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preschools and time outs and discipline...


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  #1  
February 12th, 2013, 09:52 AM
miamor
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all this pre-school talk from before has me wondering what a lot of these different style of schools do for "discipline"...

can anyone shed some light???
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  #2  
February 12th, 2013, 10:40 AM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I know most public schools do time out or suspension.
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  #3  
February 12th, 2013, 11:29 AM
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When I was visiting our preschool, I did not see them do any "discipline" for non hurtful acting out. They waited to see if another kid would correct it, or else they'd just give a gentle verbal reminder or matter of factly physically sit them down in the chair or whatever, it was very mellow. If kids were fighting over a toy or swing outside they would just intervene briefly and enforce turn taking or redirect someone, but they seemed to really try to stay out of it and let the kids police themselves, watched carefully of course. Which the kids seemed to do really well, there was a flow to things and a group dynamic that seemed to really minimize conflict and hurtful behavior. The teachers really try to not interfere during unstructured outdoor play especially. Only if someone is going to get hurt or getting really upset. The kids generally worked out their own turn-taking etc.

Preschoolers are so little... I can't imagine what they would do that would require serious discipline like suspension or whatever.
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  #4  
February 12th, 2013, 11:33 AM
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My Kindergartner was suspended, but mainly that was because of his special needs and incompetence. But this was at a standard public school. Now that we homeschool we don't have to worry about it. The only thing BIZARRE to me is that there are states in our country that allow corporal punishment in school! I know when I was in school they did the same, even if you were in preschool, but I thought by now that would be illegal nationwide The preschool shen7 mentioned sounds great!
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  #5  
February 12th, 2013, 12:21 PM
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Aw that sucks about your son sounds like they really didn't understand him.

I remember as a kid in public school being "benched". It was basically time out, you had to sit on a bench for some length of time. It was for hurting someone or being dangerous. I was in kindergarten and threw sand at a boy's face because he wouldn't stop chasing me, he cried and I got benched. I think that was the only time it ever happened to me. I knew kids got suspended sometimes but I seem to remember that was always for really bad stuff, like having a knife and carving up the desk with it, or beating someone up. My school was really mixed and some kids were from very rough areas, I knew a few who ended up in Juvie before 6th grade.

I should mention our preschool I described before is a private Waldorf-inspired school. It is about 15 kids max at any given time, from age 18-24ish months (walking well and at least somewhat verbal) through age 5, pretty even mix of ages/stages.
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  #6  
February 12th, 2013, 12:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alittlelost View Post
My Kindergartner was suspended, but mainly that was because of his special needs and incompetence. But this was at a standard public school. Now that we homeschool we don't have to worry about it. The only thing BIZARRE to me is that there are states in our country that allow corporal punishment in school! I know when I was in school they did the same, even if you were in preschool, but I thought by now that would be illegal nationwide The preschool shen7 mentioned sounds great!
Yeah, I can't believe corporal punishment at school is still allowed in some states. My friend from the South said that now they require the parent to sign a permission slip at the beginning of the year (basically check yes or no if you are ok with corporal punishment) but still...
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  #7  
February 12th, 2013, 02:46 PM
Jule'sMomInOR's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The Waldorf school we looked and didn't say anything about time-outs, just redirection.

This is from the handout of another school we looked at:

Steps to Correct Behavior
1. Redirection: The teacher talks with your child, explains the problem, clarifies the expectation, and helps to redirect him or her to appropriate behavior actions. The tone of the teacher’s voice is firm but supportive.

2. Natural Consequence: If redirection is unsuccessful the teacher will remove a privilege that is logical in response to an inappropriate or unacceptable behavior. For example, if a child is using a toy in a way that puts others in harm, they will lose the privilege to use that toy for a period of time.

3. Time-In: If your child makes a choice that results in a consequence they may receive a discreet ‘time-in’. This is an opportunity for the child to regroup and will last for one minute for each year of their age or until they are ready to apologize or demonstrate the appropriate behavior. The time-in begins when they are sitting quietly and calmly. Whenever possible, the teacher will guide your child through a short problem-solving discussion at the end of the time-in.

Good communication between teachers and parents is important in creating and maintaining a successful year. Parents and teachers work closely together to solve problems that arise. Teachers make every effort to communicate both good behavior and inappropriate behavior and the action taken. The communication may happen in the form of a phone call, email, end of the day conversation, a note home, or a scheduled conference. We observe each child carefully throughout the day to assess situations appropriately.

