So I am the first. Let's see if I can do this right
Monday is suggested as my Pre-baby life. So that would be the first 24 years, before I got knocked up with Liam 
So first my childhood. Which was a very good one. I have really fond memories of it. I am the oldest of three children. My younger brothers are 2.5 and 6.5 years younger respectively. (Picture: First: Us this past Thanksgiving...me, Alex (youngest) and Austin; Second: Circa 1991)
I am the product of an intact household, which I am finding is rarer and rarer these days. My parents celebrate 30 years of marriage this November. (Picture: My awesome folks!)
I also grew up with TONS of cousins. It was probably one of the best parts of my childhood. We got together (and still do) twice a year and stay in a house for a week together. We swim, catch up, and eat more food than humanly possible. I think I was very lucky and born into a really supportive and "functional" family. We truly do look out for one another. My aunts are my confidants, my cousins are my friends, and my grandparents are my role models. We aren't perfect (far from it!), but we really help each other and accept each person where they are right then. I know not everyone gets that amazing lotto of people. I shall be humble about being so blessed. (Pictures: First is circa 1991-Thanksgiving. I am second from left in a pink sweatshirt; Second is 2007 and missing a few folks...but still the same effect. I am hidden in the back, draped around my brother and blonde cousin)
I was born on December 18th. I really want to have a December baby sometime because my mom is born in December as well. So is DH and his dad. I think it would be cool. I happen to be a due-date baby, which is pretty rare (to naturally come, that is). I think it is something like 5% of babies come on their due date. I tend toward narrow margins in everything I do! I grew up in Northern Maryland...prolly lower middle class. I remember lots of playing outside, having tons of friends around (we were lucky enough to live in neighborhoods with lots of kids). We had two dogs, dachshunds and we bred them. I got to see puppies born once every few years
It was really neat and educational. I was totally a doll kid. I loved Barbies and American Girl dolls. I have all of my American Girls waiting for when/if I have a little girl. If I don't have one, my neice will certainly hit the jackpot. I was also a cheerleader
Not in high school, but before that. I did enjoy it. I am not competitive in the LEAST...so it was a good sport for that. I still keep in touch with a couple of friends that I had as a small child! (Pictures: Me as a baby...see a resemblance to my younger boy?!)
I loved school even as a kid. My favorite subjects were English and Psychology. I actually went on to get my degree in Chemical Addictions, which is an off-shoot of Psychology. I would eventually like to get my Masters in Social Work as well. But I still love to write and tend to be long-winded. I made excellent grades, which was part and parcel of OCD. But it did serve me well at the time as well. I was not a trouble maker and can not remember EVER getting in major trouble in my life. I skipped classes here and there in high school. But nothing major. I have never tried an illegal drug, been drunk, or anything that would put me "out of control." I was not super-involved in high school. I was a "floater" between lots of groups of people. I took Childcare classes, which were really fun. I have loved kids my entire life. I have helped my aunt care for her twins (they are pictured up in the family shot...I was 12.5 when they were born). I have nannied part-time for quite a few kids through the years. And then was Julia's full time nanny. I had some other odd jobs (pharmacy tech, box girl, manager of a retail store)...but I always go back to working with children. (Pictures: Me and Jules in 2007; Julia this past summer...I have permission to post her pics)
Immediately before having Liam, I was working as a drug counselor (supervised, since I had not tested and gotten certified yet...and still haven't) with pregnant addicts. It was really rewarding and quite hard. People always asked how I could do it, since they were hurting their unborn children "on purpose." But I had a unique perspective and really would love to go back working there when the kids go to school. Onto my unique perspective...
My only challenge in life thus far (besides raising kids!) has been overcoming an Eating disorder (anorexia). I was diagnosed in 2000, when I was 15. I spent six years in and out of treatment...some inpatient, some outpatient, some all the way in Canada or Florida. It was not a shining time of my life. I actually physically died in May of 2002, a week before my graduation from high school (no pics of that, I was in the hospital) and spent the next 14 months on a locked ward in a hospital. It was an eating disorder treatment ward. It was not terribly effective (aside from putting on weight). But I figured myself out a few years, and a couple other close calls, later. To be honest, as much as it sucked...I even have good memories of that. I met TONS of amazing people along the way, learned a lot about myself, and really came out better for the experiences (minus physical death...that just sucked all around). So I can't regret it. It made me a stronger person. I am still considered "in recovery" since it is a lifelong thing. But I don't really struggle with it anymore. (Picture: taken in Canada, my second-to-last round of treatment. Not my scariest pic...but you get the idea)
Onto happier things!! My hobbies before children involved going to concerts, taking some trips (mostly to the beach, nothing terribly far), and reading. Oh, and SLEEPING!! I love music (especially loud) and have been to many concerts. Before kids, my favorite "thing" was driving my cute little truck around town, blasting music. In my defense, I was only 22! Lol. I was proud of that truck because I bought it with my own money. DH still drives it
I also enjoy scrapbooking and did a lot of it before I had kids. I still work on it here and there. And I am also a dog lover (animals in general, mostly). I had two dogs living on my own and it has grown to five now! I have never known life without dogs (Pics: A beach trip in St. Marteen...no the plane was not photoshopped in; A concert in Baltimore)
So...I think that might cover "life before kids" for me. Here are some other pics that are just random parts of "me."
