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attachment issue?!?


Forum: Attachment Parenting

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  #1  
August 26th, 2005, 03:30 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 98
Hello everyone. I'm new to this messageboard and to motherhood! I'm a stay at home mommy whose husband works full-time. I have a wonderful 3 month old daughter (born a month early!). I NEED ADVICE!

My DH has been nothing but a supportive wonderful dad since day one. Unfortunately the last week or so our dd has grown quite unattached to daddy since he works all day. He will come home and start his daddy-shift and for a few minutes she'll be fine. Once she starts crying, it escalates to wailing shortly after. My DH insists on holding her to build trust but it just doesn't feel right to let her cry so hard with him. ANY ADVICE? Should I let him force trust or should I snatch that baby from him?

I introduced this post to the INFANTS messageboard, but I'd really like to get advice from practicing AP. I breastfeed and wear my baby and truly try to let my instincts guide my parenting. I really don't know if daddy is doing more harm than good.
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  #2  
August 26th, 2005, 03:50 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,769
I really would take baby from him. If he wants to get her attached him holding her while she screams won't help. He's going to have to go slow. Like sit down and just talk to her as she's in her bouncy and stuff. But she sounds miserable while he holds her and him holding he and her screaming will just make her more scared imo
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  #3  
August 26th, 2005, 04:10 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,160
I agree that he needs to take it slowly. My husband has the same issue and it's upseting to him too. He is trying to help her be more comfortable with him by playing with her, cooing and talking to her while I'm holding her or at least while I'm right there. If he is holding her and she cries, he might try a few things to calm her first, like walking around with her, taking her outside, or changing the position he's holding her in. But if nothing works, then she comes back to mommy. I think it's best to make sure they feel secure while theyre building that trust with someone other than mom.
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  #4  
August 27th, 2005, 10:34 PM
Radish4ever's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Fort Worth, TX
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I agree with the previous posters!
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Mom to Grace, Michael, Heath, and Charlie
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  #5  
August 29th, 2005, 02:18 PM
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Posts: 98
Thanks ladies for the advice. I hate to hear my dd cry and will do anything to make it stop. Instinctually it never feels right, even if it happens in daddy's arms. He tries his best (rocking, singing, playing, you name it!), but once she's wailing, she doesn't stop, despite daddy's efforts. I agre bonding occurs gradually and we'll continue to take it slow as long as she's uncomfortable. You ladies have helped out so much!

Luckily they both did wonderfully over the wkd and no intervention was needed! So we'll se if this continues!
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  #6  
August 30th, 2005, 08:46 PM
Radish4ever's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Fort Worth, TX
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So glad the weekend went well!!!!!! Woohoo!
Keep us posted!
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Mom to Grace, Michael, Heath, and Charlie
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