[Jule'sMomInOR]

Let's face it, as AP parents we give a lot of ourselves to our kids and sometimes there's not much left for our SO. What tips do you have for keeping your relationship strong and keeping the spark alive?

[Jule'sMomInOR]

For us, I think it really, really helps to spend time just the two of us. The problem is that we rarely get to do that. My mom is going to be here this summer, though, so we are going to have some dinners out every now and then. Also, we may get the chance to snuggle up and watch movies while my mom is playing with Juliana outside.

I was hoping someone who is better at this than me would have some tips. I really have not been especially attentive to DH for the last couple of years and I hope to get better about it as Juliana becomes more independent. It certainly will help that she STTN most of the time.

[HappyHippy]

We have alone time every night when the kids go to bed. They go to bed between 7 and 8 pm so that leaves plenty of time for just us. We also make sure to talk every day, especially at the dinner table.

[ashj_1218]

Hahahahahaha...I fail!

This is one area that just gets neglected in my house. Me and DH dont have a ton in common (as far as hobbies or activities) and with the lack of time, we don't really cultivate our relationship. I figure that the kids are only little for a short period of time and we will have time to work on "us" as they get older and more independent. We do talk, often and about everything, so that helps keep the lines of communication open. But we don't do dates or anything right now. And it might be a while before it happens!

But I will certainly read what others do to keep it alive...ya never know what might strike a chord

[mgm78]

i have no advice, our marriage has pretty much fizzled out. i am really working hard, but DH does not like leaving DD with a sitter, going out, etc. Sigh. it is a long road. we were best friends before DD was born

[alwayssmile]

We just don't see each other. Honestly, it's all due to DH's job and not due to DS. Since DH is living his dream, I don't hold it against him. I encouraged him to go after this!
When we can spend time with each other we don't mind dragging DS with us at all. He's an unusual kid who is fantastic in restaurants, so we're still able to talk and enjoy each other as a couple. We like to do miniature golf together or browse books stores (we try to find the most ridiculous books lol). We just throw DS on a back, put a hood up, and the kid sleeps the whole time. One thing that has helped us out with intimacy (not just sex) is that we always sleep naked. Sex doesn't happen a lot, but we still get that intimate touch at night.

[KiwiMommy]

Though Ashlynn isn't his biological child, we do parent her together so it does "dim" the spark sometimes. We just spend a lot of time together when she is in bed. Granted it means I don't sleep a ton some nights because we will be laying in bed to go to sleep and just talk..then next thing you know it's 4am! 3hrs later, Ash is awake. When baby gets here, we will probably cuddle with him together or when he's in his crib (sidecarred to our bed) we will cuddle and talk with him beside us sleeping (if he ever sleeps )
Right now we don't have trouble reconnecting at the end of the day. When baby comes, we might. I'm not sure.

[breathing for two]

I think it really depends on the guy, but the things that really help us are long walks and doing nice things for each other.
DH absolutely loves it when I buy things for him or make a special meal, and he'll do dishes or offer to watch the kids so I can have some me time. The little things, good or bad, really do stack up. We're both willing to work on our relationship, and as a result we're still going strong.

[Mod-navywifey2003]

I dunno we still have an amazing spark. It helps that he goes away a lot haha. But we havent lost anything I dont think.

[KMH]

We go through phases...for a while we are really good at working at our relationship and keeping things interesting, and then we go through times when we're just overwhelmed with life and work and kids and it just doesn't happen. We try to have some "us" time every night when Claire goes to bed to snuggle or watch TV or just talk. We try to do nice things for each other (not gift-giving, but leaving notes for each other, etc.).

Honestly we could use some work in this department, and with the twins coming, it is only going to get more difficult

[angelsailor288]

Its been a challenge having a baby thats for sure (on our relationship). But for the most part we are doing really well. We have our arguments but not too often.

We dont really see each other except on the weekends because of Nicks work schedule. If its nice we try to get out to the range and do some shooting together, since it doesnt cost that much lol. We keep talking about seeing a matinee movie but never do it. Maybe on a rainy day.

[kathydavid]

Talk. I know it sounds simple, but try to have actual discussions as often as you can. I find that making sure that there's time for a back and forth is incredibly helpful.

[joonzgurl]

We are struggling. I feel like we have nothing to talk about! Nothing important anyways. We really need to work on it. I find myself angry at so many things, like when he won;t put her in her pj's when I ask, or wash the dishes, etc.

I think I need to read some Dr. Laura to help me be a better wife. I feel like a lot of it is my fault, that if I were different things would be better, and that is not a very healthy way to feel.