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  • 1 Post By sareymac
  • 1 Post By joonzgurl
  • 2 Post By KatyG
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  #1  
February 24th, 2013, 09:02 PM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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Is there anything you do with / to your LO because it was or was not done to you as a child?
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  #2  
February 25th, 2013, 02:44 AM
sareymac's Avatar Mommy to Gary & Adalyn
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Hmm right now, I would say letting him play with toys all over. When we were younger we had a playroom. Nothing left the playroom. My parents were very strict about it, lol, not even toys in our bedrooms. SO because of that, I am really not picky about where he plays (safely) bc we have a son and its weird to walk in someones house and see no trace of kids, I think.
That being said, my parents were awesome, really, lol, we just had to keep our toys in the playroom. lol
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  #3  
February 25th, 2013, 08:30 PM
angelsailor288's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I just play with him a lot.
I was an only child, and no one ever played with me. I was ALWAYS asking my parents in particular to play board games with me and it was always "another night". I dont want to be like that.
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  #4  
February 26th, 2013, 03:52 AM
TheOnlyPink's Avatar .... In a house of blue!
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I'm really affectionate with my kids. I cant remember my mother ever hugging me, I know he must have, but I was very little when she stopped. So I smother my kids in kisses and cuddles!

I also listen to the tiny things. And if I cant listen right away I will tell him to remember what he wanted to talk about and I will be able to listen fully when we get home, get back to the car, when dinner is ready etc. And make sure he knows I really do want to hear what he has to say, just that I cant give him my full attention right now.
My parents never really listened to me and even if they did they kinda brushed it aside. I feel like even if the issue is trivial, it isnt to them at that moment. And, if i dont listen when its trivial, they wont tell me when its big.
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  #5  
February 26th, 2013, 10:46 PM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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I am very one on one with Drake. I did not get that as a kid. I am also very patient with him, even when it's really hard. I let him explore a lot more then us kids were able too. Like I do not mind that he pulls out the pots and pans and containers. It's ok that he pulls the towel off the oven bar. I let him carry around the remote. Simple things like that. If he is not in harms way then I pretty much let him touch everything.
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Want to find a calmer way to parent? Please visit here HINTA Hitting Is Never The Answer
Gentle parenting is about guiding instead of controlling,
connecting instead of punishing,
and encouraging instead of demanding.
It's about listening, understanding, responding and communicating.

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  #6  
February 27th, 2013, 04:43 AM
sareymac's Avatar Mommy to Gary & Adalyn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IronMamma View Post
I am very one on one with Drake. I did not get that as a kid. I am also very patient with him, even when it's really hard. I let him explore a lot more then us kids were able too. Like I do not mind that he pulls out the pots and pans and containers. It's ok that he pulls the towel off the oven bar. I let him carry around the remote. Simple things like that. If he is not in harms way then I pretty much let him touch everything.
Same here. As long as he isnt hurting anyone or himself he's fine. We can always clean up after he destroys the tupperware cabinet haha.
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  #7  
February 27th, 2013, 05:39 AM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
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I can't think of anything in particular about this topic, but I do love your responses (all of you) and it has given me some food for thought as Avery gets a bit older and starts to talk, etc.
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  #8  
February 27th, 2013, 10:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sareymac View Post
Same here. As long as he isnt hurting anyone or himself he's fine. We can always clean up after he destroys the tupperware cabinet haha.
Exactly. I believe in hands on learning, and sometimes I even sit with and explain stuff.

I also allow him to unfold clothes while I am folding them. Then "we" fold them together. While I am drawing his bath I allow him to stand there and watch. There are some things I do and I can tell by the look on my Mothers face she thinks I am insane. Whatever.
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Want to find a calmer way to parent? Please visit here HINTA Hitting Is Never The Answer
Gentle parenting is about guiding instead of controlling,
connecting instead of punishing,
and encouraging instead of demanding.
It's about listening, understanding, responding and communicating.

)O( Peace on Earth begins at Home )O(

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  #9  
February 27th, 2013, 10:20 AM
sareymac's Avatar Mommy to Gary & Adalyn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IronMamma View Post
Exactly. I believe in hands on learning, and sometimes I even sit with and explain stuff.

I also allow him to unfold clothes while I am folding them. Then "we" fold them together. While I am drawing his bath I allow him to stand there and watch. There are some things I do and I can tell by the look on my Mothers face she thinks I am insane. Whatever.
Whyyy wouldnt you let him watch the water!? lol Gary is constantly asking for a "batt" which is Bath lol he stands there and points at the tub when we bring him upstairs lol So we always let him put the bubbles in too
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  #10  
February 27th, 2013, 10:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sareymac View Post
Whyyy wouldnt you let him watch the water!? lol Gary is constantly asking for a "batt" which is Bath lol he stands there and points at the tub when we bring him upstairs lol So we always let him put the bubbles in too
Ya...I know...

