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I still feel bad, what's wrong with me?!


Forum: Attachment Parenting

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  • 2 Post By alwayssmile
  • 1 Post By alittlelost
  • 1 Post By sareymac

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  #1  
April 19th, 2013, 11:20 AM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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When Drake was much younger, less then a year I used to have a routine, for me. In the morning I would make my coffee and I would JM while he ate puffs and watched Mickey Mouse. Well, I am doing it right now and yes I am enjoying myself but I feel awful about it. Why?...I am allowed to do something for me every now and then, but I feel like I am neglecting him. DH is always like "Babe, he is with you, you are not neglecting him." I just cannot help but think if I am not always "WITH" him meaning playing then I am neglecting him. Ugh.
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  #2  
April 19th, 2013, 11:29 AM
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I think that sometimes my kiddo is fine just parallel playing with me. I play on the computer, she plays with her toys. Every now and then we interract but it doesnt have to be constant.

Is it because he's bigger that you feel things should be different? He's with you all day long, I'm sure you do loads of things together.
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  #3  
April 19th, 2013, 11:58 AM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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We do everything together. He is such a Mamma's boy. He wants me all the time, which I totally love. He does not whine, he will just touch me and like lean up on me waiting to play. I wish I did not feel this way, because I know he is not actually neglected.
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Want to find a calmer way to parent? Please visit here HINTA Hitting Is Never The Answer
Gentle parenting is about guiding instead of controlling,
connecting instead of punishing,
and encouraging instead of demanding.
It's about listening, understanding, responding and communicating.

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  #4  
April 19th, 2013, 12:23 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Part of being a good parent is teaching healthy independent skills. There's nothing wrong with taking a little time to yourself. I promise. If anything, it makes you a BETTER mom <3
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  #5  
April 19th, 2013, 12:36 PM
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I view me time as a good thing for the kids too.
When they don't nap (and consequently give me the chance to put up my feet and relax a little) I don't parent as well as I could. So instead of seeing it as a selfish thing you do, remember that what's good for mommy is good for baby, and it's certainly not hurting him.
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  #6  
April 19th, 2013, 02:39 PM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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Thank you ladies. I do feel a little better. I just wish I did not feel this way. I really think it's because of my child hood. I did not have a great one so I feel like I have to be with him every single second of every single day.
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Want to find a calmer way to parent? Please visit here HINTA Hitting Is Never The Answer
Gentle parenting is about guiding instead of controlling,
connecting instead of punishing,
and encouraging instead of demanding.
It's about listening, understanding, responding and communicating.

)O( Peace on Earth begins at Home )O(

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  #7  
April 19th, 2013, 03:41 PM
alwayssmile's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My son is a 6am riser. I am not. We have an agreement that I'll get up with him, but we don't play. He gets his sippy of milk and a kid's movie. I get my coffee. After two cups I'm willing to socialize with him. lol. Zoe tends to sleep until 8 or so.
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  #8  
April 19th, 2013, 04:01 PM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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to After two cups I'm willing to socialize with him

I am not a morning person either. Well, I like my sleep.

Today while I was posting Drake was sitting by my feet watching Mickey and I felt awful. Grr. I wish I didn't. I mean, not like I flat out ignore him ya know? I talk to him and will turn to him and play with him for a minute.
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Thank you *Kiliki* for my perfect siggy

Want to find a calmer way to parent? Please visit here HINTA Hitting Is Never The Answer
Gentle parenting is about guiding instead of controlling,
connecting instead of punishing,
and encouraging instead of demanding.
It's about listening, understanding, responding and communicating.

)O( Peace on Earth begins at Home )O(

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  #9  
April 19th, 2013, 05:15 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Just try to remember that good parenting is about balance. If you entertain him every second of every day, that would be hurting him, not helping him. You shouldn't feel guilty about making decisions that are good for both of you.
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  #10  
April 19th, 2013, 08:48 PM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alittlelost View Post
Part of being a good parent is teaching healthy independent skills. There's nothing wrong with taking a little time to yourself. I promise.
Definitely It is totally healthy for kids to have some independent play time. They need it. You aren't doing a thing wrong.

I know what you mean about feeling bad unnecessarily, though. I think it is natural when you want so much to give a child what you never had.
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  #11  
April 20th, 2013, 02:26 AM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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I guess this is something I need to work on. Tonight I was posting and he was sitting at my feet wanting my attention. I obviously stopped what I was doing, I just feel bad. Did I say I feel bad?!
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Thank you *Kiliki* for my perfect siggy

Want to find a calmer way to parent? Please visit here HINTA Hitting Is Never The Answer
Gentle parenting is about guiding instead of controlling,
connecting instead of punishing,
and encouraging instead of demanding.
It's about listening, understanding, responding and communicating.

)O( Peace on Earth begins at Home )O(

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  #12  
April 20th, 2013, 09:22 AM
sareymac's Avatar Mommy to Gary & Adalyn
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You spend every second of every day with him. A few minutes not playing with him is completely normal and necessary! You should not feel bad at all. If he's sitting there crying at you thats a different story. Sometimes they like to do their own thing! Relax. You're going above and beyond. Which is wonderful. Please stop beating yourself up!
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  #13  
April 20th, 2013, 10:14 AM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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I try! And, thank you. I'm crazy.
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Thank you *Kiliki* for my perfect siggy

Want to find a calmer way to parent? Please visit here HINTA Hitting Is Never The Answer
Gentle parenting is about guiding instead of controlling,
connecting instead of punishing,
and encouraging instead of demanding.
It's about listening, understanding, responding and communicating.

)O( Peace on Earth begins at Home )O(

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