[Ever]

I've posted here a long time ago but I'm sure you won't remember me.

I need some advice. I have a 2.5 year old daughter who I've AP'd her whole life and I love it. She has always slept in our room, mostly in bed with us and now mostly in her crib at my bedside because she sleeps better in it. Any time she wants to sleep with us she does though.

I am expecting a baby in August. DD isn't quite ready to be in a toddler bed (she is special needs and her crib is safer for her right now) and our bedroom is pretty cramped as it is. I am all for getting another crib and having both kids beside me but DH isn't so thrilled with that idea. He would prefer to move DD into her own room and have the baby in with us. I don't want to move DD out just because we're having another baby. I don't think it's fair to her, and I need her to be close. I suggested that I would move into DD's room with her and when the baby's born I'd just move him/her in there too. Neither of us likes that idea much either though.

I would like to either get another crib or a bassinet and have the baby beside me, with DD's crib left exactly where it is now. Or, completely safety proof our bedroom and put DD into a toddler bed at the foot of our bed and the baby can take over DD's crib. Either way, I want both my kids within my reach.

Has anyone had a problem of different opinions with your SO? I don't know how to get him to understand that it's not just that I want DD with me. I NEED her with me. She's had health issues in the past, scary ones, and I'm not ready to have her out of my sight. Lots of other families whose kids have the same thing as DD have their child in with them at night and they're a lot older than she is. I told DH that and he still thinks it's going to be too much with both of them in there.

There has to be a way to make it work!

[*Jennifer*]

I wish I could give you an answer on what to do. I have known a few people who opted for getting a queen size bed or larger and putting it in the nursery. It worked for them, but your hubby may not want his wife in a separate room. Good luck.

[Ever]

Thanks for the reply.

We already talked about that and neither of us wants to do that though.

Guess I am on my own.

[miamor]

you're probably going to have to keep expressing to your husband how important it is for your daughter to stay near you because of her needs and for the new baby to be close too.
i think having a toddler bed for your daughter and using the crib for the new baby sounds like a great plan...well, once your daughter is ready for her bed.
is there a reason he's opposed to both kids in the room aside from space?

[*Jennifer*]

Since the separate room idea won't work, I agree with the previous poster. Let your hubby know that it is important to you for your own mental well-being that your kids are close to you. It sounds like some scary things happened with your daughter and you need her to sleep near you. I remember how scared I was having my son sleep in his own room because he had to sleep on his tummy. I had been bombarded with "back to sleep" that I would wake up multiple times a night to go check on him.

[Ever]

He's worried that since we're already kept awake with DD as it is that adding a newborn who will be up at all hours will keep her awake that much more. DD has some sleep issues at times and it can be hard to get her back to sleep.

If the baby wakes DD and she won't go back to sleep I could take them to DD's sensory room and try and keep DD calm while I nurse the baby. I've told DH how important it is to me to have them both close to me and he's trying to be understanding. But I understand too that if he's not getting enough sleep it'll be hard for him to get up for work.

What I could try is setting up a mattress in the sensory room for DD and see if she might fall asleep while we're in there. I don't know if it'll work but it's worth a shot.

[*Jennifer*]

I actually did the mattress on the floor of the nursery when I transitioned my son to his own room. I started out by sleeping with him on the mattress. Then I moved him to the crib while I stayed on the mattress. Soon he was comfy going to sleep in his crib.