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AP Mommy Personality


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  • 1 Post By alittlelost
  • 1 Post By NinjaCakes
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  #1  
October 1st, 2013, 08:28 AM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think AP moms come with all different personalities, obviously, but I feel like I notice this distinct personality *trait* in at least MOST AP mommies, and I think that's why I always find being around other AP mommies so peaceful (even when we disagree on things, though that's not so often haha)

Anyway, maybe it's just my experience? I'm curious if anyone else has the same experience.

For example, I find AP-mommies are more likely to be interested in other people and their kids and less interested in talking about themselves. They are more likely to say "How are you?" than "Hey, guess what happened to me!" (Not that AP mommies don't talk about themselves ever or that non-AP mommies only talk about themselves. I'm NOT thinking in extremes here, just that I notice a slight difference in the balance)

Another thing I notice is just generally the way AP mommies treat people. I don't just mean babies or kids, either. Let me just say, I've never been cursed out by AP mommies. I'm not saying AP mommies don't curse or never argue, but just in my experience they aren't the kind of people to go around calling names and goading people or expressing their anger through lashing out. Of course, maybe some do. I'm just saying that since I don't see it, it seems like it happens a lot less with AP mommies. Again, doesn't mean non-AP mamas are running around cussing people out and in full-blown rages all the time. Just that I don't see that often with AP mamas.

I think that's what makes me feel comfortable with other AP mamas. Even before I know they are AP mamas! Like I meet people sometimes and I think "Wow, what a genuinely GOOD person." They are so genuinely nice, that it's radiating from them. You know, like you can just TELL that it's not a good mood or an act, it's just who they are. They might get upset sometimes or angry sometimes, but there is this genuine goodness about them. Well, do you know EVERY person I have gotten that feeling with turned out to be an AP mama? Or if they didn't have kids at the time, LATER became an AP mama??? It's truly amazing. I swear, it's like there's this AP mama gene that attributes to a PART of their personality. By contrast, I do know some amazing mamas who aren't AP, but when I come across the type of person to cuss someone out and tear them down, I am yet to later find out they are an AP mama. Again, not saying it doesn't happen, just my experience, so I was wondering if anyone's experience is the same.

I love me some AP mamas <3 And the great thing is that when I feel like I've been exposed to just a little too much hostility or negativity in life, I can submerse myself in the AP community and it makes me feel better and immediately restores my waning faith in humanity. I don't know what I would do without mamas like you in this world.
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  #2  
October 1st, 2013, 08:12 PM
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I really don't have many AP friends irl, and in all honesty I feel like I only scratch the surface of AP style parenting. That said I feel that some people are better suited to the parenting style because of their personality than others, but I would say that while I try to always be respectful of others, I don't really fit into the 'personality' you describe.
As well, I would describe almost all of my friends using the traits that you use to describe Ap parents.... But like I said, I'm not around many attachment parents, so it's hard to compare.
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  #3  
October 1st, 2013, 08:31 PM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I see a big difference, but I'm around such a mix and such extreme ends of the spectrum, so I guess I have more to compare on? I also notice a difference with AP kids. I can tell by meeting a kid if their parents AP or not. Of course, I don't ask, but it does eventually "come out" and I'm always thinking "I KNEW IT!" haha. But I've honestly never had an AP mommy be downright nasty to me. Whereas with non-AP mommies, the experience has been hit or miss. This isn't to say non-ap mommies don't have this personality trait (many do!) but that I feel like ALL ap mommies I have met have this trait. (and it's not really a personality so much as a trait. I feel like I don't have to worry about any AP mommies intentionally hurting me just to be nasty or for sport. BUT I don't have to worry about most non-AP mamas doing that either. It's more person-to-person with them, though) I just don't have to worry about an AP mommy being downright mean to me. And hey, you don't seem like you're downright mean either. You trying to tell me I'm wrong about that haha? I doubt that's the case
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Last edited by alittlelost; October 1st, 2013 at 08:34 PM.
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  #4  
October 4th, 2013, 04:24 AM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
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I have only met two other AP parents, a husband and wife, for about 45 minutes. It was really refreshing. I have nobody else to compare to, but they were both very nice and very open. I liked them. I still text/facebook the wife occasionally with questions.

I will say this, I can be two different people. If I'm depressed I can be combative and down right mean, but that does not extend to children. It is usually a specific kind of person that triggers it (lazy, inconsiderate, dishonest - the same kind that annoy me all the time, I just lose my filter). When I'm not depressed though, well it had been so many years since I wasn't that when I was properly medicated I didn't know what to think. I suddenly had tolerance for almost all people, and was much nicer in general. I don't know which me is the real me, but as long as the me that I am with children is the one that I like, I'm ok with that.

I think the point you raise has validity. Perhaps the practice of peacefulness in life for people's children helps create peacefulness within.
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  #5  
October 4th, 2013, 09:34 AM
alittlelost's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think you pretty much nailed it! We try to create a peaceful atmosphere for our kids, and we become more peaceful. Of course, no one is perfect. Even the calmest AP parent I know have admitted to me they lose their cool sometimes. But lets face it, not everyone's priority is to create a peaceful environment for their kids, so when you meet people who do have that priority, of course your experience with them will be a little different. And as you aid, it's refreshing!
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  #6  
October 5th, 2013, 11:03 PM
NinjaCakes's Avatar Awesomesauce
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This reminded me of the book my brother let me borrow - it was an interview with the dahlai Obama (sp?) . He pretty much says just that - practicing peacefulness in life brings peacefulness within yourself.
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