakes to get some boob and I end up switching sides and such. Also the sex thing is probably part of his issue. But he refuses to get up at night with him because he "works", which, three nights out of the week he is gone overnight anyway. Ah.. the pediatrician was right when he said the first year is the hardest on a couple lol

[*Jennifer*]

Hang in there. Having a baby can definitely be stressful on a relationship.

I still bring Billy into bed with me when he gets up in the middle of the night so I definitely get the part about it being easier to just bring your baby into bed.