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Recently DD's diaper has leaked in the night and since we co sleep this isn't so much fun. We use cloth and we're experimenting with what works best at night, although she has leaked through a disposable too. I mentioned what a pain this all is to a friend and she suggested I night wean her. I said no, because nursing her at night is sometimes the only thing that comforts her when she wakes as she doesn't take a paci. I know she wakes because she wants to nurse and I'm ok with that. Then she suggested we put her in her crib. I said no, we tried that once and it made me feel uncomfortable so it lasted all of about an hour before I moved her back into the bed. I explained that I don't feel right if she's not near me. Friend said that was weird, I'm too attached, blah blah blah. Basically she thinks I'll be a helicopter mom and I'll never be able to let go of DD. She doesn't think it's healthy. She said this all in a more round about way, but it still wasn't nice to hear.
Do you think this is weird? Anyone else ever somehow not feel right if your child is not near? Is there such a thing as being too attached?
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Last edited by lovemylittlemiss; July 23rd, 2012 at 02:01 PM.
carlos is 16 months end of this month and i still dont feel right if he's not near me. i have no plans to move him to his own room anytime soon and that feels right to me.
i think what you're doing is your instinct towards your child and i'm sure it feels just as right for your little one to have her mommy near her every time she needs you.
Sheesh, she's only 5 months old. No need to night wean or anything so early. There is a big difference between being a helicopter mom and an attached parent.
^^Ditto. She makes it sound like what you're doing is a problem. I think it's a problem NOT to feel this way and the world would be a better place if there were more moms like you.
You're bound to get some criticism but we're here any time you want to relate to other like-minded moms or just vent. ((HUGS))
Btw, my DD is 2 and I still feel that way (but I did night wean at 20 months).
Sheesh, she's only 5 months old. No need to night wean or anything so early. There is a big difference between being a helicopter mom and an attached parent.
SERIOUSLY.
I am sure your friend means well but she clearly does not understand what attachment means. Getting solid attachment now teaches your baby that they are secure and can count on you to meet their needs, setting the stage for natural independence to unfold as they get bigger. Helicopter parenting is completely different, generally refers to much older kids, and actually reflects a lack of trust in your child to figure things out for themself, like how to play on the playground, etc.
I personally consider myself more anti-helicopter more than anything yet I am pretty AP, especially for the infant stage. M is nursed in bed every night and we bed share almost all night still, she has never slept in a crib. Yet she is the boldest little toddler on the playground and will climb up to the biggest windy slide and go down it all by herself, she can barely climb the tall stairs. I saw a girl 3-4 years old say she didn't want to do that one since it looked scary.
Since everyone already covered what I wanted to say...
What overnights have you tried? Fitteds are the only thing we can use overnight. I have a mixture of mother-ease bamboo fitteds and happy hempy pocket fitteds. I LOVE the happy hempys. I stuff them with 2 hemp inserts.
Since everyone already covered what I wanted to say...
What overnights have you tried? Fitteds are the only thing we can use overnight. I have a mixture of mother-ease bamboo fitteds and happy hempy pocket fitteds. I LOVE the happy hempys. I stuff them with 2 hemp inserts.
We have been using cotton fitteds with the cotton inserts they came with. I ordered a bamboo insert and a mf/bamboo blend to try. They came today love fluffy mail! I think tonight we'll try putting the bamboo in with the cotton insert. I'm going to look into mother-ease and happy hempy when we're in the states; thanks for the suggestions!
Thanks all! I know in my heart I'm doing the right thing but it helps to hear it from other moms too
1) You can't "helicopter" parent a baby!
2) Funny enough the fact that I was attached to DS so much his first year makes it easier on me to not be a helicopter parent now. As long as he's in a contained area, I let him go forth and explore. I know that as long as he knows where I am, he will find me when he needs me. I don't have to check in on him because he checks in on me. I've actually been accused of letting him be too free and too attached all in the same convo! HA HA.
3) It was about that age that we went through a frustrating stage with night diapering DS. He was nursing quite a bit at night still making for HUGE peeing, but changing his diaper interrupted his sleep a ton. Our solution at the time was a mother's ease sandy's fitted with an extra soaker pad. Then I decided I hated fitteds with the horrible hard water I had (too many layers to rinse cleanly and the hard water left deposits behind which affected them) and tried a pocket with 2 bamboo inserts with a hemp doubler. MIRACLE DIAPER. This is the only thing that works on DS right now without ever an issue. Do note with bamboo that it takes a bit to prep them to bring them up to full amazing absorbency. It was a good month of having bamboo before I fell in love with them because silly me didn't prep them enough. As long as there aren't any snaps or anything, boil them like you would prefolds and such to prep them. Then wash with CD detergent (and dry!) a couple of times. Then they should be good to go. A mf/bamboo mix insert shouldn't be nearly as bad since microfiber doesn't need prepping. After discovering bamboo and hemp I dumped all but 4 of my microfiber inserts. Don't miss them. lol
ETA: I've been really impressed by Kawaii bamboo inserts. Though I did like their older brown edge ones better than their new all white ones.
Hahahahahaha. Too attached with a 5-month-old?? I DON'T THINK SO! It's impossible. Babies need to have security and five months is barely enough time for them to adapt to the world, much less to start night weaning, crib sleeping, and "letting her be independent." She has plenty of time...in the next...uh...five years, to become independent and explore and learn to comfort herself, etc. Your friend is just one more causality of the "fit the baby into my life" parenting group. You know, the ones who dont really want to be bothered by the inconveniences of a baby. Like night feeding, bedwetting, and uh, comfort.
I am one of the least "hard core" (for lack of a better term) AP parents in this room. I know it and am totally comfortable with it. It is MY style of parenting. And I still sincerely do not believe even my 10-month-old needs to be independent or less attached. He sleeps with me at least half of the night (on his terms), he is worn constantly, he eats whenever he wants at night (and day), and only takes a paci when he wants to (which he randomly picked up using around the time teething started, certainly not because of attempted night weaning). Sure, there are moments when it's not the most convenient for me to be up ten times at night. Or to have him pee in my bed...but that is life with a baby.
In regards to nighttime diapering, we have had our share of issues with it too. Basically surrounding the nighttime nursing sessions and how much he pees. And I totally think bamboo and hemp are the solution. We use Elementals with a hemp trifold (like a prefold, folded in thirds), and a bamboo doubler...and it's golden. It took a while to find the solution, but I won't even stray from it now, it works so good
We have been using cotton fitteds with the cotton inserts they came with. I ordered a bamboo insert and a mf/bamboo blend to try. They came today love fluffy mail! I think tonight we'll try putting the bamboo in with the cotton insert. I'm going to look into mother-ease and happy hempy when we're in the states; thanks for the suggestions!
No problem! Hemp is awesome Bamboo works well for us too. You could also try a wool cover.
15Likes
love fluffy mail! I think tonight we'll try putting the bamboo in with the cotton insert. I'm going to look into mother-ease and happy hempy when we're in the states; thanks for the suggestions!
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