(My recovery tattoo, on my foot)
(Me and my cousin with two of my dogs...around 2006?)
(Me, my mom, my bros ex, and my mom's best friend in NYC)
(Our last litter of puppies...about 2 years ago)
(Me and my brother circa 1989)
Tuesday is "Love Life" and how I met DH. Here we go...
I met DH online, actually. Well...if you want to know, he was a stalker and I guess sometimes that pays off!
In Summer 2007 I was newly single (after breaking off a 15 month relationship) and DH "friend requested" me on MySpace (before Facebook was a common thing). I gave him a REALLY hard time, just for S-and-Giggles. I finally let him be my friend and we went on a few casual dates that summer. No sparks really flew or anything. If you are looking for a "swoon into his eyes" kinda love story...this ain't it! I basically faded away after the summer time and ended up back with the boyfriend I broke it off with in the Spring.
When I broke up with the ex for the second time in Feburary of 2008, Dave (DH) showed back up...chatting with me and texting me. We went on some dates that Spring and Summer, nothing serious. He used to come and hang out with my dogs while I was in class, since I worked all day and didn't want them to have to spend that much time in their crate. He was quiet, intelligent, caring toward animals, and pretty to chat with. And he was attractive in that "never gets old-Michael J. Fox" kinda way.
He came to my parent's house at Christmas time and my folks liked him. I kept telling people it was just casual. At some point that Christmas break I was looking up something on his laptop and found a file on his computer of rings (like engagement rings). That freaked me out a little. I never really saw myself as the "marrying folk." I figured I would get my degree, work in a good job for a while, buy my own place, and go about having kids the high-tech way. I don't know why, but I don't really mind being alone and I know I can be really difficult to live with. So I assumed I would probably go about things on my own. What can I say, I was raised by a feminist!!
But it didn't matter here or there. After a stint of antibiotics in early February (for my lovely reoccuring UTIs), I felt funny and my brain kept saying "Take a pregnancy test." I was smart enough to use protection WHILE I was taking the antibiotics. But after the ten days was up, I stopped using extra protection (but shoulda read the insert that said to keep using it until I started a new pack!!). Peed on a stick...Positive. I didn't really care though. I knew I could do the kid thing, even if it was earlier than expected. But I was freaked out how to tell Dave. I knew he wanted kids eventually, just we never discussed his idea of when. I told him the day I found out and said he could be as involved or not-involved as he wanted to be. It was his call. I said explicitly we were NOT getting married because I was knocked up. He agreed that he didn't want to get married for that reason...but said he wanted to get married anyway.
Since I had seen the file, I knew he was not just saying that because I was pregnant. So we went ring shopping and set a date (June 20th). I figured we had to do it before the baby came along...I knew life would get complicated then.
His version as asking me to marry him...when our rings were done being sized and he picked them up at the store. He came home and handed me the ring boxes to try on. He says "Do I have to ask?" I should have said YES!! Lol. But I let him off the hook and just said "Nah." I still tease him about it now.
Our wedding was really nice. Outside, with lots of handmade touches (my mom made my dress). I met his parents for the first time (yes FIRST!). We went to NYC for four days for our Honeymoon, which was really fun. DH had never been and I love it up there. We just walked around and did some sightseeing things.
