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What is cheating?


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  #1  
October 19th, 2008, 07:57 PM
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What do you consider cheating? Does cheating start at the first exchange of words, exchange of numbers, fresh and 'playful' texts/emails? Or does is cheating once physical contact takes place? Well, you get the idea.
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  #2  
October 20th, 2008, 05:00 PM
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It starts, to me, with that first innappropriate thought...
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  #3  
October 22nd, 2008, 05:09 PM
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It starts, to me, with that first innappropriate thought...[/b]
Ditto.


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  #4  
October 22nd, 2008, 05:21 PM
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I wouldn't say at inappropriate thoughts...

But the moment it becomes more physical (any form of communication) it's venturing into cheating territory.
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  #5  
October 23rd, 2008, 12:01 AM
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Cheating to me is anything you wouldn't do with your spouse watching you. That is the way I find it easiest to define.
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  #6  
October 27th, 2008, 08:01 AM
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Quote:
Cheating to me is anything you wouldn't do with your spouse watching you. That is the way I find it easiest to define.[/b]
ITA. I'm probably in the minority here - but I think the definition of cheating is different for each relationship and that the standards one couple holds for their own shouldn't be univeral. What works for a particular couple is their business IMO and I'm not one to judge a relationship I haven't been and will never be in. JMO.
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  #7  
October 27th, 2008, 10:02 AM
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Basically having thoughts about someone else
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  #8  
October 27th, 2008, 09:31 PM
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Basically having thoughts about someone else[/b]
I disagree, I think it is pretty normal to have thoughts about someone else. It is the acting on those thoughts when it become cheating.
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  #9  
November 8th, 2008, 10:14 PM
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I think it starts with that first thought. Anytime your heart strays from your SO, I think that's a huge problem.
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  #10  
November 9th, 2008, 05:09 PM
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I think that you should never do anything you wouldn't do in front of your partner. I also think you should try to keep your thoughts from going there... I do think it's not realistic to think you or your spouses thoughts will never stray a little - and I think that's an immense amount of pressure to put on most men. But I do think you shouldn't necessarily encourage those thoughts unless you don't mind ut going further. In reality all self help psychology basically says that if you want to change behavior, change how you think & your "self talk". So it makes sense to me that in remaining faithful, it is easier if you are mentally faithful as well (at least as much possible). Not sure if that makes sense.
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  #11  
November 12th, 2008, 11:44 AM
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I think that if you are thinking/doing anything that you wouldn't feel comfortable telling your spouse, then it's cheating.

As far as thoughts go, I think it depends on the situation. If you find yourself physically and/or emotionally attracted to a co-worker, for instance, recognize it, and avoid contact with that person as much as reasonably is possible, that I wouldn't consider cheating. You don't stop connecting with other people on certain levels once you are married, but I think you need to prioritize and avoid it. I think in that situation that if you find yourself often fantasizing about that person, then that is a form of cheating because it could lead you down a path that will hurt your relationship.
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  #12  
November 22nd, 2008, 01:46 PM
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I think it starts with that first thought. Anytime your heart strays from your SO, I think that's a huge problem.[/b]
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  #13  
December 23rd, 2008, 08:15 AM
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Quote:
Cheating to me is anything you wouldn't do with your spouse watching you. That is the way I find it easiest to define.[/b]
That is what I think too.
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  #14  
January 28th, 2009, 11:59 AM
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To me, cheating is doing something with someone else that you should normally only do with your spouse, or doing something with underlying romantic affections. For example, if I kissed a guy on the lips, cheating. If I go to a male coworker for emotional support and leave my husband out of it, emotional cheating.

This is not to say if your boss yells at you and you run to a male friend at work for comforting words its cheating. It'd be cheating to me though if you flirt with that male friend or bring issues to him you should bring to your husband.
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  #15  
February 7th, 2009, 10:14 AM
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Quote:
I think that you should never do anything you wouldn't do in front of your partner. I also think you should try to keep your thoughts from going there... I do think it's not realistic to think you or your spouses thoughts will never stray a little - and I think that's an immense amount of pressure to put on most men. But I do think you shouldn't necessarily encourage those thoughts unless you don't mind ut going further. In reality all self help psychology basically says that if you want to change behavior, change how you think & your "self talk". So it makes sense to me that in remaining faithful, it is easier if you are mentally faithful as well (at least as much possible). Not sure if that makes sense.[/b]
I totally agree. I also think that these things need to be brought up at the begining on the relationship, because many couple has had a blow out over what actually cheating is. My sister broke up with her boyfriend who was pretty much a great guy and loved her a lot. But he had a bunch of friends that were girls and they would sit on his lap all the time and snuggle next to him on the couch. He and his room mate swear that he just saw them as little sister types, but my sister wouldn't have it and left. I would have done the same thing as here, but I do think that they shoul have made the posistion clear at the begining so that they didn't have to go through that hurt and dispare.
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  #16  
February 8th, 2009, 11:39 PM
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Cheating is different in every situation.

When you KNOW IN YOUR HEART that doing something is WRONG, then it is cheating.

Some people are harder on themselves, some less so. If your partner AGREES with your view then you're okay.

If you email, text, or flirt with someone even if you never actually engage in physical contact it is still EMOTIONAL cheating. If your SO does it WITH YOUR KNOWLEDGE and CONSENT, then it isn't cheating. If you have a problem with it and tell them it's okay, then you're being walked all over.

If you engage in kissing, caressing etc it's obviously cheating.

However let's be realistic here! I can say that Bruce Willis is HOT! That is not cheating on my husband. He know I think Bruce is cute. I can looka t another female and think ''She is very sexy'' so why can't my husband? It doesn't mean he's cheating on me. Emotionally he is 100% in our relationship, that's where the difference is. And yes, he's man enough to admit when a guy is sexy too, it's a two way street.
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  #17  
April 14th, 2009, 11:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aprilmomto3 View Post
Cheating to me is anything you wouldn't do with your spouse watching you. That is the way I find it easiest to define.
Totally agree there!
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  #18  
April 26th, 2009, 09:44 PM
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I think an emotional or physical connection with someone is cheating, not flirting, or checking someone out but when your calling each other or seeing each other outside of work or going to lunch together or the obvious physical relationship that is cheating.
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  #19  
April 27th, 2009, 09:57 AM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aprilmomto3 View Post
Cheating to me is anything you wouldn't do with your spouse watching you. That is the way I find it easiest to define.
I agree.
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  #20  
May 15th, 2009, 10:19 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Cheating to my DH and I is flirting, anything physical (sex, kissing, etc.), phone sex, cyber sex, etc.
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