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  • 1 Post By joonzgurl
  • 1 Post By Dhartanya

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  #1  
February 9th, 2013, 10:56 AM
Dhartanya's Avatar Paleo Mommy-to-be
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Location: Delta, BC
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So to compromise with Steve about the bed sharing topic. I start Rilynn off in her bassinet, and bring her into bed when she wakes a couple hours later.

She's had a few fussy nights and after fighting to try and get her to fall asleep in her bassinet, I've just brought her into bed, and within seconds she's out....

The first night, she slept through the night and only awoke at 5 because Steve's alarms were way too loud! She fell back asleep after a quick nurse till almost 9.

The second night, after she fell asleep beside me, I put her in her bassinet. She immediately woke up and fussed for a few mins before falling back asleep.
She woke up 3 hours later. She also woke up more frequently once in bed with me.

Last night I left her in bed with me, and she once again slept straight through the night till Steve got up at 6. She then was out again still 8:45.

So... Do I keep her in bed all night? Or stick with having her fall asleep for the first leg in her bassinet?

I don't get any more sleep having her in bed all night.... I still wake up every couple hours lol
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  #2  
February 9th, 2013, 11:31 AM
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Talk to your husband! He must be noticing a pattern here. If he can be convinced to just bedshare all night, there's no problem, right? Try to renegotiate your compromise and see where you get.
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  #3  
February 9th, 2013, 11:37 AM
Dhartanya's Avatar Paleo Mommy-to-be
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shen7 View Post
Talk to your husband! He must be noticing a pattern here. If he can be convinced to just bedshare all night, there's no problem, right? Try to renegotiate your compromise and see where you get.
I kinda tried to talk last night about it.
He said I was just giving her want she wants (...and somehow this was a bad thing?....)
And that I was getting her into a pattern of sleeping with us by giving into her fussing and crying.

I may give it a couple more nights and see what happens.
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  #4  
February 9th, 2013, 03:30 PM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
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Wow, she isn't even 8 weeks old!!! Your husband needs an attitude adjustment. (sorry I don't mean to offend) but seriously... she is not even 8 weeks old!!!!

My husband wasn't comfortable with the baby in our bed, so me and baby slept together in her room and then he slept in our room. Would that be a possibility for you for a while?
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  #5  
February 9th, 2013, 03:46 PM
Dhartanya's Avatar Paleo Mommy-to-be
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joonzgurl View Post
Wow, she isn't even 8 weeks old!!! Your husband needs an attitude adjustment. (sorry I don't mean to offend) but seriously... she is not even 8 weeks old!!!!

My husband wasn't comfortable with the baby in our bed, so me and baby slept together in her room and then he slept in our room. Would that be a possibility for you for a while?
The bassinet is right beside our bed, so I'd have to move things around to move her and me into the spare room.
The first week I actually slept in our living room with her. And he slept in our room. He was cranky from sleeping poorly without me in bed.
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  #6  
February 9th, 2013, 03:48 PM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
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I would totally do it! I moved a queen sized bed to the floor of Avery's room when she was 2-3 months old. If you have a spare mattress it could be a good option. Tell him you guys are a packaged deal, LOL!
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  #7  
February 9th, 2013, 04:10 PM
Dhartanya's Avatar Paleo Mommy-to-be
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joonzgurl View Post
I would totally do it! I moved a queen sized bed to the floor of Avery's room when she was 2-3 months old. If you have a spare mattress it could be a good option. Tell him you guys are a packaged deal, LOL!
I don't think I would be able to get away with that....

I don't think he would refuse to let her sleep all night in our bed.... He'd just make comments every once in awhile.

But then again, perhaps I could give in and keep with the her sleeping in the bassinet initially. Even if she has to fall asleep beside me first and be moved.
Part of the reason I was doing this was so I could have some cuddle time with him, so he didn't feel neglected.

I can't always get what I want lol

And who knows in a another week Rilynn's sleep habits will change again lol
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  #8  
February 10th, 2013, 01:28 AM
ComfortablyMum's Avatar <3 Mummy 2 Eve <3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dhartanya View Post
I kinda tried to talk last night about it.
He said I was just giving her want she wants (...and somehow this was a bad thing?....)
And that I was getting her into a pattern of sleeping with us by giving into her fussing and crying.

I may give it a couple more nights and see what happens.
This comment REALLY grinds my gears!!! Cause Scott says it to me ALL.THE.TIME!!
There is NO harm in giving them what they want. I do not get men sometimes!

If I was in your position, I would do what joonzgurl suggested
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  #9  
February 10th, 2013, 07:17 AM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Do what feels right I'd probably stick to the bassinet if baby were happy to start off there, only because I overheat easily at night lately. Otherwise, having her in bed with you actually has a lot of HEALTH benefits. Also, at 8 weeks, baby's don't have "wants". they have basic instinctual needs, one of which is to be close to their mother's (which also regulates their system, hence the health benefits). So, you aren't giving her what she wants, you're giving her what she needs. But just the same, the next time your husband wants something, say, "But I thought we should never give people what they want?" hehehe. Anyway, I hope you two can find something you are both comfortable with!
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  #10  
February 10th, 2013, 11:10 AM
Dhartanya's Avatar Paleo Mommy-to-be
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After being next to me in bed till she was good and drowsy, she slept in her bassinet for almost 6 hours last night, and would have fallen back asleep too, but I changed her diaper.
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  #11  
February 10th, 2013, 04:34 PM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
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I really think that people confuse the not giving kids what they want as children with not giving kids what they want at ALL ages. You can't apply that to babies. It's not as if they have a concept of "I get what I want if I cry." It's, "I need this. I'm crying because I have no other way to say so." Their only concept is of having their needs met, or not having them met. Having their needs met does not teach them that they can manipulate. It teaches them that they can count on you.

Rant over.

What you guys decide to do is really individual, because you are her parents and everyone does things a different way. What feels right and works best is what I would stick to. But maybe point out to your husband that a newborn doesn't think the same way as an older child? It might make things easier.
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