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I was born in Tarrytown, NY on May 1, 1988 at 6:01pm. My father was 19 (he turned 20 twelve days after I was born) and my mother was 23. My father was a teenage runaway with failed dreams of being a rock star. He worked in the heating and AC business but partied like he was in Van Halen until he finally got sober when I was in 6th grade. My mom was a SAHM who formula fed me from birth but never did CIO and we frequently co-slept. We moved to Connecticut when I was in first grade. My sister was born when I was a few months shy of 6 years old. I was not pleased. I was a total ham and the only child in the family, and although very shy, I enjoyed being the center of attention. My sister and I fought constantly and did not get along until a couple years ago. She was born legally blind and lost vision completely in one eye when she was in Kindergarten. My mom home schooled her from 7th grade on. I became a vegetarian sometime in elementary school and I've been vegetarian ever since.
My mom and dad with me at my 1st birthday party.
Me being a ham with my godmother and mom at one of my birthday parties.
Dorky soccer picture.
I was an excellent student and loved learning. I played soccer and was a member of winterguard. My passion was creative writing and literature. I was top of my class and scored in the top 1% on the SATs. Then mental illness set in. I battled depression, severe OCD, anxiety, eating disorders, and self-harm. My first hospitalization occurred when I was 14 or 15. My father left my mother when I was 16 very unexpectedly. We lost our house and I lost my faith in just about everything. I threw away my grades. I ended up graduating early and moving to NYC where I went to school for creative writing when I managed to get out of bed. I got caught up with some East Village delusions of being the love child of James Dean and Jack Kerouac. When I managed to turn in papers they would be streaked with eyeliner and stained with absinthe. Eventually I got my act together a little and managed to score a great job in web publishing focusing on copywriting and SEO. I worked as a nanny for a US magistrate and did a few modeling gigs on the side for extra cash. After a disastrous breakup with a longtime abusive boyfriend, I went into an emotional tailspin again and ended up moving back home and relapsing with my eating disorder. I needed inpatient treatment again. I really set my mind on recovering and living a cleaner lifestyle. I no longer drink, smoke, or party. I stopped writing and my hobby became reading and studying Russian and French literature.
Picture of me after a poetry reading back in college.
Oh, and I'm kind of obsessed with cats. When I was a kid my best friend was my cat (I was so painfully shy...). She passed away when I was in college and I adopted 2 cats shortly after and they are really a part of the family.
My two cats, Audrey (the tabby) and Abby (who is actually a boy). They are from the same litter.
Wow. Do you know why your sister was born legally blind?
The eating disorder must have been so hard. No wonder your grades dropped. It sounds like you are super smart! I can tell you are very pretty as well! I'm glad you have recovered and started living a cleaner lifestyle.
Oh my gosh Evelyn is your spitting image!! WOW! Now off to read the rest just had to say that lol
This can be for your Thurs question.. just before I forget..
How did you like living in the city vs upstate? I live upstate and only like visiting NYC.
It's so weird because so many people say she looks just like my DH haha.
I am not sure if I should wait until Thursday to answer, but I'm stuck in bed with a sleeping baby on me so I'll answer now haha! I loved living in NYC in college. I don't drive so it was great being able to take subways everywhere. It was also great having pizza places open til 5am and 24/7 places open on almost every block. I was always super anxious when I lived there though. I couldn't afford an apartment in a nice area, so I lived in some really dangerous neighborhoods at times and one of the apartments was broken into and robbed in the middle of the day. I don't think I would ever move back, especially now that Evelyn's in the picture. I love visiting though! It's definitely too fast-paced for me now.
Wow. Do you know why your sister was born legally blind?
The eating disorder must have been so hard. No wonder your grades dropped. It sounds like you are super smart! I can tell you are very pretty as well! I'm glad you have recovered and started living a cleaner lifestyle.
