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  #41  
October 14th, 2005, 06:25 PM
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I think the chance of an affair at work is 10 times more likely then one at the strip clubs. there they just want money and at work it's the deprived wives who go after the married men. they may not be naked but there are things more attractive then nudidity.
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  #42  
October 14th, 2005, 06:30 PM
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I have never in 12 years of being with my dh, not trusted him. Again, if I didn't trust him to not have an affair with some bimbo at work...then I wouldn't be married to him.
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  #43  
October 15th, 2005, 07:22 PM
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I have no problems with DH going to a strip club, he doesn't go too often because of $$$$, but actually when he does go, he invites me to go also. It is a rare occasion for him to choose to go if i am not going also. We have been on a few occasions (thats actually where i took him for valentines day) and have a lot of fun going.
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  #44  
October 20th, 2005, 04:38 AM
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My dh has gone, but it was before we were even dating. He hasn't gone to one at all since we were dating, and only went the times before that because they were for bachelor parties.

He has always felt, and even more so now, that it is degrading to women. Now, like he says - that's someone's daughter up there, and he can't imagine (we only have one son now, but we may have a daughter some day, who knows?) how that must be for those girls/women's parents.

I have been to one male dance revue thing, and it was enough for me. It's just not my thing.

We both agree, however, that we have a completely trusting relationship, so that if one of our unmarried friends/family decides to have a bachelor/bachelorette party at a club, we can trust each other to go and it not be an issue.
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  #45  
October 24th, 2005, 09:03 PM
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I would let him go if he wanted to.. but he went once and it wasn't a very good experience for him. The strippers were very unattractive, one was even pregnant! (I was with him).

I trust him completely, so yeah, if it was his type of thing, I'd let him go.
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  #46  
October 25th, 2005, 04:33 AM
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Like I said before, in my opinion, it's a respect issue. NOT a trust issue. If you can't trust your husband, you shouldn't be with him in the first place much less worry about him going to strip clubs. dh thinks he would be disrespecting me by going to watch naked women shake their silicone for $. I'm sorry, DH and I have a hard time having respect for someone who takes their clothes off for money. It's about respect for the person you love. I think we all know what strip clubs are for...why would a man in a comitted relationship need to go to one?
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  #47  
October 25th, 2005, 02:54 PM
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I absolutely assure you that my DH has the utmost respect for me as well as our marriage and vice versa!! I think trust and respect go hand in hand and I trust my husband enough to know that he will respect me at all times! As I stated before, it is not a regular event (in the 5 yrs we have been together he has probably been 5 times) but it is not something that I feel threatened by on the rare occasion that there is a bachelor or birthday party he is invited to (and as I stated, I am more than happy to accompany him).
If you and your DH feel that these clubs are not "your thing" and not something either of you wish to patronize, then good for you, but please don't insult those of us with different views by implying there is a problem with us or our marriage because we don't share your opinion.
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  #48  
October 25th, 2005, 03:16 PM
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StaceyC"I absolutely assure you that my DH has the utmost respect for me as well as our marriage and vice versa!! I think trust and respect go hand in hand and I trust my husband enough to know that he will respect me at all times! As I stated before, it is not a regular event (in the 5 yrs we have been together he has probably been 5 times) but it is not something that I feel threatened by on the rare occasion that there is a bachelor or birthday party he is invited to (and as I stated, I am more than happy to accompany him).
If you and your DH feel that these clubs are not "your thing" and not something either of you wish to patronize, then good for you, but please don't insult those of us with different views by implying there is a problem with us or our marriage because we don't share your opinion."



Quote:
Originally posted by LouLouMom@Jul 4 2005, 06:14 PM
Nope. dh has never been one to like strip clubs, hey, some guys don't, and if he did want to go, I would wonder what I wasn't doing right at home.* I don't see any reason for him to go and personally I think it's kind of degrading to women*
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I said I would wonder what I wasn't doing right at home. Who's marriage did I attack? This is a debate board and it was my assumption that I was entitled to my opinion, however different than the others...and btw, I'm not the only one who doesn't like strip clubs or thinks they are degrading. I never said that there was a problem with your marriage...I honestly asked the question why a married man would want to go because I truly am curious.
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  #49  
October 25th, 2005, 03:22 PM
mrobinson
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LOL - this thread is funny. I'll share a story that just happened to us.

