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  • 2 Post By Social Halfwit
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  #1  
March 28th, 2013, 06:10 AM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 6,905
Do you have any goals or dreams or a career outside of being a stay at home mom?

In the early days, all I did was parenting. And being a parent is still my number one thing in life. But along the way, I realized one day they will grow up and leave, and I wanted to have something--something that was about me. That's when I got involved in literature arts. (Writing, Editing, Publishing, and Marketing). But I admit that all to often it's too easy to just get wrapped up in what my kids are doing and slack on my "work" and forget about my goals and dreams for a while.
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  #2  
March 28th, 2013, 09:14 AM
Social Halfwit's Avatar the shade of it all
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Denver
Posts: 964
I really want to be a doula and lactation consultant. Having children and going through labor made me realize that every woman that chooses to have children should have an amazing labor experience, and should be supported through it. I had so many people doubting me and telling me what to do when I was in labor, I wish I'd had someone that was there to root for me and stand in my corner, and that's exactly what I want to do for other women. I want women to feel empowered by birth and breastfeeding.

I also want to join a local program that teaches Deaf teens about healthy relationships and domestic violence, and that would probably branch into helping Deaf teens who are pregnant.

But I don't plan on doing any of that for a while, at least until we're done having children, so it can seem pretty far off and impossible.
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  #3  
March 28th, 2013, 09:57 AM
Destiny
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,755
I would also like to be a doula, I think that right now, my life is too busy to have any goals outside of my children, but I study when I have time.
I think in a few years I might be able to actually work towards my goals. Part of it makes me very afraid, sometimes I think I should just keep having kids so I can stay in my comfort zone, but I don't think that would be fair to them.
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  #4  
March 28th, 2013, 10:01 AM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 6,905
I would also love to be a double or lactation consultant! But something like that I also don't think I could do while raising my kids (As those things tend to go on other people's schedule). But most likely, when my kids are older I'll just have more time to work on my current ventures.
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  #5  
March 28th, 2013, 10:10 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
I had a brief career before getting pregnant. I have a Master of Science degree in a field of environmental science, I was in a PhD program but decided it wasn't for me, it was a somewhat extreme decision because I was deep into it, almost done with classes, passed my qualifying exams and about to convene a committee and defend my topic proposal. But the pressure was getting to me and I didn't want the life I saw ahead on that path. So I left with a master's, worked in consulting and then government for a few years. I feel like I have a lot of knowledge and training that I am not using too much right now, but I know it will still be back there somewhere. I can still discuss the ideas. Like I remember there was a theorem proving X but can't remember what it was called.

I am planning to wait until the youngest (whenever we are done lol... hopefully 3 or 4 total!) is in school, then do some community college classes to brush up my skills. The software tools will be new and different, so I will get up to date on the latest mapping, data analysis/visualization, office/spreadsheet/database, and maybe some Illustrator or similar, software. Then I will probably try to get a job working for a lab at the local university as a research assistant or research scientist of some kind, maybe in biology, earth science, or some kind of data heavy social sciences. My dad is a professor there so I will have contacts through him, he has indicated it would be pretty easy to get me a job in one of his buddy's labs. I am not super ambitious to get a PhD and do big time research of my own. I have realized that I am happier when I just have some data to explore and analyze and write up, the busywork!, but I hate dealing with conferences and presentations, networking and politics, getting funding, and generally having responsibility
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  #6  
March 28th, 2013, 02:38 PM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,756
I also was on a career track before getting pregnant. I was in a PhD program in Microbiology. I had a family health emergency and took a leave of absence. In the meantime my DH graduated and got a job in another state, so I ended up leaving with a Master's. I was pretty far into the program, finished with classes and probably less than a year from getting my PhD, but I wasn't willing to be separated from DH for any longer. I also was feeling kind of disillusioned about science in academia, and was feeling like it wasn't going to work out for me to have that career and have a family. So I didn't feel too reluctant about leaving with a Master's.

