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cutenurse24 November 11th, 2013 08:28 PM

Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
So I worked three nights in a row and yesterday (Sunday) was my day to sleep to help reset myself after working three nights in a row. After I got up from my nap, I pretty much spent all evening in tears. The closer I get to delivery day, the more I am beginning to panic. I had an awful delivery with DS where I almost didn't make it. So in the back of my mind I keep wondering would DS remember me if something happened to me. Would he remember his mommy or forget me because there aren't a lot of pics of me around the house, I have lots of DS and hubs because I am always the one behind the camera. I am terrified of having another delivery like I did with DS but not making it and leaving DH with two kids. It breaks my heart to think that I wouldn't get to watch the kids grow and get to grow old with DH. Please tell me I am not the only one feeling like this.


My delivery story: I was young, stupid, and naive when I was pregnant with DS. I didn't understand what being induced meant, I just knew that I wanted DH to be there for DS's birth. I went in on a Wednesday night for them to put the inserts to help start labor. I was stuck 4 times for an IV because the nurse had issues getting the catheter to thread. After two of the inserts were put in I was starting to have some pretty good contractions. Little did I know that to my doctor induction meant to do every intervention possible. So he came in at 7am, broke my water and placed an internal monitor on baby. After he broke my water I got in a really awful intense contraction pattern and began to have back labor. I would try to move around the room and walk but the nurse would have a cow if I came unhooked from the monitor. Another hour or two, Pitocin was added to the mix and I thought I was dying from the contractions. My natural birth plan went out the window and I was begging for an epidural. Before I could get the epidural the nurse wanted to give me some IV fluid, by then my IV was no longer any good and I had to be stuck 2 more times for a new IV. I was getting the fluid bolus as the CRNA came in the room to do my epidural. After being stuck 3/4 times he got the epidural in and gave me a bolus of pain medicine. Apparently I am super sensitive to pain medicine because a few moments after I got the bolus of pain medicine my BP tanked to 60/30 and baby was in distress. My husband was in distress, panicked, and began to pace out in the hallway. (I think he panicked because the night of the induction I made him promise that if anything happened to me, that he let our child know my parents. Who says that to their spouse on the eve of delivering?? I did because I had a bad feeling in my stomach.) My mom stayed by my side and so did my nurse while unbeknownst to me, my room was filling up with nurses, CRNA, anesthesia, and my doctor's partner (b/c my doctor was in the middle of an emergency c-section). I felt awful and about to pass out when the nurses made me get on all fours and one of them had their hands in my vajay jay to try and stimulate baby. It was a very intense time that felt like forever but thankfully baby recovered although my BP never got over 90s/50s. I labored for another four hours and then rushed back for an emergency c-section because baby was having significant decels and not recovering well from them. Realized when I was being rushed to the OR that my epidural had never been running, it was placed in my back but I never got the pain medicine because the nurse never hooked it up. I was able to move myself/scoot myself over to the OR table. They prepped me and then they started the incision and I about came off the table because I felt them cutting me. They tried to reassure me that I was only feeling pressure and not them cutting on me. They gave me another bolus dose pain medicine sent my BP down into the 70s/40s and then they pulled out baby. I felt lousy and very pukey, I got Zofran but it didn't help much at all. Hubs brought baby over to tell me that we had a son. The nurse in me freaked out because he was grunting, his breathing was labored, and his nostrils were flaring. Hubs followed him to the nursery while I waited to for them to finish sewing me up.

Jibby November 11th, 2013 08:33 PM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
Yeah that is pretty traumatizing and I would be freaking out too if I had gone through that. Honestly...there is so much to be worried about that I can't even worry. I know in my heart it is going to be ok. I hope that this time you get a FAR better experience.

cutenurse24 November 11th, 2013 08:53 PM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
Thanks!!! I am really hoping this time is going to be different too. I was hoping to have a doula help me this time around (because the odds of my mom being here when baby decides to show up are slim since she lives 11hrs away) but looks like that isn't going to happen either. I was all excited because I interviewed the doula like two weeks ago. Seemed like it was going to go through but we weren't able to get the deposit to her quick enough and she now has another client. So that is pretty upsetting to me. Oh well, back to the drawing board.

SkyBaby November 11th, 2013 09:07 PM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
I'm so sorry you had such a terrifying experience. I'll be praying you have a far more smooth experience this time around.

I'm nervous about mine. I didn't have a super scary experience like that where I was afraid for my and DD's life. DD and I were both healthy all through labor and the eventual csection. My problems were (and still are) psychological thanks to some medical trauma I had as a small child. Completely different from your experience, but I'm still nervous.

