Hey ladies. Sorry this took me so long to write, we are moving tomorrow and I have been super busy today!
But here I go!
For starts, here is me. I think I am like 4ish...
My childhood. Hmm, how was it? It was ok until I was 12 years old when it got real bad but I will start with the good stuff first.
Well for starters I am from NYC, Staten Island. I am the oldest, one of 4, and I am the only girl. My youngest brother Zack is 16 years younger then me. I remember when my mom got pregnant I was like WHAAATTTTTT!! Raymond is 5 years younger then me and Andrew is 7 years younger then me.
Here is Me, Raymond and Andrew. LONG before Zack was here.
My mom was a SAHM but also cut hair on the side. She would have clients come to our home. My father was a truck driver so I NEVER saw him. Like we would go weeks without seeing him and that was really tough on me and my brothers. I loved my Dad so much and the fact that I could never see him broke my heart. I remember when I was little I would be laying in bed trying to sleep and I would hear a truck and I would jump up and look out my window and it was never my Dad and I would cry. I really didn't start seeing him until I was like 16, and even then it was only on the weekends. I was always mad at him for never being home, but as I got older I understood. Here is a picture of me and my Dad the night before my wedding.
Something I treasure.
Here is me and my mom
P.S. Its hard to write about me!
Ok, My Mom and Dad got married when I was 5. They were together since their teens but with my Dads work a wedding was just not something on the agenda. I was the flower girl and Raymond was tiny so he was just carried around. lol It's so funny, I will be 28 and I remember that day like it was yesterday. My mom looked gorgeous, she was just so happy. My Dad looked amazing. There was like 500 people there. It was HUGE!
In the 3rd grade I tried out for the band and got in. I played the trumpet. I continued to play it all throughout high school. Was in the marching band and played / marched in every big holiday parade in the city. Some of my fondest memories. I also started dancing school in the 3rd grade and karate (which I only did until the yellow belt). I did dancing school until I was 16. I did tap, jazz and hip hop.
In the 5th grade I was the newspaper editor for the schools newspaper. I was the ONLY girl so I got favored by my teacher. It was awesome!
I was also on the soccer, basketball and dodge ball team. I was also a cheer leader and a hallway monitor. At the end of the day I had to leave 20 minutes early and go down the hall into the kindergarten classrooms and help them get ready to go home.
Towards the end of the 5th grade things started to get "weird" for lack of words. My Mom started to not come home and my Dad was on the road so all of the sudden it was just me and my 2 brothers. It got to the point where I stopped going to school (until letters started coming home and my Mom was notified) and I became a "mom". I cooked, cleaned, and even rode my bike with Drew on the seat so he could hold my waist , I stood up to pedal and Ray sat on the handle bars. I did this for a couple weeks. I went home after I rode them to school and I did laundry, cleaned and made lunches for the next day. I was basically an 11 year old mother. I started to hate my life, and my Mom and I started to care alot more about my brothers.
At night, my brothers would crawl into bed with me and we would all sleep together. Then what felt like months my Mom came home...with some random guy...and I did not like him. He seemed mean. Then my Dad came home the next day, it was in the middle of the night. He came into my room and sat on the edge of my bed and I woke up to him staring at me and he was crying. That was the first day I seen my father cry. Still haunts me to this day. He said to me "I love you but I am not sure when I will see you again..." and he left. I did not know what to do, think or how to react. I cried myself to sleep and never saw my Dad again...until I was like...14ish...I was so mad at him when he came home but as years went by he told me that my Mom told him to not come back and he did that. I forgive him now.
But back to my moms "guy friend"...his name was Bob. He was a jacka$$. We lived in a 3 bedroom home, with a yard, driveway, the whole nine. And my Mom came home one day and put us kids in the car and I never saw my home again. She moved us into a studio apartment...yes all of us 3 kids and her and "him". I hate saying his name. My brother Ray started to act out bad, trouble with the cops, doing bad in school and even jail time. Drew was always the good one and to this day he is my best friend. We live 2700 miles apart and we talk everyday. But things, just got weird...us 3 slept together on the floor of a walk in closet. My mom married that man...and we started to hear physical abuse. It got so bad that I would have Ray on one side of me and Drew on the other and I would put their heads against my sides and cover their ears with my other hands and I would sing to them so they would not hear what was going on.
Ya know, life for me was kinda a blur. There was so much abuse until I moved out that sometimes talking about it makes me really depressed, so if this does not make sense please bare with me.
After they got married we moved into a 4 bedroom home and in 2001 my Mom had Zack. Whom I love with all my heart. Im thankful for him everyday. He suffers from some brain trauma and PTSD at 11 years old but he does ok.
From the time we all moved into that house the abuse got worse. My step father was always in and out of jail. It was just bad. The abuse was not only done to my mom, but to us as well. Zack does and did not ever call him "Dad" he actually calls my real father Dad as he knows him more.
But to get to the happy stuff I will wrap this up.
The abuse got so bad that when I turned 17 I moved across the country with my bf at the time and never came back. It got to be too much. I remember that day, when I left Zack was 2 at the time and he sat in the window and cried. Heartbreaking. Over the years I would get phone calls from my brothers telling me how bad things were and how messed up Mom was getting.
Years went by, crap was not changing. I was working at Walmart in 2008 and my boss came up to me and said my mom was on the phone and it was an emergency. I just KNEW everything was NOT ok. I get on the phone and she said to me "It's over" WHATS OVER!?!?! Im like freaking out. "Its over Jess, Bob died this morning." Is it wrong to say I shed tears of happiness? I got on a plane that night and flew home. It was one of the hardest things I have EVER done. When I left my mom was gorgeous. When I saw her walking to get my luggage she had no teeth, her nose had been broken and she was skinny. I think a part of me died that day.
I was always mad at my mom for allowing all of this to happen to us but I now forgive her. My ex that I drove across the country with, I was with him for 6 1/2 years and it was abusive. I thank my husband everyday for "saving" me because I feel that he did. I left my ex for David and I know if I never met him I would be in a hole somewhere.
Im 27 now, Ray is 21, Drew is 20 and Zack is 11. Zack and my mom are here in Arizona with me. After he died they wanted to get away so they took a bus here. Mom got teeth and is amazing now. I love that woman to death. Ray and Drew still live back home in NYC with my father. They are all doing really well. My Dad now flies to AZ to see me 2 times a year. And we just recently drove there and stayed with them for 6 weeks. He is so good with Drake. Here are my boys. My father, brothers Ray and Drew, my husband on the floor, Dave and Drake. This was taken last month.
Life is good now. I will leave it at that. I have had a very hard life but it made me who I am today. And I am blessed with a beautiful son and husband.
Education?
I am a CNA, RMA, I've got my phlebotomy certificate and I am a licensed EKG technician. But I am a SAHM.
I was in the medical field for 6 years and it just burnt me out. 2 years before having Drake I was a preschool teacher. I loved it, but I would rather be home with my baby and the fact that I can makes it that much better.
SShhh, dont tell anyone. I am addicted to WoW. World of Warcraft. But you will hear more of that tomorrow.
Here is a picture of Zack and Drake. This was taken about 2 weeks ago.
Here is me and Drew and Drake. Drew is my closest brother if you remember.
Here is Ray and Drake.
Me and my parents, on my wedding day.
Here is me pre Drakey
Pre Drakey life is really simple. I was a preschool teacher and literally all DH and I did was play WoW. Like literally, 12 hours a day or more.
I hope you enjoyed for today!!
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Big thanks to him for his service.
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