[Jule'sMomInOR]

My DH gets a sabbatical every 7 years, which is an additional 8 weeks of vacation. I don't get one, but it still helps us because the year he takes that, I can devote my full 4 weeks of vacation to a trip and not have to worry about using some to visit his family, saving some for when our nanny is unavailable, etc. He's been eligible to take it since last year but we found out he can postpone it up to 3 years, so the latest he can take it is July 2014. I'm trying to figure out what to do and I need to figure it out within the next 6 months or so because usually these reservations for big trips like this are booked a year in advance and depending on what we do, some things are better in certain seasons (for example if we go to New Zealand it will probably be in November 2013).

I was trying to come up with ideas for trips that would be fun with Juliana and was complaining to DH that it's so hard to find stuff to do with toddlers. His response was that we should just not take her. She will be approximately 3 1/2 when we go. It's really hard to know how I will feel about leaving her at this age but I think I would be fine with being gone a little while. However, we are talking about being gone at least 2 1/2 weeks and maybe 3 weeks. That is an awfully long time to be gone. I know my mom loves her to death but I'm not completely comfortable leaving her there for this long. On the other hand, I know it would do wonders for our marriage for us to reconnect. And traveling is one of our passions in life, which we have not done much of since the baby. I think Juliana might actually have more fun staying with Grammy and going to Disney world than if she were with us being dragged on sightseeing tours, but there are a few fun activities on the cruise ships for kids on days at sea.

Another thing that is bothering me is that I'll be so far away and unreachable. Let's say Juliana falls and breaks her leg. It could happen when I am going to be at sea for the next 2 days and then even when I get to port I'll be all the way in New Zealand, so it could potentially be 4 or 5 days before I could get back to her.

We took Juliana and my mom on a Caribbean cruise and my mom babysat but that is just not in the budget given that we would have to pay for 2 extra plane tickets plus an extra cabin or get a really expensive suite and it would double the cost of an already costly vacation.

Any thoughts?

[Cruiser]

Well, we weren't gone for nearly that long, but I just took my 2 (aged almost 2 1/2 and 6 months, at the time) for a week in the Dominican. We had SO MUCH FUN. I just wouldn't enjoy myself without my children for a long period of time. A week max, maybe, but they are little for such a short time, I wouldn't want to be away. Plus there are tons of fun things to do with children! They just make the trip different than what you are used to. You'd have to plan differently, of course, but different doesn't equal not enjoyable.

[Jule'sMomInOR]

Originally Posted by Cruiser

Well, we weren't gone for nearly that long, but I just took my 2 (aged almost 2 1/2 and 6 months, at the time) for a week in the Dominican. We had SO MUCH FUN.

What did you do?? Please tell me all about it.

I'm sure Juliana would have lots of fun with your mom but I just wouldn't be able to leave for that long without my kids. I might be able to do a week but even that would be pushing it. Eva has spent about 4 days away from us (with nana and papa) and she is 4 years old and that is about as much as we can handle. She starts to miss us and we miss her.

[KMH]

I can't see us ever leaving Claire for that long...it just isn't something I can see myself doing no matter what the reason. Family vacations are something I have always looked forward to with kids of my own, so I'd find something that would be fun for everyone.

Maybe before or after the vacation you could have a weekend away with DH while Juliana stays with Grandma? It wouldn't have to be an expensive or extravagant trip, just something for the two of you to spend some time reconnecting.

[Cruiser]

Originally Posted by Jule'sMomInOR

What did you do?? Please tell me all about it.

We did the typical all-inclusive thing. Like I said it was only for a week, so definitely different than what you're looking at. We spent a lot of time walking on the beach collecting shells and making sand castles and playing in waves, pool time of course, we went on a shopping trip to buy local stuff. We also went on a day-long excursion to see how the locals live, how coffee and chocolate are produced, and ended with bodysurfing at a beach. We ate a lot of food, and discovered the joys of fine dining with a 2 year old.

I really had wanted to go to Santo Domingo but it was a 12-hour excursion from where we were and that might have been pushing it for the older kiddo, so we didn't go.

[HappyHippy]

Does it have to be that long? Why not a week alone just the two of you and then another mini vacay with the family?

