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*Dayna* April 14th, 2012 09:05 AM

I'm back:)
 
I'm sure you're all thrilled, but this time I can promise I will be on my best behaviour. I hope :p

I have a question regarding child support and before I take it any further I would like some opinions. And since you ladies are the most opinionated I've come across ,why not post it here?

Quick story.

My ex and I split up. I'm in Australia with our two children and he ran back to the states.

Child support has been set, but he hasn't paid me a cent.

He is working two jobs, both cash.

The support is 'private' for now which means the agency doesn't get involved at all.

If I decide to make it 'public' then what will happen?

He isn't paying me, I need the money for the kids but I have heard horrible stories so I'm unsure as what to do.

What would you do?

K.A.T April 14th, 2012 11:35 AM

Re: I'm back:)
 
From the legal stand point, I don't think there is much you can do since he's in the states. This in now international and you really need to contact an attorney about it.

*Dayna* April 14th, 2012 11:40 AM

Re: I'm back:)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by K.A.T (Post 25895699)
From the legal stand point, I don't think there is much you can do since he's in the states. This in now international and you really need to contact an attorney about it.

Australia and America are combined when it comes to it.

I can make it public then he will have to pay.

If he doesn't, what happens? Court, still no pay, then jail? I'm not sure and I'm not wanting to be horrible.

K.A.T April 14th, 2012 11:49 AM

Re: I'm back:)
 
Pretty much like you said. Court, you can have his wages garnished to avoid non payment. But if he's getting cash, it becomes tricky. You would have to file contempt charges for non payment before he will be arrested. It takes time and they're not always arrested. But at least with it being public, he will be responsible for any arrears. So if he ever comes into money, even his tax refund, they will most likely seize it from him and give it to you until he's paid up to date. Also, different states have different child support laws, so it's really hard to say how that state would handle it. You truly need to at least speak to an attorney. That's the only way to find out how it could all go down.

*Dayna* April 14th, 2012 11:50 AM

Re: I'm back:)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by K.A.T (Post 25895733)
Pretty much like you said. Court, you can have his wages garnished to avoid non payment. But if he's getting cash, it becomes tricky. You would have to file contempt charges for non payment before he will be arrested. It takes time and they're not always arrested. But at least with it being public, he will be responsible for any arrears. So if he ever comes into money, even his tax refund, they will most likely seize it from him and give it to you until he's paid up to date. Also, different states have different child support laws, so it's really hard to say how that state would handle it. You truly need to at least speak to an attorney. That's the only way to find out how it could all go down.

Thanks for the info, I really wasn't sure.

I really don't want to press charges. I am completely surprised that Australia/USA are together with child support.

*Jennifer* April 14th, 2012 11:51 AM

Re: I'm back:)
 
I agree that an attorney needs to be contacted. I know you don't want to be horrible, but being nice won't get your children the financial support they need.

Not sure how the entire cash for the 2 jobs is going to play out. My guess is that he may be investigated for not paying income tax or underreporting how much he earns. I don't know what the penalties are for that or how it will affect to ability to pay at all. Maybe you could use that as an incentive to get him to support his children without getting the courts involved, if you really don't want to go the legal route.

*Dayna* April 14th, 2012 11:52 AM

Re: I'm back:)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by *Jennifer* (Post 25895745)
I agree that an attorney needs to be contacted. I know you don't want to be horrible, but being nice won't get your children the financial support they need.

Not sure how the entire cash for the 2 jobs is going to play out. My guess is that he may be investigated for not paying income tax or underreporting how much he earns. I don't know what the penalties are for that or how it will affect to ability to pay at all. Maybe you could use that as an incentive to get him to support his children without getting the courts involved, if you really don't want to go the legal route.

I really don't want courts involved, just want him to pay me.

I don't want to get his boss into trouble either. Oh the dilemma.

*Jennifer* April 14th, 2012 02:12 PM

Re: I'm back:)
 
Got it. Has he given you a reason for not paying yet?

*Dayna* April 14th, 2012 02:47 PM

Re: I'm back:)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by *Jennifer* (Post 25896082)
Got it. Has he given you a reason for not paying yet?

None. He said,'I understand you're in a bind and I will help you out when I can'.

Whatever.

*Leslie* April 14th, 2012 02:54 PM

Re: I'm back:)
 
To hell with not going through the courts and letting him pay when he can. He's already proving, quite quickly, that he is not willing to pay you on a consistent basis. Your kids don't just eat "when he can". I would never advise anyone, under any circumstances, to do this outside of the court of child support agency. Even if you were on good terms now, what about next year? and the year after that? What about when he gets a new girlfriend and she doesn't want him to pay, or she has kids and he uses it to support them.
Bottom line, the kids deserve that money. Get a support order.

*Dayna* April 14th, 2012 02:56 PM

Re: I'm back:)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lesliek0211 (Post 25896185)
To hell with not going through the courts and letting him pay when he can. He's already proving, quite quickly, that he is not willing to pay you on a consistent basis. Your kids don't just eat "when he can". I would never advise anyone, under any circumstances, to do this outside of the court of child support agency. Even if you were on good terms now, what about next year? and the year after that? What about when he gets a new girlfriend and she doesn't want him to pay, or she has kids and he uses it to support them.
Bottom line, the kids deserve that money. Get a support order.