I moved in with him when we got home from our honeymoon. He had bought a house in November 2007 and was fixing it up. So that part was easy
We have had our ups and downs. It is hard getting adjusted to married life, moving in together, and a baby all in the course of a few months (Liam was born 4 months after we were married, to the day). But we are figuring it out. We are both stubborn as mules, always think we are right (oldest children!), and have certain ways of doing things. So that adds fuel to the fire. But he still loves the dogs, is getting better with the kids, and treats me with respect...even if he doesn't know what I do all day. So I think we will be fine, especially when the craziness of not-sleeping infant days are behind us. I am so much nicer when I sleep a full night
Here are some pics:
(Down the Aisle)
(After the ceremony)
(Cutting the cake)
(I love this one of my mom and DH)
(Me and DH 2 weeks before Liam was born)
(Me and DH at his bros wedding in Sept 2010)
(And 2 weeks before Kieran was born)
I forgot to tell you all about my DH! His name is Dave. He is two years older than me. We actually are born under the same zodiac sign...which is hilarious because we are complete opposites in most ways. He is quiet, ridiculously so. He hates social events or having to make small talk. He will try to get out of most events that involve people he doesn't know well. But he is great around those he does know well. He is very technicallly oriented. He loves computers and can do just about anything with them. He is also really handy and enjoys doing stuff around the house. He pretty much can figure out how to do anything. He will just look it up online, read about it, and then try it. And he is really smart. He knows stuff about everything! He will argue to the death if he thinks he is right (which is most of the time). I think he would a cuddly bear type of husband if I was a cuddly person. He has that personna. He has one brother who is younger than him and they are pretty close. His parents drive him nuts
He loves all forms of cheese and would eat it for every meal if he could. As for work, he is the CFO at a local non-profit company. He works with 6 women
But still likes his job. It has good hours (8-4). And it is easy for him. He gets lots of respect in the company, even though he is also the youngest staff member. He is currently going to school online to get his masters degree in non-profit management. He grew up where we live now and I doubt we will ever move because of it. He hates folding laundry and cleaning potties. Which is fine because he does dishes because I hate them. So there is some about DH.
Wednesday! All about my kiddies and how I parent those little beings! I think this is gonna be my favorite day...I could talk about my boys all.day.long!!
The most important thing about my little men...they are both absolute miracles!! Sometimes I look at them and wonder what I did right in this life to have them. But that is getting ahead of myself...
First a little bit of "background": In case you were wondering, many people who struggle with eating disorders (particularly those that leave the sufferer dramatically underweight) cause permanent damage to their reproductive organs. When you put your body into premature menopause, it can cause some serious damage to the eggs, the ovaries, and your cycle in general. It is often the case where even in full recovery, the woman can not become pregnant naturally. Usually she never returns to cycling normally...or the eggs are damaged and therefore she will not concieve (even if she ovulates regularly). I did not have a period from 2000-2006..and even after that, it was not regular until 2008. I had two separate GYNs tell me they would be shocked if I could get pregnant naturally. I was just as shocked as the next person when it proved incredibly easy, and even accidental, that I became pregnant. In all fairness, I was pregnant once before Liam. With my previous boyfriend. Given my history, I did not see the need for B/C. I do not truly know how far along I was since my cycle was wonky. I only knew because I went to the doctor for "extreme bleeding" and they tested my HCG to discover I was obviously miscarrying. It was not a sad thing at the time, since I only knew once it was gone and still was not convinced I could carry a baby to term. It did make me get some B/C though!
So Liam was supposed to be here, plain and simple. He was sent to me. My pregnancy with him was easy, textbook, and perfect. I loved pregnancy, I loved birth. He was born naturally in a hospital on October 20th, 2009 at 36 weeks, 6 days. He weighed 6lbs, 10oz and was 19.5in long. Everything about him was perfect. My adjustment to being a mother was less than perfect. It was so much harder than I would have ever expected. After all, I had been with Julia since she was 2 weeks old...I thought I knew what it was about. I am not sure if that made it easier or harder (the thought that I knew what it was about). Liam was demanding, fussy, angry (he rarely ever smiled), and I was just exhausted. Honestly, his first year is a complete blur. I know he nursed for 11 months before he gave it up himself. He grew nicely once his acid reflux was diagnosed and treated at 3 months. He hit his milestones on time. But gosh...I can barely remember it! He never slept (I am NOT exaggerating when I say he was up every 30 minutes for the first 10 months of his life), he wanted to be held all the time. He squalked and screamed a lot. I punched a wall once. I know I screamed a lot (at the dogs, at DH, at Liam, at the world). I am quite sure PPD was around in some form. But starting at about a year, I realized the fog had cleared (not exactly sure when) and I was settling into motherhood. I can't say I am really that proud of the mother I was that first year. I took care of him, never hurt him or truly did anything damaging (except CIO at 10 months). I was trying to be a good mother..breastfeeding, wearing him, switching to cloth diapers, cosleeping, responding to his cries immediately. However, my patience level was very low and I just did not enjoy much of it. I wish I had known that it was just a stage and would pass so quickly. It felt like he would be that difficult forever.
DH and I had decided we wanted kids close in age and had started trying for a second (probably stupidly!) when Liam was 6 months old. We had four losses between Liam and Kieran (which I am sure added to the stress level of the second-half of his first year). Apparently it was an undiagnosed clotting disorder, which was also the cause of Liam coming early. But as soon as we treated it with blood thinners, we were pregnant with Kieran! By the time he was concieved, I was in a good place with mothering Liam. We understood each other better and I had chilled out a lot. I feel like sometime around that one-year mark things changed and I realized I was not happy with the mother I was being. So I changed some things and that put me on the path to AP. I realized how I had been somewhat ignoring my mothering instincts (CIO was a huge aspect of that and I wonder if I realized how far I went off the path right when I did that). I decided to be more responsive, more understanding, and started reading some books that would help me through.