Darcy had to go to Vegas for work for a conference on a weekend. I couldn't go, I can't remember why, work or something... Anyway, the first night after the first day of meetings, all the Canadian boys went out to the strippers. Well, they were astounded the women didn't bare it all like they do here. Then, it was all about cash. The strippers would walk around and chat it up... if you had money, they would accomidate. At first Darcy kept saying, "no I'm not interested because I'm married" but then he had to reply, "I don't have any cash" to get them to quit offering! I thought it was funny.
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  #50  
October 25th, 2005, 03:42 PM
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LOL! If you got the $$$ honey, they got the time!

As far as the previous comments (LouLou) you and everybody on this board are absolutely entitled to your opinion, I completely respect the fact that you and your DH are not comfortable with the strip clubs. Your previous post :
QUOTE(LouLouMom @ Jul 4 2005, 06:14 PM)
Nope. dh has never been one to like strip clubs, hey, some guys don't, and if he did want to go, I would wonder what I wasn't doing right at home. I don't see any reason for him to go and personally I think it's kind of degrading to women

This implies that you feel that those of us that have no problem with these clubs or who's DHs have attended them are doing something wrong in our marriage, and I completely disagree. I have a different opinion and approach regarding these clubs and whether or not it is a violation of my relationship. I know that you are not the only one who feels this way (I am not surprised, I am more shocked at the amount of people who share my opinion on the matter, honestly!) The fact that you are offended by and not respecful of them is completely understandable, and I think it is great that your DH not only respects your views on the matter but shares them....to each his own! If I misinterpreted your statement then I apologize for getting defensive.
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  #51  
October 25th, 2005, 05:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by StaceyC@Oct 25 2005, 06:42 PM
LOL!* If you got the $$$ honey, they got the time!*

As far as the previous comments (LouLou) you and everybody on this board are absolutely entitled to your opinion, I completely respect the fact that you and your DH are not comfortable with the strip clubs.* Your previous post :
QUOTE(LouLouMom @ Jul 4 2005, 06:14 PM)
Nope. dh has never been one to like strip clubs, hey, some guys don't, and if he did want to go, I would wonder what I wasn't doing right at home.* I don't see any reason for him to go and personally I think it's kind of degrading to women*

This implies that you feel that those of us that have no problem with these clubs or who's DHs have attended them are doing something wrong in our marriage, and I completely disagree. <div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}>
[/quote]

Stacey, I was simply pointing out that in my previous post I said that I would wonder what I was doing wrong...that's just how I would feel, not how someone SHOULD feel. I would worry if I wasn't meeting his needs, if I wasn't attractive anymore...those are MY insecurities . I didn't mean to imply that everyone else should feel that way. I'm truly sorry if I offended you. Off topic, I hope your husband comes home safe and sound. My cousin's fiance just arrived in Baghdad and I can only imagine how hard it is for you...I fully support our soldiers. Bless him and the work he is doing BTW, my cousin's fiance says that the guys are all asking for Playboy magazines and she's too embarassed to buy them! I told her that dh has a stack of some from a few yrs ago that we could send...I think Pamela Anderson still looks the same Not the same as a strip club but amusing anyway!
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  #52  
October 25th, 2005, 05:11 PM
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Thank you sooo much for the support, it is VERY hard!! I am just hoping he is home in time for the birth (fingers crossed). My husband would love a stack of Playboys ...but you may want to let your cousin know that they check the packages and will remove them (theres always a slim chance they could leak through the cracks) its always worth a shot!
He will be home in a few months and I can GUARANTEE you, he won't be going to any strip clubs then.....I am going to be 9 months pregnant, hormonal and swollen....I don't think I will want him looking at a bunch of pretty naked bodies dancing around during that LOL....he will just have to make due with his roly-poly wife!!
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  #53  
November 7th, 2005, 12:19 PM
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I don't really care if my husband goes. He and I have been together, but he goes with the guys sometimes too (they're married or co-habiting also). I know he comes home to me; I have nothing to worry about. He would never do that; he'd leave me before he'd cheat. If I had to worry about him cheating all the time, then I just wouldn't be here at all. I'd be with someone that I DIDN'T have to worry about all the time!!
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  #54  
November 7th, 2005, 01:07 PM
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But why does he have to look at someone other than his wife? Isn't that disrespectful? Isn't it a waste of your money?
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  #55  
November 7th, 2005, 01:10 PM
mrobinson
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It doesn't mean anything... I go to work everyday and intract with males all day... that doesnt mean anything either... Take it to the other extreme - can he make any eye contact or look at any other woman? What if the women couldn't?
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  #56  
November 7th, 2005, 01:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by mrobinson@Nov 7 2005, 04:10 PM
It doesn't mean anything... I go to work everyday and intract with males all day... that doesnt mean anything either...* Take it to the other extreme - can he make any eye contact or look at any other woman? What if the women couldn't?
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[/quote]
Okay...the men you work with, are they naked? That's the difference. My dh does not "check out" other women out of respect for me. His friends always give him crap b/c he doesn't make comments about other women. I respect my husband the same.