I know you're right but sigh. I feel like a complete ***** doing it.

Should I tell him I'm going to give him one week and then do that?

K.A.T April 14th, 2012 02:59 PM

Re: I'm back:)
 
I say screw giving him time, just do it. He might think that with him being in the states you can't do anything about it. Just get it done.

*Dayna* April 14th, 2012 03:01 PM

Re: I'm back:)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by K.A.T (Post 25896199)
I say screw giving him time, just do it. He might think that with him being in the states you can't do anything about it. Just get it done.

I know, I should. I have to.

I told him a month ago it was,'two weeks'.

I just feel really bad about the whole situation.

And he would be wrong. Child support agency covers both countries.

Only reason he hasn't gotten into trouble is because of me.

*Leslie* April 14th, 2012 03:27 PM

Re: I'm back:)
 
Don't give him time, it won't make any difference. He might come up with some quick money to appease you for now, but two months down the road will probably be a different story. It will be an endless cycle of threats. Just do it now, and save yourself years of trouble.

foxfire_ga79 April 14th, 2012 03:36 PM

Re: I'm back:)
 
You need to get started ASAP making it public. It took me 2 years to get a Virginia order modified for Georgia, when both of us were living in Georgia and not arguing about the amount!
For the longest time I didn't want the courts involved, but jeez trust me it's so much easier on everyone now that the money comes right out of his paychecks before he even gets to think about it. He thought I was being mean when I first did it but you have to stand your ground and make it clear that child support isn't a punishment for the man, it's support for his CHILDREN.
Also, it might help him put things in perspective if you detail what you spend on the kids. My ex thought I was full of it when I told him how much, so I saved receipts for everything from signing them up for sports to their clothes and school supplies. Once he saw it in black and white he didn't have much else to say.
Be tough now, it'll be easy later.

Oh, and welcome back. I've missed you so terribly. :P lol

*Dayna* April 14th, 2012 03:36 PM

Re: I'm back:)
 
Sigh...you're both right. I will call the agency tomorrow.

Thank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by foxfire_ga79 (Post 25896301)
You need to get started ASAP making it public. It took me 2 years to get a Virginia order modified for Georgia, when both of us were living in Georgia and not arguing about the amount!
For the longest time I didn't want the courts involved, but jeez trust me it's so much easier on everyone now that the money comes right out of his paychecks before he even gets to think about it. He thought I was being mean when I first did it but you have to stand your ground and make it clear that child support isn't a punishment for the man, it's support for his CHILDREN.
Also, it might help him put things in perspective if you detail what you spend on the kids. My ex thought I was full of it when I told him how much, so I saved receipts for everything from signing them up for sports to their clothes and school supplies. Once he saw it in black and white he didn't have much else to say.
Be tough now, it'll be easy later.

Oh, and welcome back. I've missed you so terribly. :P lol

Receipts are a good idea. He's ordered to pay $111 a week. He has two jobs, he can afford that.Doing this is making me feel so anxious.

Why did it take two years?

And thanks,I'm better now though. Lots of medication :P

foxfire_ga79 April 14th, 2012 03:57 PM

Re: I'm back:)
 
It took 2 years because the agency dragged their feet. They never could keep up with the paperwork.

KrazE April 14th, 2012 05:58 PM

Re: I'm back:)
 
I for one can attest to the fact that even with the courts involved, a final order AND an enforcement agency, it doesn't necessarily mean you will see a cent.

Canada sucks for enforcement of child support. Sure, they will cancel drivers licenses, passports, put federal support orders in place (take from income tax), but then they make it easy to hide assets and allow for a spouse (common-law even) to make all the tax claims so the federal orders are useless anyway. And if they owe the government any money - well, they get their money first and to hell with the children in the support order.

My ex & I did a custody change in July last year - the two oldest are living with him as they wanted that opportunity before they are adults & out on their own (They will be 18 & 17 in June this year), and the two youngest are with me. I gave up the $27,000 child support arrears that he still owed as I did not want the 2 moving in with him to do without, and the sheer length of the court battle just to get anything out of him had already gone on for 2 years at that point (paid for by the enforcement agency) with no results.

I certainly hope for the best for you & the kids, but never, ever budget for child support; in most cases, you will never know for certain if anything will ever show up.

*Jennifer* April 14th, 2012 06:04 PM

Re: I'm back:)
 
I just want to add in that you shouldn't feel bad about any of this. I don't know if it has to do with the reason you split, but he left his children during a very difficult time of their lives. Instead of running back to the states, he should've had the decency to show his kids that he will always be there for them, whether or not you two are together!

stardusthealer April 15th, 2012 03:43 AM

Re: I'm back:)
 
Child support is not about you being a b to him he help create the kid and he has to help support them. whether he likes it or not he is responsible to help you financially to ensure your children get what they need.


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