The boys are almost 23 months apart. Kieran's pregnancy, aside from the injectable blood thinners and some stress about loss, was also easy and enjoyable. Again, I loved being pregnant. I am a fairly happy pregnant person. Kieran was stubborn from the get-go...turning sidelong breech at just shy of 37 weeks and me freaking out trying to turn him for two days before my water broke. I thought for sure he was a c-section when my water broke at 37 weeks, 2 days. BUT, he had flipped himself around and after a painful (epi-free) pitocin augmented labor, he was born on September 16th, 2011 at 8lbs, 4oz, 21.5in long. I fell in love with him immediately. I knew what kind of mother I wanted to be to him and think I have done a MUCH better job. My patience is not always great (it is a flaw of mine as a mother), but he is happier, easier, and I can respond to him gently. We cosleep, babywear, cloth diaper, breastfeed. I enjoy it all this time around. Sure, I hate that he doesn't like to sleep. But it is a minor because I know it will get better eventually. I won't get his babyhood back.
I like AP parenting because it seems natural. I hate spending time away from the boys. People would say it was because I was "controlling" or "overly attached." But it is really because I miss them when I am not with them. I wonder what they are doing or if they are learning something new every second I am gone. I like being with them. I am proud of who they are. I think it took me about a year to understand that phenomenon. I sorta hate society for making me feel guilty about wanting to be around my child. And telling me it was not normal...that I should want to "get away." I love the AP philosophies that say I didn't have kids to have the same life I had before. I did not have them as "additions to MY life"...but because I want them to BE my life now. It makes a lot of sense to me. I am far from a perfect AP mom. I still have basically no patience. I tell Liam "no" when I really *could* say yes. I get frustrated with his 2-year-old-ness and have to step back. But I am a work in progress.
Here is a little about my boys:
Liam looks and acts an awful lot like his Daddy. He is quiet (as quiet as a two-year-old gets), he does not talk a lot yet. He loves to destroy things (and sometimes puts them back together). He is very inquisitive. He wants to know how things work. He observes people and places. He learns really, really quickly and has the memory of an elephant. I think he is pretty smart. He loves being outside...basketball is a new favorite thing. He listens pretty well, especially when we are in public. He is still pretty attached to me, checking in a lot. He is cuddly, for the most part. He would eat 24-7 if I let him
He loves fruit and cheese (just like Daddy!). He loves to roughhouse (my favorite thing to do with him). He is fairly sensitive to emotions and is really empathetic. When Kieran gets hurt, he cries too (sometimes louder than Kieran). He likes his stuff 'in the right place' and will put it there if it gets moved. He hates getting his diaper changed...but shows no interest in potty learning. I think he is just a funny little guy. I can't wait til he can talk more and tell me what is on his mind!
Kieran...is so very different from Liam. He is soooo active. I can barely hold him. He wants to move and go and do things. He has been alert, smiley, and ever-moving from the day he was born (technically before that, if you count his breech turns). He knows what he wants and will find a way to get it, but he is easy-going at the same time. If I redirect him, he will just find something new to set his sights on. He is so social, smiles at anyone who smiles at him. He talks all day long...babble, babble, babble. I think he is gonna be my daredevil and keep me on my toes. I have the feeling he will basically ignore me when I tell him no and will have no fear of life. I am concerned for when he starts walking!! He does love to sleep with me, which I am enjoying to the best of my ability. He is still little (barely). He is my little hoss. He is going to take after my brother, who is 6'6''. I can't wait to watch who he becomes. Oh, and he looks just like me...which I kinda love. My one thing I wanted when I was pregnant with him (besides a kid who slept...FAIL!) was a brown-eyed boy. And here he is!
Pics of my guys:
(Liam right after he was born)
(Liam at 4 months)
(Liam at 11 months)
(Liam and me at 17 months)
(Right after I delivered Kieran)
(Kieran at 2.5 months)
(At Christmas...Liam just over 2, Kieran 4 months)
(Recently)
(Whew...you get a cookie if you make it through all that!!)
JustMommies Message Boards
» Parenting
» Attachment Parenting
»
I AM MOTW ;) Here we go...(It's gonna be long...I am wordy)
7Likes
I guess the need to nurse is strongly ingrained in some and in others, not so much. One of my friends said her DS self-weaned at 13 months so that's not that much different.
Linear Mode