Why does a husband or s/o go to look at other naked women? I honestly haven't seen an answer that makes sense to me, imho.
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  #57  
November 7th, 2005, 01:53 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
Originally posted by LouLouMom@Nov 7 2005, 03:46 PM
Why does a husband or s/o go to look at other naked women?* I honestly haven't seen an answer that makes sense to me, imho.
<div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}>
[/quote]
It doesn't matter is the thing... It's socially acceptable for some odd reason and it does go both ways.

You and your husband have an arrangement that works for you which is great. I can assure you respect is great between my DH and I even though he went to the strip clubs with his buddies in his younger years... as I'm sure respect is prevailant in most relationships.
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  #58  
November 7th, 2005, 02:58 PM
LouLouMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally posted by mrobinson+Nov 7 2005, 04:53 PM-->
Quote:
<!--QuoteBegin-LouLouMom
Quote:
@Nov 7 2005, 03:46 PM
Why does a husband or s/o go to look at other naked women?* I honestly haven't seen an answer that makes sense to me, imho.
<div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It doesn't matter is the thing... It's socially acceptable for some odd reason and it does go both ways.

You and your husband have an arrangement that works for you which is great. I can assure you respect is great between my DH and I even though he went to the strip clubs with his buddies in his younger years... as I'm sure respect is prevailant in most relationships.
<div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>
[/b][/quote]

It doesn't matter why a man wants to look at naked women other than his wife? I guess I'll never get it. I think it being "socially acceptable" depends on where you are. There are very few strip clubs downtown here. (we live in the suburbs) and there is a huge public fight when someone wants to come in a and build one. It's not accepted here. Maybe that's why I feel so strongly about it.

Agree to disagree?
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  #59  
November 7th, 2005, 03:03 PM
mrobinson
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Quote:
Originally posted by LouLouMom@Nov 7 2005, 04:58 PM
It doesn't matter why a man wants to look at naked women other than his wife?* I guess I'll never get it.* I think it being "socially acceptable" depends on where you are.* There are very few strip clubs downtown here.* (we live in the suburbs) and there is a huge public fight when someone wants to come in a and build one. It's not accepted here.* Maybe that's why I feel so strongly about it.

Agree to disagree?*
<div align="right"><{POST_SNAPBACK}>
[/quote]
ok! (When it comes down to it, I don't get so many socially acceptable things either - like working and money... I just don't get it.)
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  #60  
November 7th, 2005, 05:17 PM
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It wouldn't be about my letting him go or not. He would refuse to go. In my opinion, any man who has any respect for his wife wouldn't go to one of those trashy places. I can't think of anything more disgusting than women taking off their clothes for money. Besides being just a step away from prostitution it's offensive to me, to the female race, and to my idea of a loving and respectful marital relationship. IMHO
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