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Preparing toddlers for siblings?


Forum: Attachment Parenting

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  #1  
April 23rd, 2012, 02:21 PM
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Does anyone have suggestions about how to prepare Claire for her siblings? She'll be about 26-27 months when they arrive, and she is very used to being the center of our world...I'm worried that she will have a really hard time adjusting to sharing us. We talk about the babies, but I have no idea how much she comprehends. I'm open to any and all suggestions to make the transition easier!
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  #2  
April 23rd, 2012, 04:47 PM
alwayssmile's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Me too!
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  #3  
April 23rd, 2012, 05:18 PM
Destiny
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I watched videos with Eliana, videos of peaceful births and breastfeeding. I feel like she was too little too get it, but there was only an 18 month spacing. She's 2 now and I still feel like she only gets part of everything I say.
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  #4  
April 23rd, 2012, 06:28 PM
noworries
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Watch videos, read books about being a big sister, get her a doll and show her how to be gentle with the doll. When baby gets here, let her help out as much as possible (like getting a diaper when baby needs a diaper change).

I might still have a couple of books about becoming a big sister (I can't remember if we still have them or not). I'll look and see and if you want them I can send them to you.
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  #5  
April 23rd, 2012, 06:43 PM
KiwiMommy's Avatar Ashlynn's Mama
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I talk about her baby brother a LOT. We've watched videos on youtube of newborns (so she isn't expecting a 2 year old playmate to pop out) and we play "baby" with her toys. I've diapered them and snuggled them and put them to bed..
We recently babysat a 2 month old and I expected her to be extremely jealous of the baby. Instead, she came over to kiss baby and hug baby and told baby "It's okay, Baby" when the baby was crying. And I held the baby almost the entire time I babysat..nearly 4 hours! She didn't care in the least. I'm hoping it's a good sign, since she will be 2 1/2 when her brother arrives. I intend to let her participate in anything possible, including bathing him, changing him, soothing him, etc. Pretty much everything but feeding, since he will be 100% breastfed until 7 or 8 months old. I feel that if she is involved, it will be harder for her to feel jealous.
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  #6  
April 24th, 2012, 06:49 AM
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Love the idea of You Tube videos! Great thinking!
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  #7  
April 24th, 2012, 11:08 AM
RUNNER25's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My oldest was 23 months old when the baby came along. Colin was also the center of our world, so I was so scared about the transition. It went pretty smooth, except sometimes when I'd be holding Miles or feeding him and he would point to the ground and say "baby down." He got over it quickly though.

My DH made sure to spend lots of time playing and having fun with Colin (since I was usually breastfeeding Miles). And when I wasn't feeding Miles I made sure to give Colin lots of extra mommy time and snuggles.
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  #8  
April 24th, 2012, 11:17 AM
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^^mine are pretty much that same exact spacing. I expected it to be harder than it was. Liam did not show (and doesn't show) any jealousy toward the baby. He loves him! A first he tended to avoid me when I was holding or nursing kieran (unless he had no option). I just tried to give him special attention (bedtime was our time, I spent lots of time talking and rocking him before bed) and he got over the avoiding pretty quickly. The first three weeks were hard...but it has been so much easier than I thought it would be.

To prepare him, we "visited" babies and read books. He got a doll (had NO interest in it) and talked about what big brothers get to do (help bathe baby, get diapers, give him toys, kiss his head, etc). I mean, he didn't seem to care about the prep work at all. I do believe it is really hard for a child that young to really comprehend what is about to happen. I just did my best to keep his life stable during the birth and when he came home. And the adjustment was not so bad. I think Claire will be fine, it will just take some patience
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  #9  
April 26th, 2012, 07:55 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks for the tips, ladies!
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  #10  
April 27th, 2012, 07:19 AM
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I'm taking notes, ladies Thank you for your advice!
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