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  • 1 Post By alittlelost
  • 1 Post By alittlelost

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  #1  
April 30th, 2013, 11:31 PM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
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I know I posted a while back about this girl and her son - the one who liked to scream at him, call him names, hit him, etc. Really inappropriate stuff IMO. Much as I really, really wanted to help her, you guys were right. I had to cut her out of my life and walk away. I tried my best and she got angry over it, which is the point of no return really. Nobody who is ticked at you is going to take your advice.

Anyway, it's been months since I talked to her. She was at the upstairs neighbors (where she gets high) tonight when we got home, of course with her son. It was 11:30pm, half the neighbors outside were beyond drunk with music blasting, and he was on the porch crying and coughing. You could tell it was that "I'm exhausted" cry, and she was just standing there staring at him, smoking a cigarette. Before BF closed the door I heard her griping at him to be quiet. As if it's his fault he's tired and isn't at home in his bed where he should be!

It seriously breaks my heart. It just isn't fair, these poor kids have parents that are uneducated or just plain don't care. They didn't ask to be born. They d*mn well deserve better. I will never understand how a parent can be that way. Sheer ignorance is not reason enough, there must be some other element there. I wish there was anything I could do to make their lives better. I hate being powerless to make a difference for children (I did file a report with a state worker about her and the neighbor smoking marijuana with the kids in the room but it was second hand information and so couldn't be used). Ugh

Sorry, I guess I just needed to vent.
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  #2  
May 1st, 2013, 03:08 AM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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I have noticed that the majority of people that get seriously offended and change when they are approached with a situation are people that are not AP. Serious. It's like they are already not so gentle so they get more mad then what someone else might get. Does this make sense?

But, I am glad that you cut ties with her. I could not witness that. And this breaks my heart to know what is going on. Honestly, if I was you I would call CPS. I would not "watch" that go on and not do anything about it. Even if they find nothing the first time I am sure there will be a second time and then a third and then something will pop up. That poor little boy. You are right. Babies do not ask tobe born so when they come into this world they do NOT deserve to be treated poorly. I wish ALL people knew this, because I swear, I feel like some people do not "know" because they are just so cruel. I could not imagine gripping my child because he was crying and tired. That's abuse in my book. And the fact that he was out with a bunch of drunk and high adults just baffles me. What the heck goes on in her head?! What is this little boy being exposed to?! I feel SO sad.

I'm sorry you even have to see / know that! That can destroy ones heart. I feel so so bad. I wish there was something we could do. That's the problem. There is so little we can do. And we wonder why there is so much crime in this world. Look how most children are treated...
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  #3  
May 1st, 2013, 04:49 AM
sareymac's Avatar Mommy to Gary & Adalyn
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I was soooo gonna post something along the same lines. Like, if you know something someone is doing how do you even approach it??!
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  #4  
May 1st, 2013, 05:38 AM
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Oh wow. I feel so bad for that kid. It is so sad how some people treat their children they don't deserve that. I understand that accident pregnancies happen (i had 2 lol) but you choose to have the kid and keep it step up and be responsible. Sorry if that is harsh. I just think its so unfair to the kids.

Can you call the police about the marijuana smoking? Maybe if they come and see the kid there cps can do something about it.

Hugs. I am sure it is so tough to see someone that you used to be friends with treating their kid that way. It is probably for the best that you cut ties if she wasn't listening to you and getting angry. I don't know why some people just can't take advice.
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  #5  
May 1st, 2013, 01:05 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would keep calling child services over each instance. Where I live by law they have to investigate no matter what and eventually they will catch them in the act. Maybe next time call the cops about loud music and drugs while its happening and let THEM discover the child present when they ge there. Child services will consider a cops word evidence.
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  #6  
May 1st, 2013, 01:59 PM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You really should report them. It sounds like neglect which is child abuse.
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  #7  
May 1st, 2013, 04:25 PM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
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It does (make sense). I grew up much the same way and nobody ever saw the harm in it. I think that is why it upsets me so much, even with kids I don't know. I babysat him for seven months, so there's no not knowing him in it. It makes me even more furious because I did get attached to him.

