[joonzgurl]

When did you guys start to leave your babies consistently?

I feel very trapped in a way. I would love to go out for supper with DH on Valentines day, but I feel like I can't leave the baby. 1) She doesn't take a bottle and 2) She seems to be in the prime stranger danger phase. (even though my MIL is not a stranger, she cries whenever she tries to hold her until I take her back)

I could easily feed her before I left, and not worry about it because she can easily go 3 hours, but I feel like I could worry sick. I feel like I have backed myself into a corner by not really leaving her at all, but at the same time I am really worried about leaving her. How would she get to sleep? Would she cry for me and wonder where I was? She has never really been away from me except for 2 hours at 7 weeks old.

Can anyone relate? I am not sure if I should just bite the bullet and do it, or if I should wait until I feel more comfortable. I will eventually feel more comfortable leaving her right?? Or is it just something that only gets easier the more you do it? I would feel different if she was more comfortable with Grandma and was happy to be held by her and play.

[ashj_1218]

I think for some people, it is always pretty hard. With Liam, I got pretty comfortable doing it with DH or my mom when he was abotu 18 months. I rarely left him that much before then. It was primarily the concerns you have...him wanting me and not knowing where I was, him needing to sleep and me not being there to help him. But once I did get comfortable doing it...it was very rejuvenating. I really do think it helped me be better with him, since I was getting time to be ME without the mom part attached for 2-3 hours here and there. I am "looking foward" to it when Kieran gets a little older. I just tried to go out for the evening last week and it was not good (he cried and I felt horrible), so I think it will be a while before I try again for that length of time. So I can't really help you right now. Maybe some "trial runs" would be good...where you are only gone or out of sight for 30 minutes while your mom has her. It would not help by Valentines Day...but you allowing her to get more comfortable with your mom will always be beneficial. I plan to do that with Kieran, so he gets more used to being with DH for longer. It is ultimately good for them to relate other people to their care, but so hard to get to that point. You and she will get "better" about it but it might always be a struggle for you.

[HippyMomOf4]

I have a hard time leaving Korbin, when I have photo shoots I'm always thinking in the back of my mind if hes ok. Hes very attached to his mama and I worry hes screaming the whole time I'm gone. DH assures me that he doesn't cry at all when I'm gone and that hes just fine. I know I could be gone longer than a couple hours because even if he gets hungry DH can feed him some baby food or a bottle of expressed milk. I just freak out that if I miss a feeding my supply with be affected lol. I think as hes gotten old though its gotten better, at least I go out now for a couple hours.

[mgm78]

i do not want to admit it, but our first time out without her was when she was 28 months old.......... we always took her to kid friendly restaurants prior to that.

[miamor]

this probably wont help you, but my husband and i go to lunches or very early dinners at baby/kid friendly places. it's usually casual, but better for everyone. you get out, baby isn't left for you to worry.
i know part of you really wants to get out once in a while like before you had the baby. it's a difficult thing to adjust to.
i think the previous poster's suggestion of short trial runs would be good..once she gets older and learns that mommee still exists when she cant see you, things will be different i think.
i have been away from carlos for maybe an hour when he was about a week old and i ran to target with my mom to get some diapers or something. he stayed with my husband..i swore i heard him crying while i was at the store.

[MissImpatientlyWaiting]

I would love an answer to this as well. DH really wants to go to a movie for V day but Caleb refuses to take a bottle AT ALL. I have no idea how I can leave him. I don't think he will cry for me if he is with my mom because he loves his Granni, but he will cry to nurse.

[Jule'sMomInOR]

For me it just depends on who's available to watch her and when I want to be gone. I'm still pretty much only comfortable with my mom or our nanny watching her, but our nanny's been working for us for a year. I still wouldn't go out and leave her overnight. When she was 14 months old I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and I had to stay out until 11:30. I was really nervous about it. My mom put her to bed and I happened to come home as she was waking up for the first time that night. It turned out ok, but I still won't do go out past bedtime again unless it's something really important and rare.

I would maybe try to compromise and go out for a fairly quick dinner for an hour and a half or so. Is there a restaurant within 5 or 10 minutes driving distance?

Originally Posted by MissImpatientlyWaiting

I would love an answer to this as well. DH really wants to go to a movie for V day but Caleb refuses to take a bottle AT ALL. I have no idea how I can leave him. I don't think he will cry for me if he is with my mom because he loves his Granni, but he will cry to nurse.

Maybe go during his nap time or after his bedtime and wear him so you can nurse him and he will nurse himself to sleep?

[MissImpatientlyWaiting]

Originally Posted by Jule'sMomInOR

Maybe go during his nap time or after his bedtime and wear him so you can nurse him and he will nurse himself to sleep?

Not an option for me. The closest restaurant is 15 min away from our house or 25 min away from my moms house. ( We live way out in the country) My little monkey will not sleep out in public, and usually only takes max 20 min naps. And he is a night owl usually doesn't go to bed till 11 or after so thats not an option. Not sure what we are gonna do, may just leave lots of snacks with my mom maybe if he snacks a lot on his puffs and mummums he won't get as hungry to nurse and can wait till we get back.

[angelsailor288]

Ugh... my mom tried to watch Nicholas this weekend he screamed the entire time. I called to check and was sick to my stomach hearing him. He wont take a bottle, doesnt really drink from his sippy cup and only eats a little bit of solids so he was starving when I got back. We were only got 2 1/2 hours.

He hasnt been left with anyone in a couple months because of this issue and now I'm afraid to do it again

[Purrrrrrr]

I think I've left him once with my parents. Every other time it's been with DH for a few hours. He used to watch him at night when I was working. He looooooooooves his daddy. I'd like to go somewhere together, but I don't want to leave him for the same reasons as you. He won't take a bottle and I don't pump, so I'm not sure how they'd go about feeding him.

[blondie-lox]

I have no issues being away from my kids. It's necessary for ME to be a good mom and a good wife. DH and I NEED our time just the two of us, away from kids and I NEED to recharge occasionally. Granted, this is only for a few hours as I haven't been away from my nursling for longer than that. I have been away from my two older kids for an entire week for my wedding/honeymoon (it was a destination wedding in Jamaica), although, our kids did come, they just stayed with my parents in their room. I could still see them any time I wanted to.

I think I'm good with being away from my kids because my oldest's father and I split when she was 5 months old. He had visitation so I HAD to be away from her for weekends at a time at a very young age, so I had to adjust. It was difficult at first, but I had no choice. I guess when my second was born (though I didn't leave him over night until he was well over a year old since he was nursing) it was easier to trust their care takers. That being said the only people I'm comfortable leaving my children with are my parents and my in laws.

[..Penelope..]

I wasn't comfortable leaving L until he was well over a year old (and that was only for a few hrs). When he was ok with solids and a sippy cup, J and I did a few lunches where we left food and almond milk for him (we never did cow milk, just yogurt and cheese once he could tolerate it).