10x_A_Mommy November 12th, 2013 03:49 AM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
Normal to be scared. My first got stuck and had to be ripped out by forceps which in turn ripped me in half, literally. I then went into shock and came to 3 hrs later an after several blood transfusions to finally learn I had a daughter. I was on heavy laxatives for 6 months bc they feared even a normal bowel movement would tear me back open.

I went on to have 7 perfectly normal non traumatic natural births after her :)

rnholly November 12th, 2013 04:30 AM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
That is not a good experience at all, but besides the low BP how did you almost not make it? I am just trying to rationalize that as a nurse. Your BP dropped from the pain meds, it's common. Now the fact that your epidural wasn't running... That is an issue. Maybe also have the CRNA do your IV from the get go if you are that hard of a stick. Just try to relax! I hope you have a much better experience this time.

Elessara November 12th, 2013 05:16 AM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
I'm not going to lie... in the beginning I was pretty terrified, but after reading several horror stories I feel almost empowered knowing what the worst could mean. I'm not scared anymore; instead I'm calm and determined to just take a deep breath, take care of things as they crop up, and put my "no" face on. (and I have one hellava "no" face. :P)

smsturner November 12th, 2013 05:34 AM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
I am so sorry that your first birth went so badly.
I do think it's normal to be scared. It's a monumental thing, and so much can go wrong. My first birth went well, but my second was hard for a ton of reasons. He was almost a csection. He barely fit (the midwife had to 'reach in' and move and adjust him for him to make it), and he was only 6 lbs, 8 oz. I'm worried that means a csection for me if this one is any bigger.
I'm definitely worried I'll end up giving birth in the car in february since my labors go fast. But then if he doesn't fit, what then??
With Marcus, the placenta didn't come off the way it should, some stuck, and i had massive bleeding, and had to be on some sort of pill for two weeks that gave me terrible cramps (hard with a newborn) and made me bleed even more.

I also know two women here on jm, that in the last year have lost a baby during or right before laboring. I have no idea how I would make it through that or handle it. That is terrifying. Far more than any other labor worry, of course.

melissalaw November 12th, 2013 06:09 AM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
I am a little bit scared but I have such a wonderful dr that I trust completely and know that he will help me get through anything. I think that it is very important to have a dr that you trust. My last delivery was terrible so I figure it can only get better this time. As long as my little boy gets here ok I'm sure that I can deal with anything that comes my way.

So sorry that your first delivery was so traumatic. Hopefully this one will go much more smoothly for you.

Jibby November 12th, 2013 06:20 AM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
If you can't have a doula, can you have a very clear plan you share with everyone? Does your doc know where you stand on being medically induced? Being induced is the one thing I personally will fight against short of me going very far past due date and having no other options because nothing else has worked. I have never heard a single induction story that was anything short of awful. I'm not having a doula but I am going to make sure I have my wishes well known by my doc.

victoria0294 November 12th, 2013 07:21 AM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
I'm nervous. I was fine, but as it gets closer I get more nervous. Tomorrow I'll be 27 weeks, which means I have at most 10 weeks left since my dr won't let me go past 37 weeks.
I know I'm having a c-section, so at least I don't have to worry myself over a vaginal delivery. But I'm nervous about the surgery. I know a lot of women have them and everything is fine, but it's still a major surgery which scares me. I just wish I could hit a fast forward button and be done with it already lol.

Kalia20 November 12th, 2013 08:22 AM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
Im more nervous second time around now that I have a good idea what to expect.

smsturner November 12th, 2013 08:36 AM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jibby (Post 27792727)
If you can't have a doula, can you have a very clear plan you share with everyone? Does your doc know where you stand on being medically induced? Being induced is the one thing I personally will fight against short of me going very far past due date and having no other options because nothing else has worked.

Me too. I do not want anything to do with being induced unless they have a seriously GOOD argument (like my baby being in danger) for it. I've never heard a good story with it either. It seems like the body will go for it when the baby is ready, he can't stay put forever, he's got to come out sometime, so leave it be.

Jibby November 12th, 2013 11:45 AM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
I would rather go days over and let things occur on their own before doing all the drugs. It just seems AWFUL. I think I rather have a csection than be induced tbh.

cutenurse24 November 12th, 2013 12:06 PM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by rnholly (Post 27792513)
That is not a good experience at all, but besides the low BP how did you almost not make it? I am just trying to rationalize that as a nurse. Your BP dropped from the pain meds, it's common. Now the fact that your epidural wasn't running... That is an issue. Maybe also have the CRNA do your IV from the get go if you are that hard of a stick. Just try to relax! I hope you have a much better experience this time.