Aw thanks! Well, they tested her for everything and the only thing they can figure out is her eye shape and something to do with pressure (I've never been to her doctor's appointments so I hear the info in broken layman's terms from my mom ). They ruled out genetic conditions. She had very, very large eyes and looked like a doll. Her retina in one eye detached in kindergarten and her eye couldn't withstand the surgeries and she went completely blind in that eye. The doctors say the same thing will happen in the other eye. They didn't know she was legally blind until she was 3.
Yeah, thats how I feel about Albany.. my friends are up there for college and it is amazing be able to call and have Chinese food delivered at 4am lol. But I enjoy the suburbs.
My husband and I first went to school together in 6th grade, but we didn't meet until 7th grade. We had the same homeroom and a lot of classes together, but we weren't friends. We were both painfully shy. There was always something alluring about him. I had many crushes over the years, but there was something different about him. We talked a little in high school and shared some mutual friends but we really didn't know each other. He was in special ed classes (he has Asperger's Syndrome), I was in AP classes, so we rarely crossed paths. His friends were all rowdy and always getting suspended, so I kept my distance.
A few years after graduation, he sent me a friend request on Facebook. It was actually the same day that I broke up with my longtime abusive boyfriend (just a coincidence that it was the same day, he didn't know). I was surprised to see that his interests were so similar to mine. We both liked old movies, history, and Russian literature. We would talk a little online and we were both happy to find someone to talk to about our obsessions. I started crushing on him, but I was battling my demons and I knew it would be the wrong time to get involved in a relationship. Eventually I felt recovered enough to tell him how I felt but I was painfully shy. I was still unsure of myself and not sure how to talk to people while sober. So I did something very embarrassing. I sent him an anonymous Honesty Box message saying I liked him. Yeah, real mature, I know. Anyway, it took me two weeks after I sent the message to finally have enough courage to message him and tell him that it was me that sent the message. Well, lame as it was, it worked-- he asked me out on a date.
I spent the day at my best friend's house getting ready for the date and I kept saying that something in my gut felt different, that this night was going to change my life forever. My friends kept giving me a strange look. I spent the whole day nervous and shaking. I think I even got sick a few times, and changed my outfit at least ten times. We went out and saw an Argentinian film and went out to dinner. I was still in recovery for my eating disorder and it was my first time eating out in many years, and my first real meal in years. I felt at ease with him though.
On our second date I looked into his eyes and I knew he was "the one". I told him I felt scared. He replied "because it's our second date and you already know you want to marry me? Yeah, I feel that too." We got married a few months after. We didn't have a wedding. We were both shy and our families didn't approve, so we didn't see a sense. We said our vows in the town hall at night in front of a beautiful grandfather clock.
Although we have our issues, I wake up every morning next to him and feel certain I made the right choice. He is sensitive and has a level of raw honesty and sincerity that is rare in today's world. He is supportive and we still love spending hours talking to each other about our nerdy obsessions.
You two make a very cute couple. That's too funny about the Honesty Box. I wonder if you would have gotten together if you hadn't taken that first step. I was the more forward one with my DH also, and that is not typical of me because I am also shy.
I got my BFP sometime in the first few days of October 2010. I was told at the age of 6 that I could never get pregnant due to a complicated appendix operation. My appendix ruptured and the doctor kept telling my mother I was fine and faking it and to send me to school. I sat with a ruptured appendix for 2 weeks. My mom decided to take me to the ER despite the doctor’s wishes when I continuously bled from my nose and then started bleeding from my mouth and eyes. When I got there I was septic and they rushed me into an emergency surgery. They told my parents that if they waited even a couple more hours to bring me in, I would have died. They had to remove a lot though, and one of my ovaries was beyond saving. Anyway, yeah, I was told there was a very slim chance I could ever get pregnant, plus with the damage I did to my body from years of eating disorders, it looked like I would never have kids. DH also had surgery on his reproductive parts as a child and as a teenager and was told that he would likely battle infertility as well. Soooo yeah, to say we were shocked at the BFP would be an understatement.