I couldn't leave for 3 weeks, I don't think I can do 2 weeks. But it's just not us to do things only by ourselves. We like doing family vacations. My thought is that we had years before we had kids and we'll have plenty of time once the kids are all grown up to do those things, kids are so young for such a small time.

[angelsailor288]

When I was a toddler until I was a teenager I spent every summer (the entire 2 months off of school), and any other vacations or free time with my cousins in New Jersey (I lived in New York). I missed my parents but at the same time it was soooooo much fun.

However being a parent, I could never be away from Nicholas that long. I dont know how my parents did it.

[lrowe70]

Oh my goodness I can't imagine being gone even a weekend without my baby.
We too love to travel and cruise, so we only look at family friendly vacations. This summer we're possibly cruising to Bermuda and spending a few weeks in the northeast, or traveling the Pacific Northwest and cruising Alaska. Either way, we're finding ships and hotels that are fine for a toddler.

Of course only you know what is best for your family. If you feel you and your husband need the time for the sake of your marriage, then by all means, take it.

[Jule'sMomInOR]

Originally Posted by HappyHippy

Does it have to be that long? Why not a week alone just the two of you and then another mini vacay with the family?

I couldn't leave for 3 weeks, I don't think I can do 2 weeks. But it's just not us to do things only by ourselves. We like doing family vacations. My thought is that we had years before we had kids and we'll have plenty of time once the kids are all grown up to do those things, kids are so young for such a small time.

If we go to Australia/New Zealand by cruise, the shortest is 12 days and there are many that are 14-18 days. If we went with the 12 day one, we'd still need a day each way for travel plus we'd need to plan to get there a couple of days before the cruise because if the flight is delayed and we miss the cruise, we're SOL. Yes, there are plenty of shorter vacations but anything on our bucket list is about this long (and plus we wouldn't be taking advantage of 8 weeks off to do something that lasts a week).

I pretty much told DH that even projecting out to age 3 1/2 I don't think I would be comfortable leaving Juliana for so long but we could consider a weekend by ourselves or possibly up to a week. His response was that I need to cut the umbilical cord at some point. And then he went on the cruiseline's website and saw that it would actually cost 2.5 times as much to bring her than just us (because we can get away with a small room for the two of us but not if we bring her). *Sigh*. I really think I can't leave her for that long though, but I'm not sure there is a good solution to this "problem".

DH often pressures me to leave the kids for a longer vacation just the 2 of us too. It's just easier for him I guess to be away from the kids. I just can't do it yet and until I can, he's just gonna have to deal with it.

[alwayssmile]

At that age I'd be okay with a week, but not longer and not being soooo far away where it would be difficult to get back. I've pretty much decided that all vacations will be family vacations for awhile since #2 is on the way. Till then DH and I are planning and refining out dream vacation once the kids are all older and we feel comfortable leaving them with grandparents.

[joonzgurl]

Hmm, thats rough that he feels you need to "cut the umbilical cord".

I agree with many of the others, I probably wouldn't go that far/for that long. There will be plenty of time for that when Julianna is 5, 6, or older to do that. When she can fully understand what is going on.

I know it would suck for him not to take his 8 weeks when he can, or not to use them for a long trip, but there are other things he can do with those 8 weeks right? You guys could use them to explore your own back-yard, take julianna on a cross country road trip, heck, even come to Canada!

I'd save the long/far away trips for when she is older, and just do something you can do with her now.

[Jule'sMomInOR]

Well, I have some good news. I joined a site called "Cruise Critic" and spend some time on there learning about the Australia/NZ cruises and found out there are some of the more affordable cabins that have a fold out bed and found a few options that would work for a reasonable price. I also found out which lines are best at catering to kids and found some excursions that will be good for her. I think this might work! DH still wants to save $ and get to do more than we would if she were there but I think he's starting to realize it's not happening and give up.

[jhryerson]

Another here who would never think of leaving my kids behind - I love vacations with the kids, it adds a whole new perspective.

Just another option to throw out there, could Gammy or someone else go with you guys then you can leave DD with her for some nights out alone, or even some day trips but you'd still have the family holiday experience.

Have fun, Australia and New Zealand are beautiful parts of the world and well worth visiting.