We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to email@example.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
did it become ok to casually lie? Big things, small things.. I just don't know when totally disregarding the truth began to be acceptable.
Not long ago BF told his mom, grandmother, and sister our name choices. They all immediately hated them. His reenactment of his moms sneering, angry-faced, "I don't like that name," was actually kind of funny (too good to explain). They even tried to talk him into other names. And that's fine, whatever. None of them are pushing the baby out of their vagina, so I couldn't care less what their opinions are. Good for them for expressing themselves.
So when BF's sister brought up name choices to me I told her I wasn't sharing them with many because of the negative reactions we'd already gotten - of course meaning her and her family. Her reply? "Well I know our family really likes the names."
Uh, excuse me?
Why lie about that?! What is the bob-dang point??? Just because I don't give a what anyone thinks of my name choices doesn't mean I want them to pretend to like them. I would rather be told they're horrible, ugly names if that's an honest opinion.
Call me crazy but I cannot stand lying; it's pathetic, insulting, and the first thing that will make me lose all respect for someone. And I generally assume that if you've lied once, you've lied many more times, and therefore I can't fully trust you. If you won't be honest with me then why do I want to waste my time talking to you?
Yep. It's hard because society makes it hard. Somewhere along the line it became unacceptable to say "No, I don't want to do that on Saturday." Or "That hair cut really makes you look masculine." Thus the "white lie" was created. We now say "Wow, my Saturday is really full with cleaning out my moms basement and taking Johnny to a soccer practice (moms basement clean out doesn't exist and Johnny usually catches a ride to practice with his buddy Jim)" and "Yeah, that haircut really makes your eyes stand out."
Because heaven forbid we say what we mean. Then we are rude, snobby, and unyielding. Trust me, I have been called all of the above. WHY? Because I usually do say I don't feel like going out on a Saturday, that I like to sleep in and be lazy instead of helping at the church bazaar. Or that maybe that haircut will grow out because it's a bit butch.
People lie to make themselves and their lives sound better. Those who don't are looked down upon for being too crass. It's a nasty place to be. But if you don't start lying, you at least won't have to remember why Lucy is asking you about your moms basement when you haven't seen hide nor hair of it in 10 years
Oh I agree. I cannot and will NOT tolerate liars. Big or small and lie is simple, it IS a lie no matter how you look at it!
I am sorry about your family. Even if they absolutely HATED the names you picked they should have not really said they didn't like them. IMO. Wait, that would be lying...you know what I mean!
Lying has become some what of the norm. I feel like EVERYONE lies or changes up things which in turn becomes a lie to make a situation better. Its lame no matter how you look at it. People are sooo darn judgmental that some people found it easier to lie rather be judged. Makes me sick. THIS is why alot of people (especially on FB because for SOME reason that is THE place to start everything) think I am a "B" because I do not lie. I say what I want, when I want. So be it. BUT I would never hurt anyone's feelings. You can be honest and respectful at the same time. Some people have no idea how to do that.
Thank you *Kiliki* for my perfect siggy
When you know better, you do better. And when you do better, you know HINTA.
You can be honest and respectful at the same time.
I do not know... I swear it is because people think they will be "drilled" for telling the truth, in fear it will hurt that person? Grow a pair! LOL and learn how to say it in a NICE way. It isn't hard. BLAH!
You can be honest and respectful at the same time.
Precisely! I strive for that when I can attain it. I really believe that (mature) people can disagree openly and still be respectful. Blunt as I am, I can do it! There are times when I simply can't - say, when really extreme things are involved - but those are few. And I certainly believe other people have the right to disagree with me. I'm not about to go ripping heads off because someone didn't like what I said.
I guess there is a line between people like me and the rest of the world. Yes people do think I'm a little rough. Some do think me rude, or at least socially inept. But I don't care. Why should what society thinks of me matter more than what my conscience thinks of me? Maybe that's the real source of the lying problem these days. People are so caught up in what other people think of them that they are willing to throw away their beliefs and morals to make others happy. Not me.