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Need help (especially with those w/experience with older kids)


Forum: Attachment Parenting

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  #1  
February 27th, 2013, 02:58 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
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My daughter, age 6, has a habit of showing all negative emotions through anger. If she's hurt or scared or annoyed or frustrated--it all comes out as anger. We've been working with her using her words, and we've seen improvement for sure, but it's still affecting her relationships with some people in her life because they don't appreciate her being ANGRY toward them (even though they know it's stemming from her being afraid or frustrated). So, I'm wondering if anyone might have some other tips I haven't tried already
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  #2  
February 27th, 2013, 09:17 PM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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I do not have any advice. I am sorry. I hope someone has some advice for you. I am sure you have tried almost everything, you are so smart!

Let us know how it is going.
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  #3  
February 28th, 2013, 04:29 AM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks, hon I mean, what we are doing HAS had improvement over the last year, but she still has a hard time. We are a very talky family, so I can't understand why she gets so angry instead of just talking and asking for help.
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  #4  
February 28th, 2013, 07:39 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
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It sounds like you have done a lot to help her work through those feelings in more positive ways.

But, it does sound like her natural reaction is very hard to override. It might take a very long time (and more emotional maturity...that only comes with age) to get her anger under control.

It must be hard for her too, since she probably has seen the negative effects of her response. I think as long as you are helping her see other ways to react and encouraging her to use other avenues (even an afterward apology), she will eventually "condition" her brain to respond in a more positive way (or at least allow her a second to think about how to react).

I wish I had advice. We are currently working with the little girl I nanny for because she reacts to everything remotely negative, confrontational, or uncertain with tears. She is just sensitive and takes even constructive suggestions from her teacher as a reason to dissolve into tears because "they don't like me." And it's tough. Her first reaction is to dissolve into a puddle and getting her back from that is hard in itself. But even with almost a year of redirection, positive reinforcement for her changes, and showing her other coping skills...she still has trouble not instantly imploding. But again, I think she tries and at this age (she is almost 7) it's the best we can expect from them emotionally. It's such a time of growth, I imagine it's a lot for them to handle.

I hope you see small improvements that put her on the right path. Its hard for mama to watch something like that too.
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