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Do you lie (about your parenting choices)?


Forum: Attachment Parenting

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  • 1 Post By alittlelost
  • 1 Post By ohnicole
  • 1 Post By ashj_1218

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  #1  
February 26th, 2013, 08:12 AM
KMH KMH is offline
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My sister took her 1-week old to the Pedi last week, and took her 5-year old along. The Pedi asked "where is baby sleeping?" My sister, knowing that she'd get a speech about how bedsharing will kill her child, lied and said that the baby slept in her crib. The 5-year old laughed and said, "No, Mommy! Allie sleeps in bed with you!" Whoops

It got me thinking, though...how many of us feel like we have to lie just to avoid insulting, condescending speeches about how we are endangering our children? I lie to my Pedi about bedsharing. Last time she asked "are you going over to the Immunization Clinic after this to get the kids caught up on their shots?" I lied and said yes, even though I had no intention of going.

I have been honest in the past and it has never gone well, so I just gave up. Am I the only one?
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  #2  
February 26th, 2013, 08:17 AM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't lie to our Pedi. Anytime they give me a speech, I just tell them, I've read all the studies and I'm doing what I believe is safest. I will continue to research and if my beliefs change, so will our practices. She then gives me reading material, which I take and throw away after I leave Our old pedi was really great about co-sleeping and no-vax, but our new one is really hard core about vaccinating.
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  #3  
February 26th, 2013, 08:20 AM
miamor
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carlos sleeps in his crib even tho it's sidecarred so it's not technically lying but no, i dont say we co-sleep in that sense.
she wanted me to sleep train him at 9 months and i told her no, she asked me about it again at 12 months and even recommended a book, but i still told her no, she stopped after that. now she only asks HOW he's sleeping. i tell her he still wakes up a few times overnight, but i never tell her sometimes it's every hour on a really bad night.
that's about the extent of it. she's super nice, but i thinks he already thinks i'm weird because i'm raising him vegetarian and didn't care when she was telling me what a great lean protein chicken is. there aren't very many vegetarians in this town...but i'm not going to lie to her and tell her i'm serving up steaks and potatoes
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  #4  
February 26th, 2013, 08:58 AM
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Personally I can't imagine lying to a doctor. It could interfere with some kind of diagnosis or treatment if they had wrong information about our lives. I am pretty mainstream for my area though. I am fully supportive of vaccination on schedule, cosleeping is pretty normal around here, etc. I have never been outright asked about cosleeping but just about how we are all sleeping and if I am worried or have questions about her sleep.
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  #5  
February 26th, 2013, 09:30 AM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't lie to our pediatrician, but she is pretty open minded about AP-type practices. She actually never asked us about co-sleeping, and hasn't asked us at all about sleep since Eleanor was maybe 6 months old. She has always been completely on board with our choices... starting solids at 6 months, going right to table foods, extended breastfeeding. I can't think of a time when I felt judged by her or when I felt like she was trying to change my parenting choices. We have stayed mostly on the vaccine schedule, but the office actually has an alternative schedule for those who choose it. I recently asked to delay Eleanor's MMR to a time when she could get that as the only shot for the visit, and it was completely a non-issue.

If we lived in an area where there were no pediatricians open to these kinds of things, I don't know what I would do. Probably bring literature for the doctor to read
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  #6  
February 26th, 2013, 09:35 AM
KMH KMH is offline
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Hmmm, maybe I just need to be honest and let the criticism roll off my back more easily.

I wouldn't like about anything that would compromise the healthy of my kids, but I just got tired of being treated like a criminal because I sleep with my kids...how is it any of their business where my kids sleep anyway? And why should I have to be lectured if I choose to vax on a delayed schedule?

Hmmm...food for thought for me
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  #7  
February 26th, 2013, 11:32 AM
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No doctor asked where my boy was sleeping and when he turned 1 no question if he was still nursing asked if he was drinking milk so i said yes i do wish i ended my boy nursing habit earlier than i did. we dont get certain shots but only my dr asks me have i got one . I really dont share much detail with family as my brother family do cio the ferber way nursed first child 8 months weaned 2nd one at 10 months makes first child clean full plate even when she says she full
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  #8  
February 26th, 2013, 12:05 PM
Destiny
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I'm honest about everything, but it definitely gets annoying.

I've been given long similar lectures by a number of different people about multiple subjects, though I hear the most about homebirthing and not vaccinating.
It sounds canned, and I just let it roll off me, though it irritates me and I generally need to cool my heels and calm down afterwards.
I just smile and nod and avoid the subject in the future, if possible.
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  #9  
February 26th, 2013, 12:48 PM
sareymac's Avatar Mommy to Gary & Adalyn
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Nope. Our pediatrician is awesome though too, she always supports us and she has a variety of helpful ideas depending on your preferences, like CIO or things that are helpful with not CIO etc.
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  #10  
February 26th, 2013, 12:50 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
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No...and yes. Lol.

Our pedi office has two docs and we generally just see the woman. She is great and very open-minded (she also stays very current on her reading/recommendations). We have never "had" to lie about anything to her. She is totally okay with co-sleeping, EBF, baby-led weaning, ERF, and delayed vaxing (even though we don't).

But, the couple of times we have had to see the man in the practice (sick appts where my doc wasn't in), I have nodded and smiled about his suggestions for dehydration (giving pedialyte and less nursing), sleeping (he would sleep "better" in his crib), and other such things he has brought up. I just don't see it as that important, since he is not our primary and I know that our regular doc is cool with our choices. In fact, she always comments on my "crunchiness" (yeah, its really, really rare around here) and thinks its great my kids sleep with us, wear cloth, and nurse for "so long."

But sometimes its just easier not to do the battle.
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  #11  
February 26th, 2013, 02:14 PM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
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I do lie to my dr. Well first things first, we don't have pediatricians around here. You only get referred to one if your child is really sick, otherwise family drs, or GP's, do everything.

Anyways, ever since I got a lecture from my doctor about feeding on demand and how I should only be breastfeeding my 3 week old newborn that was still 7 oz below her birth weight every 4 hours I have a hard time trusting anything he has to say.

I did, however, admit to the other doctor we saw yesterday that Avery is not "up to date" on her shots. We are delaying her MMR until she is at least 3. She was supposed to get it at 12 months. And I did get a lecture.
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  #12  
February 26th, 2013, 07:23 PM
Jule'sMomInOR's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by breathing for two View Post
I'm honest about everything, but it definitely gets annoying.

I've been given long similar lectures by a number of different people about multiple subjects, though I hear the most about homebirthing and not vaccinating.
It sounds canned, and I just let it roll off me, though it irritates me and I generally need to cool my heels and calm down afterwards.
I just smile and nod and avoid the subject in the future, if possible.
Ditto.
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  #13  
February 26th, 2013, 11:28 PM
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I have "lied" about how much milk Drake has had in a day. I said he had drank less then what he did because before that I was given this long speech about how much milk he should have and blah blah blah, and my Ped is the type of Dr that will repeat every single thing all over again and drag it out more, and I really did not want to hear it.
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  #14  
February 28th, 2013, 06:49 AM
AprylLynn's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The kids previous pedi would always question me on if the kids were sleeping through the night when they were first born. My daughter wasnt sttn til 1 year but at her 3 month appointment she was like "she needs to sleep through the night, just leave her in her room and let her cry, she will fall asleep" I didnt do that but next appointment I told her she was sttn because I didnt want to be told what to do. She also told me not to pick them up right away when they cried. She said wait 5-10 mins so they can learn some self soothing. Ya next time I lied about that too. When my babies cry I pick them up period.
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