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  • 2 Post By Cruiser

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  #1  
March 23rd, 2012, 12:30 PM
Jule'sMomInOR's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 4,856
Do you like your parents, in-laws, or other family members watch your LO's for you while you are away? Have you or would you ever consider letting them spend the night?

My mom has taken care of Juliana for us a few months at a time. With our nanny leaving, it looks like she may be here again this summer. I think she was fine taking care of a newborn but I know she has a temper and I'm not especially comfortable with her taking care of a toddler all day, for months at a time. I was/am actually more comfortable with our nanny in that regard. I also have a strict no junk food rule for Juliana and my mom does not follow this rule all the time, which makes me upset.

I know DH really wants to go on a cruise without Juliana the end of next year when she's 3 1/2 but that would mean her staying with Grandma and Grandpa for a week. I don't think I'll be up for that, but I guess that's nearly 2 years away so we'll see. Maybe we can find a 3 or 4 night cruise.
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  #2  
March 23rd, 2012, 02:28 PM
joonzgurl's Avatar Expecting #2!
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Small Town, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 4,848
Avery is not even 7 months yet, but I am not comfortable leaving her yet, with anyone. It is just a matter of me worrying about Avery wanting me and being scared than anything else. I am interested in how I will feel in the future about my MIL, since they are the only ones who will be watching her for the most part (my family lives a long way away).

I am going to guess it will bother me, and that they will pack her full of junk! DH wants to take a short trip before we have our next one (a few days in Vegas or something) and I am almost certain I will not be up for that.
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  #3  
March 23rd, 2012, 02:38 PM
angelsailor288's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Kingston, NY
Posts: 4,426
Nicholas has been babysat before, but I am in no way ready to leave him overnight any time soon. Not til he is old enough to talk and tell me what went on. Yes, I'm controlling

I would most likely leave him with Nicks aunt, who is very crunchy, but she is moving away soon So, I don't know who. My mom is diabetic and doesnt take care of herself very well so I don't trust she'd keep her sugar levels in check. Also, she doesnt listen as far as my discipline and how I put him to sleep, things like that.
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  #4  
March 23rd, 2012, 03:20 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NB, Canada
Posts: 5,592
My DD is 2 and spends one night a month at my parent's house. My mom and her have a fantastic relationship - my mom is our daycare when we're working, which is awesome. I'm off on mat leave right now (we get a year here), so my DD goes to her house every Monday for the day, and my mom comes over to help me out several times a week.

Little guy won't be spending a night away for a while since we're still nursing. I've been away for 3 hours for a job interview, and an hour for a dress fitting, that was it. He was with my mom.

I wouldn't trust my inlaws for overnight AT ALL. They've looked after my DD for a couple of hours a couple of times. Not a fan.

I do, however, see the benefit in having my children stay overnight with somebody I trust. I hate when DD is gone, but I'm so happy that she knows there is a second, safe environment for her to go to sleep in. If something ever happened to me or my DH, I feel better knowing we won't be thrusting her into a new scenario, kwim? We started her 1x/month overnights 3 months before my son was born, so that she wasn't spending her first night away from me when her little bro was arriving.

Sorry that got long-winded!!
Jule'sMomInOR and mamma_anna like this.
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  #5  
March 23rd, 2012, 03:26 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,894
i trust my mother in law, but i dont feel comfortable leaving him anyway. when she visits, she watches him so i can get some stuff done around the house and she fully respects what i want. my father in law is ok, but he snuck carlos smuckers jam while i wasn't in the room once when he was around 7 months old, wth???
my mom on the other hand is totally traditional parenting style and always questions me and what i'm doing..."aren't you going to put him down?"..and if she asks me ONE MORE TIME why i'm not stopping breastfeeding, i'm going to scream. she seriously asks every month. (she was pushing formula since birth, "he wont grow with just your breast milk, he's not going to grow". ok lady, the human race didn't survive all this time because of breast milk!.) i love her, but i dont think i could ever leave carlos with her. good thing she lives far away and i dont have to explain why i dont ask her to babysit!
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  #6  
March 23rd, 2012, 04:14 PM
mamma_anna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,953
Overnight is definitely a different issue than just a few hours during the day. I'm still not entirely comfortable with my girls being away from me at night. Both Meg and Abbey have travelled some without me (school and church sponsored trips) but I've never gone anywhere without them. I really should be better about it.

Quote:
I do, however, see the benefit in having my children stay overnight with somebody I trust. I hate when DD is gone, but I'm so happy that she knows there is a second, safe environment for her to go to sleep in. If something ever happened to me or my DH, I feel better knowing we won't be thrusting her into a new scenario, kwim?
This is a really good point.

Ellie has spent two weekends with my MIL when we really had no other option. I was sick one time and in the hospital after a car accident the other. It was emotionally very difficult for me and for Ellie but I think that had more to do with the situation than my MIL. I know she was well cared for.
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  #7  
March 23rd, 2012, 04:40 PM
MammaHutch
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In-laws. Touchy subject. I do NOT like them, at all...but neither does DH so it makes it easier for us. They have not met DS, they do not know where we live and they wont. They are pure evil. Would I let them watch DS? Not even if I was paid.
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  #8  
March 23rd, 2012, 09:26 PM
alwayssmile's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 2,775
Aiden has never been away from me overnight! Definitely not ready for it yet though my mom has hinted. Maybe next year when he's 2.5? Or maybe later? lol. Of course we live no where near our families, so they pretty much never babysit other than when we're visiting them and have something to attend that isn't kid friendly (funerals, weddings, etc).
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  #9  
March 24th, 2012, 07:08 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Weiner Dogs Rock!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Maryland
Posts: 9,575
Neither boy has slept somewhere else without me. A friend and my mom came to our house to be here with him when we had Kieran. I wanted him in his own environment, more because everything else was about to change and I wanted one less thing to worry about.

BUT, I would trust my mom entirely with one or both of my boys. She is awesome and I totally know she will care for them how I want her too. Sure, she would give them too many sweets, but she would also push the fruit and put limits when it got out of control. If I asked her to limit it to one "sweet" a day, she would balk...but listen. She is very AP and respects all of my choices. She does cloth, would make baby food, and would nurse to sleep if she could She lives three-hours away...which is the only reason Liam has not slept there alone. If she lived in town, he would prolly go once a month like Cruiser's daughter. We go up about once every two months and spend a week, so he does sleep there and hopefully will get more comfortable for overnight stays when he gets older. I am thinking probably around 4 he could handle a weekend without us. But the distance is the major hurdle.

I would be fine with my parents for daily care as well. I know if they lived closer it would be a weekly thing where I could get away for a day.

The in-laws are a slightly different story. I don't NOT trust them. But MIL is a huge whiner and also always questions my parenting. She does it really underhandedly, but still makes comments (like we should give Kieran cereal and formula so he sleeps through the night, or that when I post a picture of Kieran online that I am "ignoring" the older child). I think she would respect my requests for a short-term thing (like the morning). But I would not be cool with daily care or even an overnight visit. She is also prematurely old (although she is a lot older than my parents. DHs parents were about 35 when they had him, mine were 21), so she always has a physical complaint. I honestly don't think they would EVER ask to watch the boys for a weekend. If they come to town and I want to run out for an hour, I have to make sure DH is home because they won't watch him alone. So it is not really an issue.
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