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MzzMommaD June 20th, 2012 01:45 PM

not sure what to do PLEASE NOTE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL
 
I would like to post here, I am not sure what to do. Monday my best friend (who is like a sister to me) lost her husband. He committed suicide in front of her and their 3 year old son. However it is still unclear if he MEANT to or if he was just angry and trying to scare her. he was doing a "have you ever played Russian roulette" and shot himself in the chest. But then said " I'm so sorry I love you so much." Right before he passed. My friend and her little boy both got hit from back spray from the shooting. We have been talking every day even if its just a few words here and there, she lives two states away. I cant imagine how she feels right now. But I have been crying on and off since. we are all so close. We told her we will help in any way if she needs it, cremation, services. Im so worried about her son. He said to her today, "Daddy gone shoot." followed later by "Daddy gone heaven not come back". My heart is just completely broken for the two of them. I am trying to see if we can have her come back out here and be with us. Which she is considering as her apartment lease ends in two months. But I just dont know what to do or say. I know its still early, but I also know how strong se is, and how much she has been through in her life and that in time she will recover and find happiness on some level again. I just dont know what to do or say.

temmons0703 June 21st, 2012 07:23 PM

Re: not sure what to do PLEASE NOTE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL
 
To be honest I don't think it's going to matter much what you say, but just being there for her and listen to her and just let her cry on your shoulder is going to be the best thing for her right now. If that was me I'd imagine that she's probably still in shock about everything that has happened and when the reality sets in she's going to need you to be there for her and any help you can give with her son will be a huge load off her shoulders right now. I am really deeply truly sorry for her loss and her and her son are in my prayers. I'm so sorry

cachex10 July 23rd, 2012 10:09 AM

Re: not sure what to do PLEASE NOTE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL
 
I agree with ^^. I lost my husband to suicide in April of 2011. Thankfully I did not see it happen but I was the one to find him and those images are hard to hold. There wasn't anything at all that anyone could say in the beginning to help although I really felt like I was grasping trying to find that comfort. The best thing that you can do is to be there for her, to listen to her even when she repeats the same things over and over again.

Also, make sure you have someone you can talk to about your grief. I definitely wouldn't talk to your friend too much about your own pain at losing him and what happened for a little bit. At least until she can get through some of the shock she's going to be in for a while.

Huge hugs and thoughts to you and your friend. I absolutely hate it when I hear another family is going through this. It's really something she'll always carry. It truly feels like a life sentence. I hope that with some counseling and great friends (like you) she'll be able to put her life back together and find some peace for herself and her son.

*Jennifer* August 24th, 2012 10:08 AM

Re: not sure what to do PLEASE NOTE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cachex10 (Post 26304921)
I agree with ^^. I lost my husband to suicide in April of 2011. Thankfully I did not see it happen but I was the one to find him and those images are hard to hold. There wasn't anything at all that anyone could say in the beginning to help although I really felt like I was grasping trying to find that comfort. The best thing that you can do is to be there for her, to listen to her even when she repeats the same things over and over again.

Also, make sure you have someone you can talk to about your grief. I definitely wouldn't talk to your friend too much about your own pain at losing him and what happened for a little bit. At least until she can get through some of the shock she's going to be in for a while.

Huge hugs and thoughts to you and your friend. I absolutely hate it when I hear another family is going through this. It's really something she'll always carry. It truly feels like a life sentence. I hope that with some counseling and great friends (like you) she'll be able to put her life back together and find some peace for herself and her son.

I couldn't read your post without replying. I am so sorry for your loss.


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