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Hi, all. My baby is 6 months old and still sleeps in bed with me, nursing to sleep when he wakes during the night. I'm fine with this, but I catch crap for it from all my other mommy friends. I feel like, eventually, he'll just be ready to sleep on his own one day without me forcing it. Can any of you please just confirm that with first-hand testimony? I don't know any other attachment parents in real life.
I'm a FTM too, but my dh had kids when I met him. At least the youngest 3 nursed to sleep, co-slept, etc. They're 10, 7 and almost 5 now. They sleep just fine, in their own space and without needing to be nursed.
I would try not to worry about your friends who have different parenting ideals. You're never going to make EVERYONE happy, so you might as well just roll with what works for you and your family.
I get it though. It's tough to be a new mom and deal with the naysayers.
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Yeah I don't even talk to people about our sleeping arrangements. I even lie to the doctor. My LO is 11 months and we sleep on a queen bed in his room. My DH sleeps in our room (he snores and hits the snooze button like 42 times every morning so I sleep better in LO's room).
My LO nurses to sleep and he still wakes up 6-8 times a night for a snack. It is DRAINING but I don't care. I used to work as a lactation consultant and when I did my training, the midwife who taught it explained it like "if you were sleeping next to a piece of chocolate cake, wouldn't you want to nibble on it?". Nursing babies wake up more because they know they will actually get comfort. Don't feel bad. Just think about how much love your baby is getting.
I understand the feelings though because everyone is backwards. I just got home from a birthday party with parents who are very much "old school" and the mom was like "yeah on Fridays you should drop your LO off here when I am home so you can clean house and hang out". I was like Huh? When I am home, I want my kid home. Yeah it is harder to get stuff done but you have a baby. That is life. We do things as a family. I just think everyone else is secretly jealous of the fact that you can listen to your gut and love your baby the way you both need to give and receive love while they listen to someone else who quilted them in to going against their gut.
If you want medical advice to support your parenting and cosleeping, you can google Dr. Sears. He is amazing. He actually encourages cosleeping until the kid is 2 years old and has all the studies to prove it.
I have two sons. My first I was a very new and scared parent. I co-slept with him and nursed on demand for the first 8 months of his life. Then those nay-Sayers you are talking about got into my head and told me how abnormal it was for him to still need to eat at night and sleep with me, so I thought maybe they were right, maybe it wasn't normal. None of my friends had kids, so I wasn't really able to ask around. So I decided to start getting him into is crib around 10 months. I tried gentle ways, I tried lots of rocking, I tried not nursing to sleep, etc, etc, etc. And eventually, I let him cry in spurts of 5-10-15 minutes until he "learned" to not wake up so many times and sleep without me. Did it help? Kinda. But it was probably the decision I most regret in my parenting. I wish I had let him decide that for himself. He was VERY normal to be with me and waking and nursing like that, it's how they feel safe and cared for. Now, he is a kind and delightful 4-year-old, but I still do wish I had not listened to everyone else and just listened to myself. It was not worth the heartache and potential issues I could have caused.
My second son coslept and nursed at will until he nightweaned himself at 13 months and started sleeping through the night at 15 months. We did decide early on to put him to sleep at the start of the night in his crib and the rest of the night he slept in bed with me (after that first wake-up, even if it was only an hour). So, as he aged, he gradually slept less in my bed (at 6 months, I think he was only getting maybe 2 hours in his crib, then the rest in my bed). But we needed no crying, no urging, nothing. One night he just slept right through til morning and was done sleeping with me. I would have been fine if he had gone much longer.
Our daughter is 8 months and is doing the same thing my second son does. She goes down in her crib at the start of the night and sleeps about 3 hours in there. Then I bring her into bed with me for the rest of the night. I am truthfully not even sure how often she nurses for the rest of the night, maybe not at all, maybe 5 times! Lol. I don't wake enough to remember. It's working great for both of us. I am confident this is the right avenue for us.
(I hope that helps. Please trust your mommy instincts, they are there for a reason!)
I am cosleeping with my 4th (also a June baby). Cosleeping has saved her life at least 3 times now that we know of for sure. I also co-slept with my first 3. they all moved to "big kid" beds in their own rooms around the age of 15-18 months. It was a slow transition, and they still love to cuddle, but it was no big deal
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