When I am loading the dishwasher I let him play with the bottom rack, and it's so cute, he will take out the basket for the utensils and put it back and I get the "look"...really? He is actually learning by taking out and putting the basket back.
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Thank you *Kiliki* for my perfect siggy

Want to find a calmer way to parent? Please visit here HINTA Hitting Is Never The Answer
Gentle parenting is about guiding instead of controlling,
connecting instead of punishing,
and encouraging instead of demanding.
It's about listening, understanding, responding and communicating.

)O( Peace on Earth begins at Home )O(

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  #11  
February 27th, 2013, 11:28 AM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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The only things I can think of that I will try to take from my childhood are to not let either of us ever get drunk in front of our kids (it always made me so uncomfortable when my dad did) and to try not to let my moods impact the family (whenever my mom had a bad day at work, we all KNEW it). Just in general I will try to always provide a calm environment where everyone can feel comfortable expressing themselves.
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  #12  
February 27th, 2013, 11:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ohnicole View Post
The only things I can think of that I will try to take from my childhood are to not let either of us ever get drunk in front of our kids (it always made me so uncomfortable when my dad did)
Oh yes! There have been many times when my parents would be drunk in front of us kids. I hated that. DH and I have always said that we do not want to do anything in front of Drake that he cannot so I do not have to explain the "Its bad for kids but it's ok for adults." I do not agree with that. We can have a beer together when Drake is asleep. It is not necessary when he is awake. Neither of us smoke so he will not see that from us.
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Want to find a calmer way to parent? Please visit here HINTA Hitting Is Never The Answer
Gentle parenting is about guiding instead of controlling,
connecting instead of punishing,
and encouraging instead of demanding.
It's about listening, understanding, responding and communicating.

)O( Peace on Earth begins at Home )O(

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  #13  
February 28th, 2013, 03:49 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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The ONLY thing I can think of is how my parents taught my not to follow through on commitments. I'm really thankful for that for my own benefit, and others are thankful of that because they can depend on me. I hope I can raise my kids to be the same
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  #14  
February 28th, 2013, 05:40 PM
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I won't make them clean their plates all the time. When I was little I hated spinach but I would eat other vegetables but my mom would make me sit at the table until I ate it a few times I was there until bed time and sometimes my dad would like shove it my mouth and I would be gagging and everything. The twins like everything they have tried so far but when I come across something they don't like I won't force them to eat it
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  #15  
February 28th, 2013, 06:01 PM
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DH and I are probably going to push numbers and understanding computers. DH says he expects them to know a basic programming language by age 12 We both have fathers who are PhDs in math/computer science, DH has a PhD in computer science, we both had a ton of exposure to technology and the fun aspects of mathematics at a young age, and think it is a really important thing to pass on. 90% of the game with those subjects is just not being intimidated by it! I will try not to push them to specialize in it, though.

I also want to provide a lot more structure, rules, expectations and communication than my parents did for me in the teen years. They were way too permissive and I want to have a much different approach.
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  #16  
February 28th, 2013, 09:49 PM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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Oh Katy I forgot about that one! My Mom was and still is (she has already said this to me and Drake) about finishing what you got on your plate. I also had to eat spinach and to this day I think it is disgusting. I never EVER make Drake finish eating, not that I really CAN right now with him being so young, but my Mom has said "You should get a spoon and make him eat his beans." Um, excuse me? No. If he is done, he is done. Let me add, that adults eat when they are not hungry, but kids (like Drakes age) or maybe older, I can only go by what I have been exposed too, usually will not want to eat if they are not hungry, and if they do not have the taste for something, do NOT make them eat it. Jeeze.
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Thank you *Kiliki* for my perfect siggy

Want to find a calmer way to parent? Please visit here HINTA Hitting Is Never The Answer
Gentle parenting is about guiding instead of controlling,
connecting instead of punishing,
and encouraging instead of demanding.
It's about listening, understanding, responding and communicating.

)O( Peace on Earth begins at Home )O(

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  #17  
February 28th, 2013, 10:31 PM
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I grew up in a home with a lot of yelling, fighting, and alcoholic mother and stepfather. It is really important to me to not argue with DH in front of Gabby (not that we really ever argue, but IF we do.) Also I try really really hard to not yell at her. Sometimes that is easier said than done, but you have to choose your battles. LIke most of you have already said if she isn't hurting herself or something else what is the problem in letting them explore? I also spend a lot of one on one time with her, just reading, coloring, and playing.
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  #18  
March 1st, 2013, 04:00 PM
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I try not to yell, but it's really really hard. I grew up in a very dysfunctional, abusive home. I was neglected as a child. I try my hardest to keep a cool head.
We always eat at the table together, something my mother never did with me.
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