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  #1  
August 25th, 2005, 06:48 PM
tiggers_best_buddy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I was just wondering what the CIO method everyone talks about that goes with co-sleeping and attachment parenting
Amanda
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  #2  
August 25th, 2005, 07:49 PM
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CIO is cry it out. It's when people let their child cry because the child isn't hungry or wet just wants love. People who practive AP do NOT do CIO. I find it cruel and I feel hurts the child's bond with mommy
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  #3  
August 26th, 2005, 08:17 AM
Radish4ever's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Alisteal is right - Most AP mothers do not believe in CIO because it can teach a child to "shut down" emotionally and weaken the bond with the mother.
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  #4  
August 26th, 2005, 09:44 AM
tiggers_best_buddy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you very much this is my first and I am lookoing around at different ways to do things
Amanda
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  #5  
September 2nd, 2005, 06:27 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't believe in CIO. I am strongly against it for the same reasons the other ladies said.
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  #6  
September 8th, 2005, 11:42 PM
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I have to say I let my oldest daughter cry in her crib a few times when she was a baby. Does that mean we arent bonded? She is now 9yrs old and we are very close.
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  #7  
September 9th, 2005, 09:50 AM
Radish4ever's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally posted by mommyBee@Sep 9 2005, 12:42 AM
I have to say I let my oldest daughter cry in her crib a few times when she was a baby. Does that mean we arent bonded? She is now 9yrs old and we are very close.
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Hehe obviously you guys are bonded! I think there's a huge difference b/w letting your baby cry it out nightly and letting them cry it out occasionally - sometimes they just need to get it out of their systems! (Or sometimes you just need a short break!)

-Jenn
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  #8  
September 9th, 2005, 10:54 PM
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However my youngest sleeps with me! She is 3 now. But they are totally different types of kids I think that also makes a difference. My oldest has always been outgoing and independent the other seems to need more attention.
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  #9  
September 11th, 2005, 08:15 PM
MamaAshley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm not sure I understand how it would weaken the bond between mom and child, and make them shut down emotionally? Doesn't it teach them that crying won't get them what they want? That's always what i've been told.... And how does it weaken the bond?
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  #10  
September 11th, 2005, 08:41 PM
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Yes I alwyas heard the same.
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  #11  
September 12th, 2005, 08:33 AM
Radish4ever's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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From what I have read, it teaches them that if they cry (which is their only form of communication when they are infants), no one will be there to attend to their needs. Meaning that even if they need you, they learn not to cry because they've learned that you won't be there for them.

You're not raising a "brat" by being responsive to a crying baby, and you're not spoiling them either. When they're babies, they cry to communicate and I think it is important to respond to their communication!
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  #12  
September 12th, 2005, 09:12 AM
MamaAshley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That's a good outlook on it. I let my first daughter CIO sort of, she was used to falling asleep in bed with me and that was no longer possible, so she had to get used to falling asleep on her own around 11 months, and she threw a fit, but she learned very quickly. She learned throwing a fit wouldn't get her anywhere. My son, on the other hand, CIO is not an option with him, he will keep fussing for hours, even if I hold him, until he gets what he wants, either food, burped, whatever.... I don't think tending to their cries will spoil them either, unless my daughter is crying to get her way or b/c she's mad, but she's older now. My son we don't let cry really, he's a sensitive baby and usually only really cries when something is wrong.
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  #13  
September 13th, 2005, 08:55 AM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Honestly I don't think infants are trying to get their way when they cry. Their brains don't work that way yet. It is not a behavior thing...there is something your baby needs if he/she crys and crying is the only they can communicate that. I still don't let my almost 2 yr old cry more than a few min because usually there is some way I can help him deal with whatever is bothering him.
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  #14  
September 13th, 2005, 09:42 AM
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Kiearasmom - the only time my daughter cries uncontrollably is when I'm away from her and she is being watched by the church staff, or my mom, or my cousin! lol I agree with you - I think that (especially the younger) babies DO have preferences, but they are based on needs - such as I like my mommy most because I need HER to hug me. At least that is what Grace is doing! My mom calls that SPOILED. SHe says that she's a mommy's girl and I should leave her more often so that she can get used to being away from me.
Honestly, though - Grace eats FROM MY BREAST every 2-3 hours - why teach her that I'm not always going to be there for her when she's obviously so dependant on me for biological needs?
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  #15  
September 13th, 2005, 10:09 AM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally posted by Radish4ever@Sep 13 2005, 09:42 AM
Kiearasmom - the only time my daughter cries uncontrollably is when I'm away from her and she is being watched by the church staff, or my mom, or my cousin! lol* I agree with you - I think that (especially the younger) babies DO have preferences, but they are based on needs - such as I like my mommy most because I need HER to hug me. * At least that is what Grace is doing!* My mom calls that SPOILED.* SHe says that she's a mommy's girl and I should leave her more often so that she can get used to being away from me.
Honestly, though - Grace eats FROM MY BREAST every 2-3 hours - why teach her that I'm not always going to be there for her when she's obviously so dependant on me for biological needs?
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That must make leaving her with someone else hard. I have a hard time leaving Kiera(almost 4 months) because she is very picky about how she is held, and sometimes she will only eat for me, so I worry about her. My SIL is great though. She trys to do everything the way she thinks I would do it so I really feel I can trust her.

I think the fact that you fulfill your daughters needs means that she will grow to become independant and secure on her own. She doesn't need to be away from you to learn that.

I also wanted to add that I wish I had known some things you have figured out when I was a first time mom. I think you are doing great!
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  #16  
September 13th, 2005, 10:13 AM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Radish4ever--You are May mom...How come I don't see you on the May 2005 playroom board? Or were you due a different month?
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  #17  
September 16th, 2005, 08:26 AM
Radish4ever's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I was due April 28th! I check out the May board sometimes, though
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  #18  
September 16th, 2005, 08:28 AM
Radish4ever's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kierasmom@Sep 13 2005, 11:09 AM
I also wanted to add that I wish I had known some things you have figured out when I was a first time mom. I think you are doing great!
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Awwww Thanks, girl!
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  #20  
September 18th, 2005, 07:17 PM
MamaAshley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't beleive it is cruel to let a CHILD cry for a little bit, sometimes they just need to cry and let off some steam, but letting them go on and on without any reassurnce is extremely cruel and unnecessary. Babaies are another story, they cry as a means of communication, they are telling you they need you, need to eat, be changed etc...
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