Right now, I don't have too much longing to get back into a career, and I don't feel like I will any time soon. I do need to get a part time job and may look into editing or teaching in my field, but that's about it for now. Right now, my family is all I need.
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  #7  
March 28th, 2013, 05:34 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 6,905
I think all anyone EVER needs is their family. I have noticed that since I pursuing things other than mommy-ing, a lot of my other relationships in life have improved. As much as I love talking about my kids all day, it's apparently not all anyone else wants to hear about LOL Now I have things to talk about in addition to telling the latest stories about my kids. It's improved my relationship with my husband, too. BUT in my case, I think I was unhealthily OBSESSED with being a mom for many years, and I needed something to focus on other than just 24/7/100% mommy. I am also a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend . . . and it took me finding my own interests to realize that. I am guessing most people don't need to do that because they are better at the whole "balance" thing. That was always the hardest part of AP for me.
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  #8  
March 28th, 2013, 06:19 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
I sometimes wish I had more time for creative hobbies, but I don't feel too imbalanced as a mom in general. We'll see if that changes over time but having my smartphone and being able to read lots of books and articles and current events helps me feel less isolated. I read about a lot of topics other than pregnancy and parenting, technology, science, politics, world affairs, local news, etc so I don't feel like my kid(s) is the only thing I can talk about. The fact that I can read all that stuff instantly from a small hand held device, while BFing or lying with a napping baby or sitting with DD while she plays, I think that is pretty amazing. I remember my friend's mom talking about how she read War and Peace cover to cover, twice, while BFing her kids, and was bored out of her mind and couldn't wait to go back to work... I could imagine that would suck!!! But I have a completely different experience and I do credit technology for that.
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  #9  
March 28th, 2013, 07:43 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: right of center
Posts: 19,156
I had a career before having kids, and still work from home when I'm able (which lately isn't much ). I love, love, love my job (auditor) and I think I'm pretty darn good at it, but I don't see myself returning to work full-time. I'm 90% sure we will be homeschooling our kids, so that will keep me very busy for the next 18 years.

Right now I don't have a lot of time for hobbies, volunteering, etc. but hopefully that will change as the babies get older. I am excited about this next chapter!
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  #10  
March 29th, 2013, 04:54 AM
sareymac's Avatar Mommy to Gary & Adalyn
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: OCNY
Posts: 6,431
Well this probably doesn't pertain to me because I am not a sahm. But my goals are to keep moving into higher positions. I work for the government and while its a mediocre job with okay pay. . .the health insurance is free and the best around & i like my job. I wish I could stay home with my son, but this works for us and owning a home in NY is NOT cheap.
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  #11  
March 29th, 2013, 08:53 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,297
I actually am one who loves to have that "other part" of me besides mom and wife. I still communicate with people I worked with before I had Liam and I fully plan to return to school/work after my youngest child is in school (we are still thinking four kids, possibly). It helps "keep me smart." Lol. I always feel slightly intellectually slow if I don't engage in conversations outside parenting. So I still try to keep up on new psychology, laws, and updates in my field. And it helps that one co-worker has a child now and we do play dates and talk shop a lot

I would like to get my Masters in social work when the kids are older and I do wish to work with the same population I was working with before I left. Pregnant addicts combines a lot of my interests into one...the addiction counseling aspect, the interest in pregnancy and needing to know the ins and outs of it and its potential complications, the teaching of the clients how to parent effectively after the child is born, etc. It was emotionally difficult sometimes, but also very fulfilling. I look forward to going back some day. Just not today!

I also feel that I might be intended to make some kind of difference in the world of eating disorders. I am often asked to attend medical symposiums at Johns Hopkins involving outcomes and treatments, given I was treated there and am fully recovered. It feels like maybe I went through it all for a reason...but I don't know what that reason is. I don't know how to really make a difference using where I was and where I am now. But if something ever comes up, on a more personal level (although I have done two or three grand rounds at the hospital and have spoken to current patients about recovery), I think I'll try to do something related to it. I could never do public speaking though, so that option is out. Lol.
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  #12  
March 29th, 2013, 12:19 PM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,974
When Drake is a little older I would like to get into photography more, maybe have my own little business. Nothing crazy. But I would love to photograph babies and kids. I have such a passion for it. I am always with my camera. I have a Canon Rebel T3, and I LOVE it!
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