You are right that it is normal for BP to drop with pain meds. It was the fact that I should have responded to the extra fluid bolus they gave me. When I wasn't responding to the extra fluid, anesthesia dr pushed some Neo IV, no response and then pushed Levo IV with no response to that either. Oh and the fact that while my BP was low, the nurse forgot to turn the Pitocin off further stressing baby. I also had some pretty bad bleeding issues post delivery. I actually think I would rather have my husband the paramedic stick me because he can hit even the veins you don't see.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jibby (Post 27792727)
If you can't have a doula, can you have a very clear plan you share with everyone? Does your doc know where you stand on being medically induced? Being induced is the one thing I personally will fight against short of me going very far past due date and having no other options because nothing else has worked. I have never heard a single induction story that was anything short of awful. I'm not having a doula but I am going to make sure I have my wishes well known by my doc.

Since I am wanting to attempt a vbac, I can't be induced. My doctor is great and very patient. He knows my wishes as well as my husband. I was just really hoping to have a doula for extra support so I don't get bullied into things I don't want.

StacyNMatt November 12th, 2013 07:32 PM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
It is normal to be scared! I to am not looking forward one bit to delivery day! I am nervous/ scared as well! My last birth was an induction as well, and I have not had an epidural with none of my pregnancies, and with this last one I had to be induced because my placenta was aging and baby needed to come out. Well, my labor stalled and I had to sit straight up in bed with the pit cranked up, my contractions were horribly through the roof, they wouldn't trun it down to give me a break, and like I said they made me sit straight up cause he wouldn't moved move down further in my pelvis. They did finally give me stadol and after about twenty minutes, his head was out and my doctor about missed the whole delivery. I had to stop pushing after his head was delivered, to be cut so his shoulders wouldn't rip me(so they said), he was purple at that point! He had bruising on his scalp doue to the pressure. My blood pressure sky rocketed afterwards, and I had the biggest headache I had ever had in my entire life! So yes, I am not looking forward to doing the whole labor and delivery thing as well! But I keep reminding myself that every delivery is different, and I am hoping a praying that this one is smooth sailing :) I guess we all have our own worries ;) I hope and pray that your delivery will be sooooo much smoother this time than the last!

PrettyMommy November 12th, 2013 07:43 PM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
That all does sound traumatizing. i can honestly say I have never had a really bad labor and delivery. I did have an issue with my 3rd and the idiot couldn't get the epidural in until after 3 attempts. And DS didn't seem to want to turn when his head popped out. It was a tough birth but not like yours. I am nervous also though because of so many unknowns with this birth and the babies issue. So this is the most nervous I have ever been.

Cyn November 12th, 2013 10:39 PM

Re: Anyone Else Nervous About Delivery----Scary Delivery Story Included
 
Your last birth story does sound scary. I'm so sorry you had such a rough time! I had a similar experience but not as bad I think. I was also induced with pitocin but my water broke right before they were going to break it. They then gave me my epidural which was awful. I got this paralyzing electric shock all throughout my body and as it turns out, it only numbed my sides and legs, not my tummy and back where I needed it. They kept giving me boluses of pain meds as I kept telling them how awful the contractions were from the pitocin, but it did nothing except make my legs even more numb. Finally I begged for another epidural and while they were giving it to me my bp and my ds's bp also tanked. They proceeded to rip out the epidural and strip me and get tons of hot blankets on me as I was shivering so badly. There were so many nurses/docs in the room. My dh said it was the most terrifying thing he's ever seen. The worst of it was they wouldn't stop my pitocin, without my docs consent and seeing that it was the middle of the night I had to wait 3 hours for my dr. to be paged and get there. It was the most pain I have ever experienced. Suffice to say, when my doc did get there she pretty much bullied me into the csection as she was trying to do the night before, and I just gave in from the pain. Thankfully my spinal went fine and so did my C-section and my ds was born with no issues.

BC of everything I went through last time, I changed ob/gyn's and the hospital I'll be delivering at. I was hoping to Vbac this time around, but that depends on my complete previa moving. Otherwise I will have a repeat C-section between 36-37 weeks. I am also really scared of having another epidural after both experiences last time, but I know me and I have zero pain tolerance so I have to get one.

So I am right there with you being really nervous and scared to do the whole delivery thing again. (((hugs)))


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