In her case, she never wanted kids, got pregnant from a one night stand, and resents this little boy for it. She gets mad anytime being a parent interferes with what she wants to do. It is so sad. I don't understand how anyone can blame a baby for their mistake.

Quote:
Originally Posted by IronMamma View Post
I wish there was something we could do. That's the problem. There is so little we can do. And we wonder why there is so much crime in this world. Look how most children are treated...
SO right.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sareymac View Post
I was soooo gonna post something along the same lines. Like, if you know something someone is doing how do you even approach it??!
It's difficult for CPS to do much here. I haven't ever witnessed it myself so my account isn't considered "enough." I wish it would even get them to pay her a visit and scare some sense into her. The worker I talked to is in this girls house every month for well-baby check ups and she is a mandated reporter. She said she would look into it but probably could not do much. The only thing this girl does that is actually illegal is smoke with him around, and she doesn't do that at home (her mom won't let her). The worker can't tell me what comes of it either way. However today the landlord mentioned "all the drugs" in this apartment complex and that he wants these people out. BF let him know that the upstairs neighbors are potheads, that their son sells it when he comes over, and he said the landlord was pretty pissed. There's been a "rumor" floating around the neighbors about cops watching these last three buildings. Apparently they got called last night over the loud music. Maybe something will finally be done!
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Last edited by NinjaCakes; May 1st, 2013 at 04:27 PM.
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  #8  
May 2nd, 2013, 03:20 AM
ComfortablyMum's Avatar <3 Mummy 2 Eve <3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NinjaCakes View Post
In her case, she never wanted kids, got pregnant from a one night stand, and resents this little boy for it. She gets mad anytime being a parent interferes with what she wants to do. It is so sad. I don't understand how anyone can blame a baby for their mistake.
There is a such thing as abortion or adoption. Do you know why she chose neither?

I feel so sad hearing this I am not one to condone this sort of behaviour, but I wonder why she didn't put him down in the friend's bed or something while she was there. So sad
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  #9  
May 2nd, 2013, 10:39 AM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NinjaCakes View Post
I haven't ever witnessed it myself so my account isn't considered "enough."
You DID witness it when you saw that kid outside while they were partying at 11 at night!! You CAN call the cops about that and the cops will bring child services in. If the kid is of school age, you can also contact the school and tell them to please look for any signs of abuse or neglect for the little boy. Then if they notice anything, they can call. Child Services is more likely to listen to physicians, school personal, and cops.
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  #10  
May 2nd, 2013, 02:58 PM
ratladee's Avatar Madison Marie, My Sweet P
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I don't know her, but based on this I doubt she even knew she was pregnant to where she could get an abortion before it got to be too far along.
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  #11  
May 2nd, 2013, 11:02 PM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
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The police were out here that night. Unfortunately they did nothing except threaten tickets if the music wasn't turned down. Same thing last night.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ComfortablyMum View Post
There is a such thing as abortion or adoption. Do you know why she chose neither?

I feel so sad hearing this I am not one to condone this sort of behaviour, but I wonder why she didn't put him down in the friend's bed or something while she was there. So sad
Ratldee is right, she was decently far along by the time she took a test. She admitted being in "denial" for over a month. As for adoption, I think family pressure. Her mother is a very sweet woman but she is strong in her convictions.

I have struggled myself to understand why she doesn't put him in another room at the very least. When we were friends I was an always available free babysitter, offered to watch him anytime. I could understand saying no except that I watched him every day when she had a job and she would often bring him over when she wanted to go do things without him. She refused her sisters offers, too, and she lives in the same building as I do. You couldn't get two more convenient sitters. I just don't know. Maternal drive? Guilt, maybe?
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  #12  
May 3rd, 2013, 08:38 AM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You can also call child services again and tell them what happened, that the police came, and that maybe they should contact the police dept. and see if any of the cops remember seeing more going on. I find it really surprising that there were drugs and the cops did nothing, or that there was a kid being neglected outside and they didn't do something about it. Makes me upset because it seems like cops are ALWAYS harassing people for NOTHING but then look the other way over things that should be legitimate concerns. I wish I could say I'm surprised, but I'm not. My experience is that the MAJORITY of cops are that way. There's some good ones out there, but they're drowning in a sea of a bad cops.
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