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Forging Blindly Ahead


Forum: Attachment Parenting

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  #1  
March 16th, 2013, 02:08 PM
Social Halfwit's Avatar the shade of it all
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Denver
Posts: 963
Hi all! I'm new to this board and new-ish to JM. I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately on the kind of parent I want to be. I get told all the time that I am a great mom to my boys, but I always feel like something is lacking. Recently, my Big Boy has started having issues at school and with his behavior and it has made me rethink a lot of how I parent him.

I co-slept with him as a newborn, and breastfed for a few months, but no one really supported me and my mom was constantly pressuring me to use formula. With my Little Boy, we co-slept and breastfed, but his dad and grandma were always pushing me to give him formula so it would be "easier". Co-sleeping always ended when breastfeeding did.

Now, my fiance and I are going to TTC at the end of the year, and I want things to change. My boys are 6 and 4, but I feel like it's not too late. I definitely want to breastfeed as long as Future Baby is up for it, and I tell my fiance at every opportunity that if he or his family or my family tries to pressure me to stop this time, I will not tolerate it. I want to go all the way: homebirth, babywearing, cloth diaper, etc. It's not hard to figure out how to change my parenting style with a new baby.

But I need help to make the change with the children I already have, where I already have a parenting style (albeit one I do not like and feel doesn't work for us). On top of that, I need help with finding a way to gently introduce my fiance into this style of parenting as well. In the last weeks, I have worked hard to focus on gentle discipline with my boys, and it's amazing how much it works right away! I feel pretty overwhelmed but deeply excited.
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  #2  
March 16th, 2013, 02:56 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 6,899
Welcome to the board and I REALLY hope you will stick around!! I look forward to getting to know better.

First, kudos to you for so many things! For being strong and breastfeeding and co-sleeping and following your instincts on that. For being strong against the pressure from others. And most importantly for being honest with yourself about those things that didn't feel right. Not many people are willing or even ABLE to admit to themselves that they aren't happy with the way they are parenting, which prevents them from being able to grow. We should all be willing to grow for our children. That right there tells me whatever happens from here, your kids are going to grow up knowing they are loved and with all the benefits that brings.

Try to remember no one gets it perfect and there's no one right way or right solution. There's plenty of healthy and beneficial things a parent can do and plenty of things they can screw up on, even when they are trying their best! But aiming for the healthiest and most beneficial choices--which you sound like are--is the being the best kind of parent there is. You really totally rock for that!

If you are looking for positive discipline ideas, you can always post problems here for help. Everyone is super supportive and helpful with that. Same with breastfeeding troubles and the like. Even emotional support, such as dealing with family that doesn't support your decisions, can be found on this board.

Also for gentle discipline, there are some great books I could recommend. I mean, there's a TON, but there's 2 I always recommend as starters that I think help a LOT. They are the ones I revisit for refreshers because they give us GREAT results but honestly sometimes I forget to utilize those suggestions. Oops...

Anyway, I don't want to bombard you, but please feel free to post any specific concerns or questions so we can help, or ask questions or share concerns about attachment parenting in general. Whatever you need, you'll find an abundance of love and support here.

So glad to have you here.
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Check out the Attachment Parenting Board for Effective Parenting Solutions.
PM me if have questions about autism, TTC gender swaying, natural childbirth, going "vaccine-free", or if you are looking for gentle discipline advice.
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  #3  
March 20th, 2013, 03:41 PM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,974
I am so sorry that I have not welcomed you! I am Jess, Mamma to Drake who is 15 months old and wife to Dave. I am also your Co-Host. We recently just moved and still do not have the internet so I have like no time to get on.

I am glad that you came on over to the AP Board. You will find tons and tons of love and support here. The ladies here are just wonderful! I hope to see you around more!
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Want to find a calmer way to parent? Please visit here HINTA Hitting Is Never The Answer
Gentle parenting is about guiding instead of controlling,
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and encouraging instead of demanding.
It's about listening, understanding, responding and communicating.

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