My pregnancy was not fun. I had hyperemesis and couldn’t hold anything down, not even water. I ended up way below my pre-pregnancy weight and lost a tooth from being so sick. I was hospitalized twice and the second time they found out that I have the autoimmune disorder Graves’ Disease and hyperthyroidism. I was put on medication to treat my thyroid and it really helped— I was able to hold (most) things down for the second half of my pregnancy.
For most of my pregnancy I planned on formula feeding, putting her in her crib, having a strict schedule and most TP things. I think I was just bored one day and started reading blogs. It was babywearing that appealed to me at first and kind of led me into all things AP. I made the decision to breastfeed a couple weeks before Evelyn was born.
On June 10, 2011, Evelyn Keira was born vaginally after one failed induction and every intervention you can imagine short of a c-section (the doctor was actually going to send me for a c-section after she got back from lunch if I still didn’t progress… well I went from 4cm to 10cm while she was at lunch and she barely had time to put on her lab coat before catching her). Breastfeeding was hard at first. I had no idea what I was doing. I’m the kind of person to research everything and breastfeeding was such a last minute decision so I felt completely lost. I wanted to give up. I gave her a few bottles of formula in the middle of the night. No one in my family breastfed, so they weren’t any help. My husband was the one that pushed me to stick with it, and I am so grateful for that! Here we are still breastfeeding at 10 months! Co-sleeping and babywearing came naturally with a colicky baby that wanted to be attached to the boob 24/7. Now at 10 months, Evelyn no longer has colic but still loves to be held and carried as much as possible, which has resulted in an ever-expanding babywearing stash and a side-car crib that rarely gets used. She is the most snuggly, animated baby and loves having her picture taken and being an adorable ham.
So far motherhood has been amazing and has changed me in so many ways. I love when Evelyn acts bashful and hides her face in my shoulder when meeting someone new. I love watching her laugh in her sleep or make farting noises like she’s currently doing while I’m trying to type this. She really is an amazing little girl and I feel so, so proud to be her mommy and I try to remember to tell her that every day, especially on the days when she has me pulling my hair out.
When you found out you were pregnant, besides the shock were you mostly happy or terrified?
Do you plan to have any more kids?
I was definitely mostly terrified at first. It probably took about 2 weeks for the shock and terror to subside and for me to start feeling excited. It didn't really hit me just how lucky I was to be able to have her after everything that happened until I held her for the first time.
Right now we're pretty certain we're done at one. We haven't taken any permanent measures to ensure that yet though. Pregnancy was just not for me, and I don't think I can handle having hyperemesis again, especially since I'd have to take care of Evelyn this time. I know it's not a guarantee that I would have hyperemesis, but with an overactive thyroid, it's likely that I would have it again
Omgosh she is so adorable. I love the photo where you can see the side car crib in the back.
So, what exactly is Aspergers? How does it make your husband different? Is there an increased possibility that Evelyn could develop it?
How is she doing with the bearing weight on the legs?
You mentioned that your families did not approve of the marriage- are they supportive now and in Evelyn's life?
Asperger's is on the autism spectrum. Some people argue that it isn't any different than high functioning/low-level autism but that's a big can of worms, lol. Social things don't come naturally to him and had to be learned, so often he can come across as mechanical to others. He's unable to read between the lines. You have to be extremely literal with him. He has obsessions (mainly history) that can at times take over his life. They do think there is a genetic link, just like with autism, and the child could fall anywhere on the spectrum. Asperger's, however, is far more common in males than females.
She's doing better! She had an appointment to be evaluated for entry into the state program for developmental delays but I actually just cancelled it today because in the past week she's come SO far! She is almost crawling and even though she can't hold up her weight enough to pull up, she's really getting there!
They are supportive of Evelyn and in her life. I know my mom still isn't the biggest fan of my DH, but for the most part everyone tries to be civil for the sake of Evelyn.
3Likes
). They ruled out genetic conditions. She had very, very large eyes and looked like a doll. Her retina in one eye detached in kindergarten and her eye couldn't withstand the surgeries and she went completely blind in that eye. The doctors say the same thing will happen in the other eye. They didn't know she was legally blind until she was 3.
Too cute!
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