It is important that parents know what we will not do in regard to discipline. Teachers will not humiliate or demean a child in any form verbally or physically. No corporal punishment is ever utilized. It is our belief that children desire to do what is right and desire to be in control of their actions. We will work to correct inappropriate behavior in a way that respects them as an individual.


What they described sounds more like a time-out to me, though.
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  #8  
February 12th, 2013, 04:28 PM
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I agree, Jule's. However, I have mixed feelings about time outs. I don't think they are ideal (with so many other options available!), but I think they can be used in a positive way, such as using them in a way that promotes them wanting to take one on their own in the future. We call ours "taking a break". When we see our kids getting frustrated, we'll say, "Do you want to take a break? I'll make sure no one bothers you." When our kids do something really bad and it's no longer a "choice", we'll say, "It's time to take a break." and then direct them to take a break. Afterward, we talk to them about how to handle the situation in the future so they won't need a break. I won't say that "taking a break" is a totally positive thing, but I wouldn't say it's exactly negative either. More neutral. My kids HAVE taken self-directed breaks, but they aren't to the point yet where they use that skill all the time. But we also don't make them feel like taking a break is their ONLY choice. They can also ask for help if they are ready to participate in solving a problem but don't know how or aren't having any success in their efforts. As an adult, though, I can say sometimes I need a break before I'm ready to solve a problem. I see nothing wrong with taking a break. I also let my kids know that taking a break is what I do when I don't feel I can solve a problem calmly.
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  #9  
February 12th, 2013, 05:18 PM
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When David was in preschool they were amazing. They used a lot of redirection and different techniques that we now use at home. David's kindergarten is the same way, and he is in public school. They have a stop light green is amazing behavior, yellow is like warning behavior and red is a consequence. Usually the consequence is a break and its never alone (either with the main teacher or the second teacher they have in class). They talk about why they needed a break and what they need to do to change the behavior. I'm really impressed with David's school, but we moved here to specifically go to this school.
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  #10  
February 13th, 2013, 04:08 AM
mgm78's Avatar Zoe's mom Meredith
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Our school does only gentle discipline and time out only if necessary (like if a child gets overly worked up and will not calm down). A lot of gentle talking, hugging, etc. It is a co-op, so i am there in a class room once a week and see that it is all positive and gentle discipline. They really encourage not saying no or don't do that to children, but wording it more gently. I did however blurt out at a child yesterday who was throwing rice in the sensory table, it was just a gut reaction, but then tried to reign it in. I was just afraid she was going to get rice in a kid's eye.
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  #11  
February 13th, 2013, 10:07 PM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
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I'm not sure about most, only how they do things here. The head start programs have slowly evolved to embrace positive reinforcement over punishment. One of my cousins has some learning obstacles and is in special needs classes (I hate the term "learning disabled") - I know that they work on a points system. Each kids behavior is evaluated every half hour; they can get a total of 10 points in a day for good behavior, obviously points are taken away if they're bad, and they're rewarded for more points. As for the rest of the school, I don't know how they work. From what I've heard it's the same detention, ISS, principal, then OSS system as when I was a kid.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemylittlemiss View Post
My friend from the South said that now they require the parent to sign a permission slip at the beginning of the year (basically check yes or no if you are ok with corporal punishment) but still...
That's how things are around here, too. The thing is, local schools have been caught paddling childrens butts even when the parents said no. I think it's very important to remember that signing a slip of paper doesn't prevent them from doing anything - all they have to do is not tell the parents.

My young cousin has aspergers and schizophrenia, and the schools he's been to were run by backwoods idiots. They had no idea how to react to him - they just labeled him a bad kid from the start. His middle school was one of the schools that was caught. They were really horrible to him for so many years, his mom had to fight to get someone from outside BFE to get involved. Now the state sends someone from four hours away to work with him once a month, and that person oversaw the training of the special needs advocates that work with him every day.

Quote:
Originally Posted by shen7 View Post
Preschoolers are so little... I can't imagine what they would do that would require serious discipline like suspension or whatever.
I'm the same way - I can't imagine ever needing to physically punish a preschooler. However not everyone feels that way. I have heard horror stories (of course we all have). It's terrible that people with such backwards beliefs have so much power over children.
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Last edited by NinjaCakes; February 13th, 2013 at 10:10 PM.
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