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Yet another bedtime from h*ll- vent (long)


Forum: Attachment Parenting

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  #1  
May 5th, 2012, 10:07 PM
joonzgurl's Avatar Expecting #2!
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Small Town, Alberta, Canada
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Urgh. I just need to know. Does everyone go through this, or is Avery on the extreme end of the scale?

Very few bedtimes are easy around here. Once in a while I am blessed with a quick one, but rarely. (naps however, are easy. I just don't get it).

Anyways, it is 10:58 as I type this, and I JUST got her to sleep. We went out for supper tonight, and changed her into her pj's in the restaraunt. She fell asleep in the car on the way home, but them woke up as she was being carried (in her carseat) from the garage into the house. (we arrived home at around 8:15 after a 30 minute drive home).

I got her out of the carseat quickly and layed down to nurse her back to sleep. She was very sleepy and it almost worked, but then it didn't. She popped off and didn't want to go back on, all the while rubbing her eyes. So I walked her a bit with her head on my shoulder, swayed, shhhh'd, and finally settled in the rocker and nursed her again. She was pretty much asleep, and then woke up as I was laying her down. So I tried nursing agian right there. No dice.

More walking.

30 minutes later, a car ride. No dice there either.

DH has some friends over watching the game in the basement, and at this point I called on him, even though I felt really bad doing so. I just needed some help. She pretty much just got hysterical with him. Finally I took her back, shh'd some more, nursed her in the rocker again and now she is finally sleeping.

DH feels like we "can't keep doing this every night" which honestly so do I. This happens all the time. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up without losing it. :-(

The worst part? Knowing that after that struggle she will still be up a ton of times tonight.
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  #2  
May 6th, 2012, 07:04 AM
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Location: NB, Canada
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We had similar sleep challenges with my daughter. One thing we found was the transitions were INCREDIBLY difficult for her. So if she fell asleep in her car seat, she would wake up regardless of how tired she was when we took her out, and it would be very difficult to get her back to sleep. She also seemed to have a very short "sleep window" in which it would be relatively easy to get her to sleep. If we missed it, we were looking at another 2 hours of "awake" time.

We also would make sure DD was in a deep sleep before moving her. This takes almost 20 minutes (do some reading on Dr. Sears' page about baby sleep if you haven't already). If I moved her before this stage, she would usually wake up. Which meant starting the whole thing again, like you had to do.

One thing we ended up doing was ensuring we were always, always home for our bedtime routine. It meant we had to say no to some dinners out, or we had to go really early, like 4:30 or 5, but it's what our DD needed to get a good night's sleep. If we weren't home by 7pm, it was going to be a challenging night.
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  #3  
May 6th, 2012, 07:46 AM
joonzgurl's Avatar Expecting #2!
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Did she eventually outgrow this? How is bedtime for her now?
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  #4  
May 6th, 2012, 07:49 AM
Buggymom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Ohio
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I know we never could sway from the "routine" when she was smaller....it would totally mess her up. Some friends and family didn't understand and it would be kinda hard to explain; but, honestly they weren't the ones dealing with the chaos. (Isn't that just annoying when someone judges you, lol) I've heard too, that as babies get older they can be more stimulated and have a harder time falling asleep (thanks to their super smart brains), especially when something is new or different. Hang in there....it does get easier.

So, Kayley is 5 and if she doesn't go to bed at somewhat of a regular time she will sometimes wake up with night terrors and those are AWFUL! (half the time she is "playing" and getting frustrated, and acting it out while asleep.) Last night, she was up late with hubby at the neighbors house playing...like 10:00 and phew she slept soundly! I've been relaxing her routine on the weekends since she has made friends with the little boy a house over and they don't always get to play. So, as long as the sun is out she can play.
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  #5  
May 6th, 2012, 08:47 AM
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My babe is like that. We bedshare and he will only go to sleep if I'm going to bed too. If I try to put him down by himself it is a disaster.

Sorry, don't have any advice. Hopefully you find a solution
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  #6  
May 6th, 2012, 10:22 AM
Jule'sMomInOR's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Portland, OR
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I had similar issues with Juliana. Life pretty much revolved around her routines at that age. Last night we didn't get home until around 8 pm, did a quick bath and she was asleep by 9 pm. I'm not sure when it got easier but at some point it did.

((HUGS)). It will get easier for you, too. I promise. I was seriously at a low point and so very frustrated when Juliana was about Avery's age. It was like my endurance was being stretched so thin for being exhausted. And now things are better and it's like mommy bliss. Hang in there!
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  #7  
May 6th, 2012, 10:28 AM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: California
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We have been there too. While Billy is still the type of toddler to go to sleep at 10 or 10:30, getting him to bed is no longer a struggle.
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  #8  
May 6th, 2012, 12:56 PM
Lauren
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 597
Yeah, we've BTDT too! We were religious about our routine and it was still a struggle, but, it has gotten easier for sure. Hope she goes easy on you tonight so you can all get some sleep, hang in there!
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  #9  
May 6th, 2012, 01:49 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Weiner Dogs Rock!
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Right with you...hating it...just have
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  #10  
May 6th, 2012, 02:44 PM
alwayssmile's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It was about that age that I started posting on here about sleep issues. At 9 months we waved the white flag. We had to make sure to have a routine that was consistent. At the very first sign of being tired I had to jump into action with it or else he'd slip into over tired territory which made everything worse. And then it took time and patience. Aiden had to get used to the routine and make the connection that after we did these things it was time for sleep. We had to go as far as to removing every single light in his room.
((hugs))
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  #11  
May 6th, 2012, 04:21 PM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I totally agree that over tired territory is not good at all. Many kids go into overdrive when overly tired. They get their second wind and it is cuckoo time in the middle of the night! Been there many times!
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  #12  
May 6th, 2012, 08:31 PM
KiwiMommy's Avatar Ashlynn's Mama
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Location: New England
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I was never able to move Ashlynn if she fell asleep somewhere other than bed. I knew someone who could move their son around as much as they wanted when he slept. Ashlynn? Never. If she was moved from the car seat to the bed, she was wide awake. Unfortunately, I just had to deal. It was awful, yes.. but it got better over time. If she naps in the car though, her nap is over as soon as she is woken.. Doesn't matter if it's only been 10 minutes. But for bedtime it's easier now.
I agree that it takes 20ish minutes for them to be in a "deep" sleep.. I can push Ashlynn to a different spot, or scoot her, with out much of a wimper IF I let her sleep for 20min or so first. SO has been able to pick her up and put her in her own bed before, too (I haven't tried since she was little and it didn't work then) but if we try before she's fully asleep, it's all over.
It does get easier though! ((Hugs))
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  #13  
May 7th, 2012, 08:29 AM
Purrrrrrr's Avatar Semi-crunchy Mommy
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Location: Georgia
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I discovered pretty quickly Gabe cannot be out and about past 6pm and he has to be in bed asleep no later than 8:30. He's got a limited "sleep-window" too. And he instantly wakes up when moved from one place to the next (car seat to bed). We just structure our life around his sleep now. It'll be different when he gets older.

Do you have a set bedtime routine, with little variation? We like to move things up and down a half hour or so every couple of days, but still in the same time range, so he doesn't get too dependent on the routine, but he still feels safe. It's always the same routine: dinner, play time, bath, drying off time, nurse, then bed; but the time when we start can range from 7-7:30.
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