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  • 2 Post By Pretty Crispy
  • 1 Post By IronMamma
  • 1 Post By ComfortablyMum
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  #1  
June 16th, 2013, 02:34 PM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
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"I'll just do it and you won't know about it."

I have serious issues with the idea of people doing things to or with my child that I won't know about, or teaching a child that it is ok to keep secrets from adults, especially parents. Seriously though, is there ANY mama here who wouldn't nearly stroke out at having that said to them when their child is concerned?! I can't believe it!! Who the h*ll thinks that way?!?
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  #2  
June 16th, 2013, 03:58 PM
Pretty Crispy's Avatar Proud Momma
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I'd be pissed if someone said that to me and would be sure to never leave my child alone with them for a second.
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  #3  
June 16th, 2013, 04:09 PM
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Ditto mrskk, I would never leave my kid with someone who said that. That is incredibly creepy and so insulting.
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  #4  
June 16th, 2013, 04:17 PM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
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Is there something in particular you a referring to? Like your mom saying she was going to feed your child peanuts or something like that?

I wouldn't be cool with someone saying that either.
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Last edited by joonzgurl; June 16th, 2013 at 04:22 PM.
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  #5  
June 16th, 2013, 04:29 PM
KMH KMH is offline
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That wouldn't be okay with me at all. Ever!
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  #6  
June 16th, 2013, 07:25 PM
Eowyn's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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woah! I would have trouble having anything to do with anyone who would say something like that.
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  #7  
June 17th, 2013, 01:58 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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I agree with the other ladies. I would have a really hard time leaving my kids with someone who says that. Is there anything in particular that you are talking about. My mom has said that jokingly about giving them extra cookies or something but that's totally different in my opinion cuz she was joking. I guess it depends on the context is what I'm trying to say.
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  #8  
June 17th, 2013, 11:24 AM
sareymac's Avatar Mommy to Gary & Adalyn
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my father in law has jokingly said that about putting a Giants jersey on Gary hahaha. But for real. . .thats not cool.
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  #9  
June 17th, 2013, 12:17 PM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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I would not be ok with that. I have serious trust issues with people anyway so if someone said that, joking or not I would never let them be with my son if I was not around.
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  #10  
June 18th, 2013, 01:17 AM
ComfortablyMum's Avatar <3 Mummy 2 Eve <3
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Ditto all the other ladies! That is not right in my books, so Eve would never be allowed with said people alone. Ever. Joking about my child's well-being is not okay.
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  #11  
June 18th, 2013, 06:51 AM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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This scares me a little about DH's Mom. She has never met Drake and we have not seen her in over 3 years which is fine by us but we both want Drake to meet her, but she cannot be alone with him. Ever. She is very like, manipulative. She will always do the opposite of what YOU say so that is kinda like the same thing.
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  #12  
June 18th, 2013, 08:01 AM
Pretty Crispy's Avatar Proud Momma
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This is why L will not be left with any family for a LOOOOONG time. I don't trust certain people to not retract him even if we tell them not to. I know for a fact my grandparents would leave him to CIO because they did it with me and keep telling me to do it with L. I would trust my mom the most but only by herself not with her SO present. My inlaws I trust to a degree but wouldn't listen to our instructions on certain things, they would give him juice and solids even if we said absolutely not - they support breastfeeding but only up to 6 months old.. After that baby should be on solids and formula or pumped milk.
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  #13  
June 18th, 2013, 08:06 AM
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Wow I can't believe that everyones family is like that! I trust my parents with everything. We left callen with them when he was a year old for a week when we went on our honeymoon. They ask me about everything. If they weren't like that I would never leave them alone with them. That's why my kids will never be left with anyone in dh's family.
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  #14  
June 18th, 2013, 03:44 PM
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The context was not something serious, though it was actually coupled with an insult. That did not make me any happier, obviously (why would you tell a photographer that you're going to take their child to ANOTHER photographer to have their picture taken in the RIGHT kind of clothes?). I explained to her that an attitude like that is exactly what I will not accept from anyone. I am not like that family - I am not ok with secrets or lies. Those are the things children learn that make them prime targets for predators, not to mention destroy any sense of security they have in their own family.

The baby isn't even here yet and she already disagrees with the few of my parenting beliefs I've shared. Disagreeing is fine, but disrespecting and disregarding are not. If I can't trust someone to respect me with the small things, I can't trust them with the big ones, and currently I don't trust her with anything. I don't even trust my own mom. I barely know this woman and she has always just assumed she would be allowed to have this baby alone. Never has she bothered to consult me. She bought a baby swing, a stroller, even clothes for HER house (because I don't know how to dress a baby - I have to learn to dress her "cute" - she has a laundry list of things she *doesn't want to see* on this baby. Pardon me but who the f*ck do you think you are?). Her control issues make it very clear that if my child was left alone with her, she wouldn't respect my wishes. I don't even know if she knows how to properly take care of a baby - her kids are almost 30. A LOT has changed since they were little, and her kids are screwed up to boot.

When I told her she has no rights at all to this kid without my permission she flipped a lid. Why would you ever think it would be any different? And why is seeing this baby without me around so god d*mn important?! That creeps me out two fold. She thinks because she is family she has a license to do what she wants. She "didn't think" she would need to ask. WHY?! I don't understand why people assume they have any rights to someone else's kid!
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Last edited by NinjaCakes; June 19th, 2013 at 12:42 PM.
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  #15  
June 18th, 2013, 05:03 PM
ComfortablyMum's Avatar <3 Mummy 2 Eve <3
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woah! That is insane!!

I think this lady needs a reality check and an introduction to the new world!
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  #16  
June 18th, 2013, 07:58 PM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
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Oh wow, that sounds quite stressful!!!
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